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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman having a go at children in shop

109 replies

Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 22:56

2 children were in the store and I'm guessing they were being a bit hyper as they were buying some sweets. They were about 11.
However, I was quite uncomfortable with the way the children were spoken to by other customers.

It started off with the security guard asking the children where their parents were to which the girl explained she was with her friend (she seemed quite intimidated), the security guard thne started raising his voice at her about how her mum should not let her in the shop on her own and next time her mum must be with her.

Her friend then came from the checkouts after buying sweets and an elderly lady came up to both children and pointed her finger at them saying "I can't even bring my husband to shop with me yet here you two are in the shop together"

I understand the security guard warning the children if they were misbehaving or whatever but AIBU to think the elderly lady should not have got involved with two children who already looked quite shell shocked?
Covid rules are reducing now what with indoor restaurants and pubs opening that I couldn't believe the woman had a go at 2 children over the fact she doesn't bring her husband shopping with herConfused

OP posts:
BackforGood · 17/05/2021 23:00

It isn't over the fact she "doesn't bring he husband shopping with her" but about the fact that "people are being asked to shop alone where possible"

Yes, we are moving towards more freedoms, but that was still the announcement in the supermarket I was in this morning.

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:01

@BackforGood sad times we live in when we can now have a meal in a pub but 2 children are scalded for being together

OP posts:
lljkk · 17/05/2021 23:03

yanbu & all part of covid control madness

Ledkr · 17/05/2021 23:04

She sounds like a bully. She wouldn't have had a go at them if they were with an adult
Anyway 2 people from different households have always been able to meet outdoors and I bet loads of people popped into a shop together.
Poor kids, no wonder we have a problem with our youth in this country when they have early experiences like this.

CirqueDeMorgue · 17/05/2021 23:04

I think that's inappropriate tbh, a stranger trying to guilt trip 11yos.

Duckyneedsaclean · 17/05/2021 23:04

Poor kids.

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:05

@lljkk plenty of adults were walking around the shop in groups; The security guard was already scalding the children and I just thought it was a bit tasteless for the lady to randomly tell them off about being together when adults are now dining together

OP posts:
Shelovesamystery · 17/05/2021 23:06

Both the security guard and the lady were being ridiculous. Of course an 11yo can go into a shop without a parent Confused And the lady was just being a busy body, I think most people are fed up with the self appointed covid police now.

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:07

@CirqueDeMorgue I felt the same! I wish I said something at the time but I think I was as shell shocked as the children at the way the security guard and woman were speaking to them

OP posts:
Childcare0 · 17/05/2021 23:08

Completely inappropriate of the female customer.
How unpleasant to guilt trip two children for buying sweets together in a shop.
Meanwhile the adults can neck a pint in the pub together and no one bats an eyelid.

Also safety in numbers children should not be encouraged to be alone in public places. My two are much younger, but it’s surely basic safety advice you would give to a pre teen when out without parents - stick with a friend, and they should not be shamed for it.

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:08

@Shelovesamystery the security guard in the supermarket is new and he hasn't made himself popular. He seems to be on a constant power trip asking some people as they leave to show their reciept to prove they paid for their 5p bag,
Shocked he still has his job

OP posts:
AlmostSummer21 · 17/05/2021 23:11

It's a shame if the kids were intimidated by the security bloke.

Unless they have a policy of 'no unattended minors' he was out of line telling her she wasn't allowed in without her mum

The older woman was out of line sticking her beak in as well.

IF the kids were being a bit 'exuberant' then fair enough for one person to tell them to calm down or whatever, preferably a staff member, but any adult really, but just one snd focussing on their behaviour, not their existence. .

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:11

@Childcare0 exactly! I'd understand if the securty guard was telling them off for stealing or running around or whatever, but he was scalding her about where her mum is, telling her her mum should not have let come to the store on her own, and he kept asking her where her adults are and the poor girl look flustered!
To me, this will just provoke anxiety in the children to go shopping

OP posts:
GrumpyHoonMain · 17/05/2021 23:11

It’s more about kids being their unsupervised than them together. Kids tend to cause trouble in supermarkets

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:12

Just annoyed at myself I didn't stick up for the children

OP posts:
Serin · 17/05/2021 23:13

A woman in Cheshire was prosecuted a couple of years ago for threatening to shoot some schoolgirls who were doing an organised hike with the guides and had got themselves lost. They had accidentally strayed onto her land. Instead of helping them she threatened to kill them.
Some people are bullying arses, just because someone is older doesn't make them a nice person. Poor kids.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/05/2021 23:13

Scolding...

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:14

@GrumpyHoonMain but don't most people start to go to the shop with a friend/friends during the pre-teen years?
I remember going to the shop at 10 with my cousin with our pocket purses with £2 in it that mum had gave us.
Normal part of growing up.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 17/05/2021 23:14

Scalding is something quite different.

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:14

@GreyhoundG1rl thanks for your interesting input Grin

OP posts:
Childcare0 · 17/05/2021 23:19

It’s a right of passage surely, the first time As a pre teen you are trusted with a small amount of money to walk to your local shop with a friend. And kids haven’t had normal for such a long time, unless they were causing mayhem you’d think adults would just let them be.
you’d think they were smoking a joint and drinking vodka from the reactions described!
If people only have two kids giggling over a pack of sweets to moan about, then lucky them!

Flaxmeadow · 17/05/2021 23:20

This kind of thing happens all the time where I live. No one minds an elderly lady from the neighbourhood speaking to children in a shop, or even telling them off once in a while. They should do it more often.

She only said one sentence them. She probably comes from a generation where this was the norm back on the day

Original poster
Funatunsh · 17/05/2021 23:22

@Flaxmeadow fair enough if the children were genuinely being disruptive. But this young girl looked in shock at the male security guard telling her that I don't think being an elderly gives people an excuse to further make a child uncomfortable

OP posts:
Flaxmeadow · 17/05/2021 23:28

an elderly lady came up to both children and pointed her finger at them saying "I can't even bring my husband to shop with me yet here you two are in the shop together"

Hardly the end the world though. The girls probably just laughed about it later anyway.

Elderly people get scared and feel vulnerable sometimes and we all need to respect that in our neighbourhoods. Yes she might have been rude but I think young people make allowances for bossy elderly ladies anyway. They understand more than we think they do and have fussy Grandmas and Nans

Summerfun54321 · 17/05/2021 23:29

I’d have told the old lady to fuck off and asked the kids if they were alright.

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