Woman having a go at children in shop

[Funatunsh]

2 children were in the store and I'm guessing they were being a bit hyper as they were buying some sweets. They were about 11.
However, I was quite uncomfortable with the way the children were spoken to by other customers.

It started off with the security guard asking the children where their parents were to which the girl explained she was with her friend (she seemed quite intimidated), the security guard thne started raising his voice at her about how her mum should not let her in the shop on her own and next time her mum must be with her.

Her friend then came from the checkouts after buying sweets and an elderly lady came up to both children and pointed her finger at them saying "I can't even bring my husband to shop with me yet here you two are in the shop together"

I understand the security guard warning the children if they were misbehaving or whatever but AIBU to think the elderly lady should not have got involved with two children who already looked quite shell shocked?
Covid rules are reducing now what with indoor restaurants and pubs opening that I couldn't believe the woman had a go at 2 children over the fact she doesn't bring her husband shopping with her

Poor kids. 11 is old enough to go to the bloody shop. If they spend all day at school together then males no sense to worry they are in in shop together.

Covid police do my head in. Tbise kids could have been running ah errand fir their mum or elderly neighbour who couldn't get to the shop but no let's automatically they are up to no good amd single handedly wiping out the population in the village/town.

@Flaxmeadow

Covid has sucked the joy out if life..

Especially for the elderly

For most people actually. Not just the elderly. Doesn't give the lady a reason to be rude in shops to children.

She only said one sentence them. She probably comes from a generation where this was the norm back on the day

Well, hardly, given that we've only had the "rule" about being unaccompanied in shops for less than a year.

She sounds like an interfering old busy body and maybe the security guard should stick to watching the shoplifters.

@Flaxmeadow respect works both ways, being old doesn't give you the right to be rude and obnoxious.

I think @Flaxmeadow was the old lady !!

@Flaxmeadow

I’d have told the old lady to fuck off

This is what's going wrong. No respect whatsoever

I don’t agree with swearing, but respect is earned. This woman was unpleasant to two children who hadn’t done anything to her. I wouldn’t respect a person like that simply because she is elderly.

@LuaDipa

Well said, the interfering busy-body.

Poor children. Since when has it been okay for grown adults to scold children who are having harmless fun? They're 11 and giggly, hardly 18 and punching grannies.

In your first sentence OP you talk about these girls being “hyper” care to clarify? We’re they misbehaving and therefore came to the attention of the security guard? In which case they deserved a telling off.

@LuaDipa
@Flaxmeadow

+++++++

Flaxmeadow
I’d have told the old lady to fuck off

This is what's going wrong. No respect whatsoever
I don’t agree with swearing, but respect is earned. This woman was unpleasant to two children who hadn’t done anything to her. I wouldn’t respect a person like that simply because she is elderly.

+++++

Actually given the educational sacrifices these 11 year old girls have made during Covid and the impact it will have on their lives post Covid in order to "not kill granny" - then if anything it should be the elderly lady showing respect and gratitude to the 11 year old girls.

The security guard was in the wrong, does he approach everyone who isn’t shopping alone? Bet he don’t! Nope picked on 2 young children instead.

As for the woman she should have kept her nose out of the situation. She is choosing to shop alone.

Hopefully the children will now choose somewhere else to spend their money.

Being told off by rude, ill-informed adults is a bit of a rite of passage. They’ll eventually shoot up a few inches in height, develop the teenaged stare and people will avoid commenting.

I asked 11 year old DD what she’d think of it happened to her and she said she’d be mortified but she thinks the girls were correct to both be in the shop as they’re from different households and would have to touch each other’s food if only one went in, which is a Covid no-no.

Some of the 11 year olds around me cause a lot of hassle in the shops and the security guards know who they are , maybe he had had them in before

Most of the shops have 2 schoolchildren in at any one time as there are a fee that cause trouble
This was even the case when I was at school 25 years ago
Maybe the adults overacted ,, but chances the girls laughed about it or if really upset told their parents.

Plus OP mentions they were hyper,, and a supermarket isn't a playground especially at the moment
But you see parents all time letting kids run around as heaven forbid they tell their children no , parents going in having a go at teachers as they dared tell their child off
Op really needs to explain Hyper as if they were shouting , running then expect to get told off

I went to the cafe with my friend outdoors last week after a long walk. Nobody scolded us for being together.

My next door neighbour is disabled and can’t always gets out to the shops so sends her two children together, ages 10 and 11. It’s a busy main road to cross and she thinks safety in numbers.
Fair enough if they were pissing about, but they’re kids. People have no tolerance at all.

Shell-shocked? I don't think so. That's what PTSD used to be known as.

This thread is a magnet for the usual episodes of conflation and Mumsnet what-abouttery.

To keep it simple:

• The security guard stated the mother should be with the girl.

Yet most store policies are saying "shop alone" where you can. There's no law saying they can't be out at that age alone. So it's just his view, shared in frustration to try and bring them down a peg.

If he had said "Store policy is that you must be accompanied by an adult" then fine. But I think he was just trying to intimidate to get compliance.

• the elderly lady could just have said "can you calm down?" Or "stop that" etc. Instead she makes a comment about something the girls have no control over. It's again born out of justified frustration but.. why?

Both parties could have been firm but fair. Instead they lashed out to make their snide points.

I don't condone or justify boisterous or intimidatory behaviour in teens, I speak up. But there is a way of doing it and both parties didn't do it.

Let the old lady get on with it. It may make the kids think about being better behaved in a shop in future!

@londonscalling

The old lady's beef wasn't their behaviour but the fact she thought they shouldn't be in a shop together.

@londonscalling

Let the old lady get on with it. It may make the kids think about being better behaved in a shop in future!

It would help them think, if she had said something to make them think!

Instead she came across (understandably) bitter and didn't say anything of import.

It is not the girl's fault that many shops recommend shop alone, and her husband can't be there.

This unilateral "respect the elderly" stuff is fine when it comes to getting the right behaviour from a potentially overindulged youth. It doesn't however mean whatever old people say is automatically correct.

Fair enough if they were pissing about, but they’re kids. People have no tolerance at all.
It was pretty obvious they were, or they wouldnt have attracted attention.

I’m really surprised a security guard would e pact an adult to escort an 11 year old, surely most 11 year olds are capable of popping into a shop alone especially if with a friend.
I used to go to the shops alone all the time in primary and secondary, we’d buy snacks before going to school or head to the shops during our lunch breaks to get some lunch.