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Original poster

Pregnancy - the gift that just keeps bloody giving

40 replies

funnybones1234 · 17/05/2021 10:43

Just sitting here reflecting on how tough it is - and I feel like your just not allowed to talk about it. Don't get me wrong I have an absolutely beautiful DS that I couldn't be more ecstatic to be a mummy too - but I am just bloody done!
From week 5 I had debilitating morning sickness - had to take medication while working full time and looking after a toddler. I literally couldn't lift my head off the pillow. Then the body changes, the worry & anxiety, the constant aches and pains, need to wee etc.
I just didn't enjoy any of it.
Fast forward to my second traumatic birth which ended in a C section, the recovery, the breast feeding which has been a battle, physically and mentally, which has lead to baby not gaining Weight and moving to formula.
Now my boobs feel like they are going to explode, I can't shower because of the pain while I wait for my milk to dry up and to top it all off, I've now got period pains and am awaiting the mother of all mensural cycles.
Tomorrow I have my 6 week check and my doctor wants to talk about contraception.
It's just one big head fuck, and I don't think it's talked about enough how it zaps your life away for nearly a year, and now I'm desperate to find myself again but my body feels like a deflated balloon and I just don't know where to begin!
Genuinely lovely my baby to pieces and feel mentally fine - just reflecting on the hammering I've had this year and feel like I'm ready to get off this bloody Merry go round.
Hats off to those women that keep going and have lots of children, maybe I'm just a martyr 🤣

OP posts:
GrolliffetheDragon · 17/05/2021 20:43

YANBU.

I stuck with just the one child after horrendous morning sickness that nobody would do anything about, pre-eclampsia, traumatic induction and labour, third degree tear and what felt like a million stitches everywhere. Oh and I ended up on so much medication I swear I rattled if I moved.

Liervik · 17/05/2021 20:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

sapnupuas · 17/05/2021 20:48

Currently pregnant and hating every single second of it but I can't express that in real life.

Traveller3367 · 17/05/2021 20:59

Tbh I think I've been really blessed when it comes to pregnancy. I didn't get morning sickness with either. All I got was tiredness. I really enjoy watching my body change and the feeling of having a life growing inside me. It is much harder with a toddler but hopefully will be worth it to see DC with a sibling and hope they will be as close as I am with my siblings.
Sorry you're having such a hard time. Hang in there

NCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNC · 17/05/2021 21:28

With you OP. Shit at my job right now, shit mother, shit wife. 10 weeks pregnant and can barely function. Haven't brushed my hair, house is in tatters. Logged off at 3 and will have to catch up later in week. Fucking hate it, but do want the baby!

Horehound · 17/05/2021 21:30

Yanbu. It's shite.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/05/2021 21:32

I had a medically easy pregnancy and I still hated it. I cried every day. Apart from the annoying physical symptoms I struggled with the whole reappjaibiltiy of it, the giving up all the fun stuff like wine and stinky cheese, and the fact that strangers or acquaintances suddenly found it acceptable to talk about my changing body or make 'jokes' about my size. Just all of it. I'm aware I was lucky to be pregnant but that awareness meant I coulsnt speak to anyone about it

birdglasspen · 17/05/2021 21:33

Its shit! Pelvic girdle pain. Feeling utterly useless. 3rd one on the way and most certainly the last! So many crap parts of pregnancy and birth, yes it's worth it but it's bloody hard going and of course can't say it! Be a deflated balloon for longer, your only 6 weeks post partum.... time will come when you feel more normal!

SmidgenofaPigeon · 17/05/2021 21:36

I’m never doing this again.

WHY IS IT such a taboo subject to not love being pregnant?? I’ve got no ‘glow’, I can’t drink my beloved wine (yes I know I can probably have a small glass but I want MORE) I’m awake all night with heartburn and was sick every day for months, and will have to work in my job as a nanny probably until my water’s break on the way back from piano-fucking-practice. I found out I was pregnant really early too so it seems like forever, I’m only halfway though, and the first three months I assumed I’d lose the baby anyway like the first one, so I was on edge and frankly hellish to be around. Maternity clothes are not my normal style at at all- WHY is everything floral or have stupid fucking slogans all over everything? I found a nice striped top and It says ‘MUMMA’ on the front!!

I am soooo looking forward to having my lovely baby at the end of all this but that is it, I’m not going through it again.

On the plus side it’s been nice not to have to try and hold my stomach in all the time Grin

toolazytothinkofausername · 17/05/2021 21:37

YANBU.

Original poster
funnybones1234 · 17/05/2021 21:52

@SmidgenofaPigeon urgh I forgot to mention the heartburn!! So glad I'm not the only one that thinks it's utterly shit!
Of course it comes full circle and we will all look back in a few years and realise it was short in the grand scheme of things - but when your in it, boy oh boy is it rough.

OP posts:
Yokey · 17/05/2021 21:58

I hated being pregnant. Felt so shit and worried the whole time. Body still not back to normal a year on. But I can't get pregnant naturally and still can't help but think of it as a beautiful thing. And my baby is the best thing ever. Hope I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again with my next IVF treatment.

You're right though - it's tough. Just so many billions of people do it that you're expected to suck it up

SharyBobbins · 17/05/2021 22:06

Can't believe no one has mentioned the haemorrhoids yet.....or is that just me?! Blush

BadgertheBodger · 17/05/2021 22:13

It’s not just you Shary! 2nd time round for me and I’m constipated and tired and fed up, all I want to do is hibernate until November but unfortunately I still have to pretend I’m a functional adult with a job and a small kid to look after. I’m moany and grumpy and I’ve no energy, and I’m pissing myself off because I’m even boring myself at this point. I can’t even run either because I’ve no energy and the minute I start I need a wee, even if I’ve just been Hmm and I love running and it’s affecting my mental health to not do it!

Anyway. Rant over. I want this baby so much but I very often wish I didn’t have to be so involved in growing every cell of it. I keep thinking newborn cuddles but it feels a looooong way off

Chillychili · 17/05/2021 22:16

The haemorrhoids, the fat ankles, the constipation, the pelvic girdle pain, the nausea, the aching, the exhaustion, the heartburn, the constant need to wee, the inability to be comfortable, the worry. I didn’t glow at all, I was grumpy exhausted, and overinflated with fluid.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 17/05/2021 22:22

Can I add horrifically sore boobs? They actually wake me up at night 😂

SharyBobbins · 17/05/2021 22:28

Sorry you've had to put up with them too @badger! The only thing "glowing" about me was the size of the haemorrhoid I had last week that the GP tried to send me to hospital to have surgically removed (at 36 weeks pregnant!). Thankfully the hospital said they were too busy & she prescribed some cream which has helped massively. Latest weird symptom is not being able to use ky fingers properly first thing in the morning!

Hankunamatata · 17/05/2021 22:29

Didnt mind pregnancy or birth - super lucky. Its the after effects - pelvic problems (need up with uneven pelvis, incontinence (which can be treated), lack of breastfeeding support. You deal with all those bits then theres bloody menopause to look forward to - now that's a thing people really dont talk about

SnackSizeRaisin · 17/05/2021 22:33

I hate it too. Don't understand how anyone could actually enjoy pregnancy.

SpringBluebellWoods · 17/05/2021 22:34

After I gave birth I felt like my body was a battlefield. There wasn’t a bit left that wasn’t somehow sore or different (c section wound, catheter, sore back from epidural, drip in hand, punctures in thighs from the anti clotting jabs, soon to come explodingly painful boobs).

SmidgenofaPigeon · 17/05/2021 22:35

My boss is actively ANNOYED I don’t enjoy it- she harps on and on about how ‘special’ she felt all the way through Confused

GrolliffetheDragon · 18/05/2021 10:10

@Hankunamatata

Didnt mind pregnancy or birth - super lucky. Its the after effects - pelvic problems (need up with uneven pelvis, incontinence (which can be treated), lack of breastfeeding support. You deal with all those bits then theres bloody menopause to look forward to - now that's a thing people really dont talk about
That's a whole other hell. I thought the flooding was bad, then the being incandescent with rage over fuck all or so anxious I feel like I'm having a breakdown started.

And still, trying to get a GP to listen is a fucking nightmare.

Right now I feel my whole life has been lurching from one hormonal nightmare to another. I know that's not actually true. Well, not completely true. But it feels like it.

Youdoyoutoday · 18/05/2021 10:24

My first pregnancy I thought I was going to die of indigestion, how could my body produce so much acid and not kill me, it was awful. I had unexplained infections and pains that landed me hospital a few times.
Second pregnancy I have really bad gestational diabetes so had to do lots blood tests, insulin, food diaries for the nurses.

The tiredness, the aches, hormonal surges and the peeing, how did I not dehydrate??

However I certainly enjoyed not having to cover up my wine barrel belly... I was pregnant, I'm allowed to have a bump on show! That was the best thing ever.... now I'm back to sucking in and baggy tops!!

philadelphiafreedom · 18/05/2021 15:22

I’m in my first trimester with first baby and torturous morning sickness, I genuinely don’t think I could ever do it again. I’m so debilitated (pretty much glued to my bed aside from the never ending cycle of bathroom trips) that I have no idea how I would look after another DC if pregnant again. Meds barely touch the sides but have made me feel like a giant grotty mess. Doesn’t bode well for the rest of pregnancy, birth and body changes that go with.

All the mum friends I’ve spoken to have been sympathetic but shared they didn’t really suffer with any sickness. It’s quite stigmatised - when I am lucky to be having a baby - to want to shout that I f*** hate the pregnancy experience and would rather be repeatedly poked in the eye

sapnupuas · 18/05/2021 15:29

@philadelphiafreedom

I’m in my first trimester with first baby and torturous morning sickness, I genuinely don’t think I could ever do it again. I’m so debilitated (pretty much glued to my bed aside from the never ending cycle of bathroom trips) that I have no idea how I would look after another DC if pregnant again. Meds barely touch the sides but have made me feel like a giant grotty mess. Doesn’t bode well for the rest of pregnancy, birth and body changes that go with.

All the mum friends I’ve spoken to have been sympathetic but shared they didn’t really suffer with any sickness. It’s quite stigmatised - when I am lucky to be having a baby - to want to shout that I f*** hate the pregnancy experience and would rather be repeatedly poked in the eye

Have you spoken to a doctor for anti sickness medication?