AIBU for trying to get rid of these boys

[Lima1]

I live in a housing estate. When you drive in I live in a small cul de sac of 10 house that has two small green areas in front. The road then continues around to the rest of the houses all of which have green areas around them. In our row of 10 house we have 14 children who play out front. For some reason kids from the rest of the estate all come around to our area and play out the front of our houses. Generally this has been fine and they all mostly get along.
More recently 5 boys from other estates have been coming to our estate to play with the boys that are not from our cul de sac. Despite the fact there are not playing with our kids, they are all still gathering on the small greens in front of our houses.
I dont like these other boys. The last time they came around, one of them grabbed my 10 yr old DS in a headlock and banged his head off the ground and broke his glasses. All these boys are in my DS10 class. They are quite rough. After the incident I went to speak to the boys, I gave the boy who broke my DS's glasses a note to bring home to get his parents to call me and asked them to leave the estate. They laughed at me and told me I couldnt tell them what to do.
The came around yesterday evening again. My DH went out to the boy and asked him why his parents havent called us, the boys just snickered and wouldnt answer him.
I had to keep my boys inside as this big group of boys were playing on the greens outside our house. They stayed for about 2/3 hours.
I can see this becoming a regular occurrence. I dont want my kids near them. They are coming to play with the kids from the other end of the estate but all of them play outside our house even though none of the kids in the group live there.
AIBU to do something to move them to a different area, and any suggestions for how to do it.
I am conscious that most of the boys are in my DS' class and I dont want to embarrass him or cause him hassle in school.
When they came around yesterday two boys from our cul de sac were playing football on the green. The group joined in and took over to the point the two boys went in and played in their back garden.
They come up on bikes and cycle aggressively around cars coming into the estate and leave all their stuff thrown all over the paths, I hate to see them coming around.

" one of them grabbed my 10 yr old DS in a headlock and banged his head off the ground and broke his glasses"

This is an assault - have you spoken to your DS's teachers? I know it happened outside school but the fact they're purposefully coming to play outside his house, and have assaulted him, suggests there may be some ongoing bullying. Are you sure nothing is happening in school?

You’re making it worse. Leave them be, keep your boys in for now and stop highlighting that these boys are being a problem. They’ll keep coming back if they know their getting a rise out of you. They’ll get bored and move on, otherwise contact your local PCSO and ask them to pay a visit.
If you know who these boys are then why not speak to their parents after school? Or have a word with the head teacher about pupils
In the school being antisocial. Their 10, should be easy enough tho frighten/warn them off with these tactics

Try calling 101 and ask them for advice?

@namechangemarch21 I did contact the school to watch for anything going on in there and they said they would. One of the boys has been causing serious issues in school, I know a number of parents who have made complaints about him. So far it seems ok but DS a bit worried going in this morning.

@ivy48 - the boys walk home from school, parents dont collect them . I dont know where they live. I dont think me ignoring them is going to have an effect, they are there to play with the other kids and are having great fun. They are being welcomed in by the other boys, which is fine, but I would rather they didnt all play in front of my house meaning I cant let me boys out.

Since your son was aggressively put in a headlock and his glasses broken, tell the school. The boy's parents should be informed.

I'd ask children's social services for advice too. Why are 10 year old cycling on roads away from their home unaccompanied by an adult and away for hours. Do mum and dad know / care where they are. Sounds like neglect to me and we are all responsible for alerting the SS if we think a child might be at risk.

I voted YABU but only because I agree you’re going about this in completely the wrong way. Contact the school, contact the local PCSO or the police, but stop trying to manage this yourself, you’re only making this worse for your son and probably encouraging them to come back to be deliberately antagonistic.

Having lived in an area riddled with young teen louts stealing bikes, causing damage and harassing people, I'd say you won't be able to do anything about it. The police are pretty much powerless or apathetic. At most, they give them a talking to, have a chat with the parents who don't give a damn and that's about it, nothing changes.

And in your case, they are not actually causing great trouble as such, just being rough and obnoxious. Address the glasses issue through the school, of course the kid wasn't going to go home and tell his parents what he's done.

I hate to say it but when I was a kid, if someone was trying to get rid of us we would have gone there more. We were not bad kids either, but man if we were being pestered by a grown up to move on we would have given them hell for far longer than we intended to be around. Let it fizzle out on its own. Also your son will get so much crap at school for it. Unless they are actually breaking the law or causing real trouble leave them be and hope they find somewhere else to play

Get your local councillor involved. May or may not help

I’d report the assault to the police and demand that the parents of the bully pay for the glasses to be replaced.

Contact the police and report the assault.

Police said if you would report such an attack on yourself as an adult then you do the same for your child. They were tracked down, a report filed with school and warned off at home with parents present to ensure it didn't happen again.

@BrilliantBetty allowing 10 year olds unaccompanied during the day isn't neglect. I say that as someone who works with vulnerable children alongside social work. You can't keep them wrapped up forever, they need to gain independence and responsibility. In a year or so they'll likely be expected to get to school and back themselves.

Call the police. The school isn't involved in incidents taking place off school premises (or they shouldn't be anyway).

If you know their names and the school, contact social services or ask the school to do it. Play up concerns re neglect

If someone assaulted your child, report it to the police.

Other than that, of course you can't tell children where to play because they seem 'rough'.

call the police they assaulted your son

Your husband going out to "tell them off" is possibly the most attention they'll have had -it really isn't going to make them go away

You gave them a note and actually expected them to hand it to their parents? That was never going to happen. Doing that has probably ensured they’ll congregate outside your house even more now.

Sadly the more they can wind you up they will . You won't be on your own being irritated by them but they will eventually get bored .

If you know their names and the school, contact social services or ask the school to do it. Play up concerns re neglect

Don't 'play' anything up to social services. As if they aren't overstretched enough with actual cases of abuse.

10 year old playing outside isn't social service worthy.

The assault on your ds is absolutely worth reporting to the police, they assaulted him and broke his property.

I wouldn’t involve school - they have enough to do dealing with incidents that happen in school. Your child was assaulted though - why wouldn’t you involve the police?

MN always seems overly sympathetic with rough children, to the detriment of children behaving normally. Definitely report the assault, hopefully they can put some sort of distance requirement in which will rid your poor DS of the problem. I’d also make sure the good children in the local area know they can play in your garden safely away from these violent children, so your son doesn’t miss out on valuable social interaction with his peers.

I’d be worried that they’re in the same class as my child, and would push the school to move them elsewhere.

Unfortunately there's nothing you can do - you just have to wait until they grow out of it and move away. By telling them to move on you will just make the situation worse - kids like nothing more than to do what they're told not to, especially if the person has zero authority over them.

I'm astonished you would think that they would have handed that note to their parents. They're not decent children - if they were, they wouldn't have assaulted your child.

I would say give it five or six years and they'll be moving on by themselves, once they're 15 or so there is always a bus stop to smash up and cheap cider to be drunk. In the meantime, keep your own children inside and don't allow them to play with any kids out front, whether they are harmless ones or otherwise.

Sorry but I think you’ve handled this quite badly OP. You can’t dictate where the boys play, unless it’s your own private property. I would say by telling them to move you have inflamed the situation and they will play there more to piss you off. Might be an idea to have a chat with the teacher about the dynamics in class to make sure it doesn’t spill over into the classroom and turn into bullying.

BrieMineWine Agree sadly! Just like you cant tell people not to park outside your house ,you cannot stop kids/Youths playing either .Yr 10 pupils are 15 or 16? Maybe have a word with the PCSO .I dont know if anything will be done though .

Nasty little shits.