AIBU?
Neighbours loud sex
Herewegoagain22 · 17/05/2021 09:17
I live in a terrace house, my neighbour to one side is lovely and so quiet. The one to the opposite side is usually the same. But he's a single guy who has just gotten himself a girlfriend and they are at it for hours!!
I didn't realise just how thin the walls were until this all started. At the moment it's every Sunday from 7pm-11pm (I know it's quite a marathon). And usually during the night/early morning on Monday .My friends and I are convinced he's on viagra. Now I have no qualms with hearing it occasionally as it's just life, but it's the fact it is continuous for hours at a time, I can hear them from my living-room and my bedroom and it's just becoming irritating now. My house is my sanctuary and I'm feeling uncomfortable in my own house. They usually also wake me up around 3am or 6am too and I have work to get up for.
I retaliated this morning (wrongly I know but I was exhausted) by playing Avici - wake me up loudly in my spare room whilst getting read as adjacent to his next door. I'm going to text him to ask that he's just a little bit more considerate but is that being unreasonable? How do you even go about wording something like that? I don't even particular think he will care, he has openly admitted he is sex daft
lazylump72 · 17/05/2021 09:21
Difficult one this OP. I don;t envy you having to tackle it as on the one hand he is doing nothing wrong in the privacy of his own home but on the other he is disturbing you, I think I would maybe play some loud music when it goes into full flow noise wise just to let them know if they can hear you then you can hear them! This might do the trick without you having to say anything??? not ideal but if you do it for a week then maybe the penny might drop? I know i would have difficulty tackling it.
DoingItMyself · 17/05/2021 09:48
Shout words of encouragement. Clap and cheer.
Do you live alone? If you have a partner, could you try being 'loud', too?
My next door neighbour had loud music on until two and three am, until one night when they switched theirs off, I put mine on. I think they just hadn't realised how their music would run through someone else's house.
Ponoka7 · 17/05/2021 09:53
Don't do any of these or you are going to become your other next door, nightmare neighbour. Between 7-11 there's not much you can do. The 3am one is the one to mention. It isn't unreasonable to not want to be disturbed during the night. They could always go downstairs to do it, if they can't keep the noise down.
memberofthewedding · 17/05/2021 09:57
I used to live in a flat with the same problem. NDN bedroom next to my living room. This was back in 1960s and two gay guys so technically illegal.
I didnt know them to speak to so just put a note through their door on the lines of "Im sure you would not want others to know your business". One guy came round to invite me in for a coffee and we ended up being quite good friends.
Herewegoagain22 · 17/05/2021 10:21
I live on my own, and I'm currently single so no chance of me giving him a taste of his own medicine 😂. It's bed and couch squeaking, headboard and also her moaning away for hours on end. She also talks rather loudly as well so I can tell anytime she is over, she talks at decibel levels as if she has a microphone at her mouth.
I just feel a bit stumped because like others have said, it's his house so technically he can do what he wants.
WellJuhnelle · 17/05/2021 10:32
Our next door neighbour recently got a girlfriend who we refer to as Stormi Daniels because we think she thinks she is auditioning for a role in some kind of porn film. He works really early in the morning so we (me and the kids - not my husband who can sleep through anything 
)were regularly being woken up at 4am by her performance moaning.
ANYWAY eventually I got so fed up of it that I text him - I think I said something along the lines of ‘Just to let you know we are quite regularly being disturbed early in the morning, we normally don’t hear anything but I think because there is no other noise at that time it is worse. Just wanted to let you know’.
He was mortified and we haven’t been disturbed since!
nosyupnorth · 17/05/2021 10:41
I had neighbours like this - a quick 'I'm not sure if you're aware but the walls here are actually quite thin and certain sounds can carry' was enough to get them to tone it down, I think since I'm a quiet neighbour they genuinely didn't realise just how much of their activity was coming through the walls.
Folklore9074 · 17/05/2021 10:42
No need to be embarrassed because the noise in question is sex. Text him/pop a note through the door and let him know that the noise he is making is impacting on your life and ask if he can keep it down - same as any other inconvenient noise a neighbour was making really. Doesn't need to be a nasty note or anything, just make him aware of it. Sounds like he's in the first flush of lust and is probably completely oblivious.
EveningOverRooftops · 17/05/2021 11:05
@DoingItMyself
Do you live alone? If you have a partner, could you try being 'loud', too?
My next door neighbour had loud music on until two and three am, until one night when they switched theirs off, I put mine on. I think they just hadn't realised how their music would run through someone else's house.
Air horn. Every. Damn. Time.
SomewhereInbetween1 · 17/05/2021 11:32
We dealt with this exact same thing at equally anti social hours, the 3am round was a particular kicker!
I spoke to him in person, I don't embarrass easily and even though I know it must have been embarrassing for him for me to complain about it to his face, I actually think this particular situation requires that awkward red face moment to get your point across. It was so loud I felt a bit like an unwilling voyeur in their relationship and whilst up to 11pm was annoying, the 3am round was unacceptable.
We got some quiet for a few weeks and then had a few bad nights again so this time we put a letter through his letterbox. It stopped after that.
HarrisMcCoo · 17/05/2021 11:39
OP it's Five Finger Death Punch you need to play!!
I have been through all this a couple of years ago. Just like you, I tried to just accept it's one of those things - until it got to the point my sleep was continuously disturbed, and ended up getting sleeping tablets from my GP ( she was sympathetic). I also contacted the local authority. They do take this stuff seriously, btw. And he spoke to my NDN.
It quietened down a bit. But then picked up again. Next thing I see a Moses basket being carried out and a few weeks later they had moved away. Peace and quiet.
I am up early every day so didn't have the luxury to just lie around and rest during the day. People like this just get on my nerves. Lack of consideration for others.
I just kept filling out form after form.
Palavah · 17/05/2021 11:41
@Folklore9074
This
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