Only one grandchild given money

58 replies

pumpkin12 · 16/05/2021 22:48

I recently found out my mum gave 1 of her grandchildren £12,000 when they started university under a year ago. There are 8 grandchildren ages ranging from 3-22. I have 2 children and neither of mine or any other grandchildren have been given or have money put aside for them. The family home was sold 2 years ago by my mother for around £85,000 when my father passed and obviously no money was given to me or my siblings as it's my mums but rather than buy a new small home she decided to rent and have her savings to be her best egg - great but she's not done anything other than fritter it away, which is sad considering how hard my parents worked but again not my money. However I feel upset no other children are handed a penny when one has been handed so much. The grandkid that has the cash doesn't need it for fees so is now using it to live off rather than getting a PT job. I want to say something to my sibling but they feel that it's entitled as they done/do a lot to help out, or even say to my mum but again I know there's no point, I just feel as usual no one is treated fairly, my mum never treated us equally but as it's my children it's harder to swallow. Just need a moan but wonder what others would do?

OP posts:

Menoismymate · 17/05/2021 14:53

I certainly wouldn't be chasing after money from my parent when I knew they were likely going to run out of cash themselves. It's fine to be annoyed at how unjust it seems but I think I'd worry more about mum giving away money that she can't afford to.

sammylady37 · 17/05/2021 16:56

@The3rdMrsdeWinter

I'd put money on all the holier-than-thou posters saying "its her money" throwing a hissy fit if it was their DC who missed out.

They'll deny it but ...

Well, I’m in a situation whereby I know what’s in my mother’s will. She is still alive and has shown me her will. I know it favours one of my siblings over the rest of us, to a significant degree. I don’t know exactly why it does, though I have an inkling, but my attitude is that it’s not actually my business, my mother has the right to do what she wants with her own money and I’ve no right to question it. I accept her decision without any bitterness or resentment, and I certainly am not going to stop providing care/reduce the care I provide or go LC/NC as is so often advocated on here when people say they are disadvantaged in wills.

The3rdMrsdeWinter · 17/05/2021 17:03

sammy it's different when it's your child who has been slighted.

sammylady37 · 17/05/2021 17:42

@The3rdMrsdeWinter

sammy it's different when it's your child who has been slighted.

Yes, I’m sure it is... if you’re someone who has a huge sense of entitlement and think your child should be as front and centre of everyone’s world as they are yours

GroovyClementine · 17/05/2021 18:42

Family home?
That was her house, to sell as she pleased.
It didn't belong to the family.
The money is hers to spend how she wants.

I'm getting the strangest notion that some members of your family think she sold their house and is now spending their money.

Her money, her responsibility. If she wants to give it to one grandchild only, she can. If it runs out, it's also down to her to live with the consequences.

The3rdMrsdeWinter · 17/05/2021 19:20

Yes, I’m sure it is... if you’re someone who has a huge sense of entitlement and think your child should be as front and centre of everyone’s world as they are yours

Ooo er!

No at all. We teach our children that essentially life isn't fair but we (as parents) count on our parents treating our children fairly and equally and I would think it would be very hurtful if they didn't. Mine would never have dreamt of doing that.

sammylady37 · 17/05/2021 19:22

^ that’s a sense of entitlement right there! Your parents don’t have to treat your children equally at all. They can do what they wish with their money.

mainsfed · 17/05/2021 19:30

@The3rdMrsdeWinter

Yes, I’m sure it is... if you’re someone who has a huge sense of entitlement and think your child should be as front and centre of everyone’s world as they are yours

Ooo er!

I agree. Usually there is a consensus on MN that parents should split property equally between DC, so I don't know why OP is getting such a kicking. She isn't even after the money herself, she's just seen favouritism for a sibling extend to their child.

And I speak as a carer for my mum who won't inherit her house!

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