To ask those who WFH with a partner who also WFH if you have separate offices/spaces?

[HairyHocks]

DH and I have both been WFH for the last year and it's not obvious when either of us will be back in the office.

I've always had my own office in the past, and have struggled not being able to talk to myself, wander about when on the phone, and even just be quiet/still to think.

DH has always been in open plan offices and enjoys the company. He genuinely can't comprehend that I'd like my own space, and he takes it a bit personally.

We have a room that could be turned into a second study without it being a great loss.

Out of interest, how common is it to work in separate rooms?

YABU - partner and I work in the same room without wanting to work separately

YANBU - partner and I work in different rooms of the house (or absolutely would work in a separate room if one was available).

We're quite well set up in that we have a 'study' with 2 desks and 2 pcs with multiple screens but when the schools were closed that still wasn't enough for 4 people to work and study at the same time.

Dh installed himself at the kitchen table because he prefers it and his work laptop is faster than a citrix connection on our desktop. I'm more nomadic, kitchen table is a base but I wander off with the laptop if we're both talking on Teams at the same time and use the desktops if dc are permitting.

I like the companionship of working together but not so keen on all the tapping, singing and self talking from dh! I do find it lonely when we work completely separately though.

I'm actually surprised how common this is, but it has given me a kick up the backside, thank you!

I had honestly expected that DH would have gone back to the office at least for 1-2 days a week by now, or I'd be doing similar, so it always felt like a temporary problem. But 14 months on and there's still no clear plan for a wholesale return to the office. I'm sad to leave my nice home office though, it's by far the nicest room - I'd need to find a way to make the move a clearly temporary one so that if he starts going back to the office I can go back to how things were, otherwise I suspect I'll find it difficult to reclaim the space.

I know I'm the loud one. It doesn't seem to bother him, he just puts on his headphones but then he invariably starts tapping his feet or drumming on the desk or doing a weird sitting-down-dance and then gets very offended when I tell him to stop what, from my silent side of the office, looks like some sort of episode

profyaffle I know what you mean, my main problem is that on some 'task focussed' days I couldn't care less that he's there, and on other days I find his presence quite irritant. Sometimes it's because of what type of work I'm doing but other days I'm just a bit grumpy/intolerant!

Poor DH

Even right at the beginning we were separate and we were both in open plan offices beforehand. DH is on calls all the time. And my colleagues piss me off fairly regularly so I swear a lot. If neither of us are on calls, we’ll go and see the other for a chat and we also have lunch together to get over that not seeing anyone aspect.

We had the study set up beforehand. Study is a grand term, it’s a porky little room with the boiler and fuse box. I’ve never liked it in there, so I went to the kitchen table and DH got the study. A couple of months in and the kitchen table had wrecked my back so as soon as IKEA opened we grabbed a desk for me and reordered the house a bit. We have an old two up, two down. The living room has been knocked through so it’s one long room. I’ve now got my desk in the front half of the living room and the living room in the second half. It actually looks a lot better now, when is a happy coincidence. We occasionally swap rooms if I need to be able to close the door on the dogs.

We work in the same room as we both like the company but I move into the spare room for meetings.

Dining table for me, which is also in the living room. My husband uses a pop up desk in the kitchen. Yep.. it’s tight! Our son has a desk in his bedroom though which he was able to use.

We work in different rooms because I’m really irritating and never shut up if we’re in the same room.

So now I work in the living room and he works in the spareroom.

Separate spaces are necessary for us as my job involves confidential calls, and he does a lot of meetings as well. If we didn't have a spare room then one of us would have been sat on the bed!

There's nothing wrong with needing your own space though, we spend a lot of time with partners at the moment and I would find it really hard to sit in the same room all day and then also all evening/ weekend - would drive me mad as much as I love him!

Yanbu. DH works in the study (I don't want it, its really cold in there!). I work at the kitchen table. We each have plenty of space, I have a dedicated cupboard where I put my things away. We meet up for coffee breaks and a walk at lunch 😁

DH has the home office nowadays because he is on Zoom all bloody day and shutting him away so we couldn’t all hear it all the time was the only way everyone could cope. I have space for my laptop and essential papers in the bottom of the sideboard and sit at the dining room table to work but can put everything away afterwards.

We meet for lunch and a siesta for an hour every day and occasionally stick our heads round each other’s doors to offer a coffee but otherwise nope.

Dh is zooming/phoning all day. No way could anyone work in there!! He’s at a small desk beside a bed, not a home office.

@HairyHocks

profyaffle I know what you mean, my main problem is that on some 'task focussed' days I couldn't care less that he's there, and on other days I find his presence quite irritant. Sometimes it's because of what type of work I'm doing but other days I'm just a bit grumpy/intolerant!

Poor DH

Then I think the onus is on you moving away to another space when you want the quiet and solitary element.

However, I don't think that it's fair for you to be able to stake a forever claim on the room in the way that you do. I think that if you opt to go elsewhere, you forfeit claim to the room as such and if a better use of the room is suggested or evolves, then so be it.

We managed one day of working in the same room. It was hell! He says "great stuff" like a robot every 30 seconds on every phone call and I apparently shout. We couldn't hack it. DH worked in our bedroom after that. We've since moved and now have separate spaces, thank god.

We have had to re purpose a couple of spaces but yes own rooms we are both on the phone a lot and my husband deals with sensitive information so it wouldn't work otherwise.

@pepsicolagirl

We are lucky enough to have separate spaces which is how my OH has survived the last year tbh

^This. Thank the lord we have a 4 bed house with only one DC remaining at home. DH is soooo loud when on the phone I wouldn't have been able to think. And he has noise on ALL the time, music, radio, tv. I love the silence!

We both work from home, always have. We are very fortunate to have enough space for two offices. Which is just as well or I doubt we'd have remained married

Separate rooms. My husband has always worked from home so we bought a house with a study.

I work from the living room so I can have the tv on for background noise.

First lockdown, we shared the dining room table - mainly because the kids were also home so it was easier. Then I changed jobs and was out of the house everyday.

Another job change meant being back at home, I think I lasted 3 days sharing a table before realising that was not going to work longer term. New job involves calls and meetings and he shouts when he is on a call! I am currently in the spare room, but this was suppose to become my eldest’s bedroom at some point, hopefully I will be back in the office then (H permanently WFH now)

We work in the same room. It’s easier now I’ve changed jobs and have less meetings. We do both wear headphones sometimes, and listen to our own music although we also listen to music together. We do mostly go into other rooms when we both have meetings, apparently his colleagues find my typing very loud and he is very loud on a call, despite being quiet when talking normally 😕. I’m used to working in an open office though, so I find him less disruptive than a room full of people.

We have separate working spaces. I know how lucky we are. Our smaller spare bedroom is a dedicated study which I use. H uses the dining room (we have a separate kitchen/diner so effectively the dining room is now his dedicated study). He has a lot of calls which would annoy me and I'm a solicitor so a lot of my calls are confidential and I cannot have anyone else in the room with me.

We only moved to this house a couple of years before lockdown and most of that time it was being completely renovated. The interior was finished just in time - the ethernet cable for my study was connected on 20 March 2020! Just so lucky with the timing.

Hated full time WFH at first. Now boss is talking about a return to work programme and I am terrified, not of covid, but of the notion of being thrown back into the world of open plan, commuting, face to face meetings ... I am a massive introvert anyway and lockdown has sent me further that way.

And he has noise on ALL the time, music, radio, tv. I love the silence!

stillcrazyafterall

Yes! My DH's most life-endangering trick is, if he's starting work later than me, to come into the room and put on the radio, even if I already have some quiet music playing! I prefer silence but tried having some very quiet soft music on in the background in the hope that when he arrived at his desk he'd leave the radio off. But he just plonks himself down all of 4.5 feet away from me, and proceeds to start up the radio on his computer. He would honestly be happy with both of us playing separate music just a few feet away!

DH has been mostly WFH for several years and has an office. It's only tiny and horribly messy.
I work in the kitchen or dining room. When DD was home schooling she and I sat together which was rather lovely. I miss the company of colleagues but DH and I need some space from each other.

I'm so glad I'm not alone I'm this. Our spare room has always been my business space and since dp has worked from home, he's taken over and I hate having to share it. Constantly getting kicked out when he's on video chat, I open a window he closes it etc. Im feeling so claustrophobic and frustrated sharing a room to work in. I cant relax or concentrate when he's in there because everything about him being there annoys me 😂

We work in separate rooms - even though we work for the same company! He’s higher up than I am and he’s on conference calls a lot with management, clients etc whereas I’m often on the phone to actual customer. So obviously we wouldn’t want a customer to accidentally overhear business talk!! But when we aren’t on calls, as we are in adjoining rooms with a door in between, we keep the door open so we can call between each other. It’s close enough that we can have a chat if we aren’t busy, but if one of us gets a call the other one shuts the door for them. And sometimes we’ll just shut it because we can’t concentrate and want quiet. It works quite nicely. If he wasn’t in the same company though I would have to have the door closed all the time because of my contact.

*contract ^