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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask those who WFH with a partner who also WFH if you have separate offices/spaces?

169 replies

HairyHocks · 16/05/2021 21:01

DH and I have both been WFH for the last year and it's not obvious when either of us will be back in the office.

I've always had my own office in the past, and have struggled not being able to talk to myself, wander about when on the phone, and even just be quiet/still to think.

DH has always been in open plan offices and enjoys the company. He genuinely can't comprehend that I'd like my own space, and he takes it a bit personally.

We have a room that could be turned into a second study without it being a great loss.

Out of interest, how common is it to work in separate rooms?

YABU - partner and I work in the same room without wanting to work separately

YANBU - partner and I work in different rooms of the house (or absolutely would work in a separate room if one was available).

OP posts:
Georgeatemyhat · 16/05/2021 21:14

I work in the kitchen, DH has fold out desk in our lounge. Couldn't work together, work is work, think it's good to keep separate, plus both our work is dealing with vulnerable clients so sensitive and need confidential, quiet spaces.

Nice to get together at lunchtime or chat while making a cuppa though

Original poster
HairyHocks · 16/05/2021 21:15

Silly question, but will he be terribly lonely on his own? I prefer my space and can't comprehend wanting to be glued to someone all day but DH but he seems to be genuinely happier when he's in a shared office. I'd hate to think it makes him very unhappy. Confused

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 16/05/2021 21:16

We have separate offices, his downstairs, mine upstairs. If our office doors are open, the other one is welcome to pop in for a chat but if the door is shut its pretty much do not disturb. Both of us need space and quiet to concentrate

Mugsen · 16/05/2021 21:17

We move around for zoom but sit together in the kitchen at other times. You can't do competing zooms meetings we've found.

BeanCalledPickle · 16/05/2021 21:17

We worked on opposite ends of the dining room table for the first four months. I have literally no idea why we thought this was a good idea. None whatsoever. In September I bought a collapsible desk and moved into the front room. I have literally never collapsed it. I have since rearranged the front room around my desk and built myself a little office. My marriage is better for it!!

What’s so irritating is that, had we known, we would have set the house up completely differently. And actually probably wouldn’t be living here, bought specifically for London access which we haven’t needed and looks like we won’t be needing in the same way ever again

nevercannevercanever · 16/05/2021 21:17

YANBU we work in separate spaces. I work in the house and he works in a shed converted into an office in the garden.

HeartZone · 16/05/2021 21:18

Sockets!

Even with a room each, there are not enough power sockets for screens, laptop, printer, etc can’t imagine how this would even work if we shared a room, not wanting the expense of an electrician!

Camomila · 16/05/2021 21:19

We have separate spaces - I have a desk in DS1s room and DH has a desk in the living room. Sometimes I take my laptop and work at the coffee table for variety - depends if I have calls to make or not.

Glittertwins · 16/05/2021 21:20

We put a desk into the small room the DCs have their tv/Xbox and got a huge monitor. We swap who works where on a weekly basis but the DCs prefer me being in "their" room as I start and finish earlier so they can have it back when they get home.

Workingfromhomeishell · 16/05/2021 21:21

Can anyone who shares a space tell me how it works with business and client confidentiality etc? What have your companies done to assess / mitigate this?

Tippexy · 16/05/2021 21:21

@Hopdathelf

Always totally separate. We both (different industries) had to sign agreements to work in rooms alone for business confidentiality reasons.
I always think this is so weird. Don’t you and your DH trust each other?!
headintheproverbial · 16/05/2021 21:22

Separate. Neither of us could get anything done listening to constant calls and meetings of the other. Open plan with a gentle background hum of activity is quite different to close quarters with just one other! Meet for morning / afternoon coffee breaks and lunch?

BackforGood · 16/05/2021 21:22

I realise not everyone is lucky enough to have the space to have a comfortable set up in separate rooms, but if we didn't then we'd take turns balancing a laptop on our bed, or even in the bathroom. We couldn't possibly work in the same room. Too many phone calls / Teams / Zoom (other platforms are available). At various times we can both be presenting (training etc) and at various times either of us could be dealing with confidential information. Obviously of course the times when we need to be speaking out loud could clash.

Then just concentrating sometimes.

Workingfromhomeishell · 16/05/2021 21:24

@Tippexy

It's not about how YOU feel about your partner

Your partner is not employed/ vetted or legally covered by your company. That's a HUGE issue for business

idontlikealdi · 16/05/2021 21:27

@Tippexy it's about a business / contractual confidentiality when many could have been through layers of security clearance. Nothing to do with trusting your partner.

MyDogIsDrivingMeMad · 16/05/2021 21:27

I'd explain that it's nothing personal against him. If he persists in taking it as an insult, that's his problem.

As a compromise, I'd suggest that you work in separate rooms, but plan to see one another periodically during the workday (not just at the midday meal). Have a set time for a daily break together, have a coffee/tea/water together, or just wander over every so often to see how the other is doing. Essentially, keep things friendly and don't have a "none may enter" attitude, unless someone's on a call.

HalzTangz · 16/05/2021 21:28

Yes we have separate spaces,my office is in the lounge and his is in the bedroom. I work in the office on Fridays, he does a week at home a week in the office.
We stay out of each others work spaces during working hours

Di11y · 16/05/2021 21:28

We each put a desk in a child's bedroom. I work school hours so they have eldest's room to play in after school. We've moved the kitchen to accommodate an office space and although we could fit both of us I'm keeping my desk in the bedroom as I have quite a few zoom calls and DH likes background music etc when I don't.

Workingfromhomeishell · 16/05/2021 21:31

I'm just absolutely gobsmacked companies are ok with people working in the same room as others who aren't employed by them.

What an absolute joke!

FoxtrotSkarloey · 16/05/2021 21:32

Prior to my mat leave, DH and I had the best of both - each working in separate rooms so we could close the door for calls (he is SO loud!) but as our house isn't very big, just across the landing so it didn't feel lonely.

I would have hated to have worked alone from home all this time.

The room I had is now DC's bedroom, so not sure what will happen when I return to work!

CovidCorvid · 16/05/2021 21:33

I have to have a separate office. We both wfh and are both in teams meetings most of the day. I’m a uni lecturer so I’m also teaching online. I also get students teams calling me with really personal stuff and it wouldn’t be appropriate for dh to hear.

Sadly he’s nabbed the spare room. I’m in the kitchen diner. Lectures can be a nightmare, the postman delivers a parcel, the dog barks, dh comes into the kitchen bit and switches the noisy kettle in and the students can’t hear me......

I’ve just spent 6k on a garden office and it can’t come fast enough.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 16/05/2021 21:33

We work in the same room, it was our shared office before I started working from home where we would chill together in the evenings playing computer games.

If we both have video calls one of us will go in the living room or kitchen (usually my partner as he has a laptop while I have a desktop).

It's nice tbh, but then its a space that we were both comfortable in before the whole wfh thing for me (my partner has always worked from home). I've always worked in open plan offices so sharing with just one other person is much less distracting!

I've struggled a lot more with trying to relax in the evenings, if I chill at my computer then I'm literally sat here all day and I don't like that. I've been watching a lot more TV!

Lipsandlashes · 16/05/2021 21:38

@Workingfromhomeishell

I'm just absolutely gobsmacked companies are ok with people working in the same room as others who aren't employed by them.

What an absolute joke!

Really? And what would you do with people ordered to work from home, living with others also ordered to WFH - with limited space? I don’t think those companies were in any position to make raft kind of fuss
Lipsandlashes · 16/05/2021 21:40

Any not raft

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 16/05/2021 21:45

I’m a lecturer so teaching live on video calls about 60% of the day - definitely separate rooms! I’m at the kitchen table, DP is in the spare room. The cat flits between us. We always eat lunch together though.

It looks like DP might be in the office a bit from next month and it will be very strange to have the house to myself.