To wonder what other parents do with their kids all day

[Frolickingfoam]

It's been raining non stop. We don't live near family. We don't have childcare help. Got two under 3.5 who wake up at 6am, and one doesn't nap at all.

Genuinely what do other people do with their kids all day? We do try to limit tv but just do not have the mental emotional or physical energy to entertain or play with them all day. If I put out an activity they might engage with it for 10 minutes, max. The hours drag on. There's only so many stories I can read/they are interested in. They play together for a bit but then it descends into fighting.

I feel like a terrible parent for hiding in the loo just so I don't have to engage with them for a minute. I give them far too many snacks because it's something to do. Am I missing some kind of amazing parenting trick? How do other people stay sane? Helllppp

It's for everyone, but I find a basic timetable really helped, just to break the time down into blocks so it doesn't feel like such a long day.

Get them out every day, wherever possible. Even a trip to the shops can kill some time and be fun for them. The key is to not attempt any actual shopping, but make the trip entirely about them. If they respond well to bribery you can say if they play nicely for X amount of time then you will take them to the shop and they can choose anything they want for snacktime. You then hopefully get X amount of time of nice playing, plus time to get everyone's shoes/coats on, travel time, time in the shop, time to get home, time to eat the chosen snack. It can really kill some time! Other alternatives, are to poundland to choose a card/present for Grandma or to The Works to choose a craft activity for this afternoon etc. Or make an easy shopping list and just let them pick the stuff of the shelves, if it's quiet let them scan the shopping too.

I also find it's better to do your top parenting in the morning and then you can have an easy afternoon (play by themselves/watch TV) without feeling bad about it. There's nothing worse than ruining your own down time by feeling guilty!

Kids are 4 and 7.

Today we've :

Watched TV
Played in playroom
Skate park and outdoor climb wall
Library
Potions in the garden

BUT it's been glorious weather and the kids are older so it's easier in general.

When my two were smaller we'd go to shopping malls if they were rampant and it was raining - tougher now though with covid.

made necklaces by threading pasta or cheerios

^

LOVE this! Can I steal?

Also, we dusted this weekend. The kids love it. Especially skirting boards!

Tape glows tick's to their limbs.

Turn the lights off and film them dancing and playing musical statues. Hours of fun.

It's really hard. Ideas - cosmic kids on YouTube, it's yoga for kids and mine (2 and 4.5) follow it for twenty mins at a time. Also go noodle kids dance videos. It's telly but active so you feel better! Do you have outside space? Try planting seeds, looking for bugs, putting cars down a plank ramp. Make a junk box of food packaging for crafting. Have a stash of sticker books for emergencies. We got a disco light in early lockdown and it's great for exercise when you can't get out easily!

Put a list on the fridge where you can see it

See if they can help you do jobs (not to get anything done but to keep them busy) and then if you sneak in a little housework then its even better.

Folding laundry (playing peakaboo and climbing in and out of the washing basket)

Cleaning the kitchen (messing around with a dustpan and brush)

Making dinner (squishing something in their fingers while strapped into a high chair)

Loading the dishwasher (pulling plastic tubs out of a cupboard)

Then you can always do water play in the bath

Having the list up on the fridge means you are less likely to forget you have a list of options

I always did quiet time after lunch for my non nappers. In their beds with some books or quiet toys, only allowed out if bleeding or vomitting. That meant I still got the blissful hour to myself to recharge and face the afternoon.

If you can save the tv for 4pm until dinner is on the table. Its the witching hour and all dc turn into whine monsters

I say this a lot. I play with my kids sometimes. On rainy days like this, I plan 3-4 things. Reading, some play dough, maybe some painting, a simple board game or two. And that’s it. They have a house full of toys. I let them entertain themselves. There is fighting. There is whinging. But if you let them be, and really really let them be, eventually they will become creative (as long as the toys are accessible) and learn to play on their own.
Somehow we have convinced ourselves that we have to be round the clock entertainers for our children. We don’t. As long as engage them, chat to them, play with them occasionally and read to them regularly and teach them kindness and manners, they will be FINE.
Just power through the ‘I am bored’ whining and let them be. A little bit of benign neglect can spark quite a lot of creativity.

This time will pass. Mine are 18 and 30. I don't even remember this stuff.

We have an old greenhouse containing a baby bath full of soil. DS will dig in it for hours, with a few pots and trucks and different tools and some animal figures. We often dig in the greenhouse even if it’s raining outside. I drink a cuppa and listen to my podcast, if the rain stops we potter round outside a bit.

@Happycat1212

I’m a single mum to 4, I refuse to drag mine out when it’s pouring down just for the sake of it, none of them want to go and I really don’t believe that many people actually do take their kids out every day even in the pissing rain because the few times I have taken them to the play park in the rain it’s been completely empty and we are the only ones there. We baked cookies today and watched a film.

Ha ha I agree. Are you in Scotland? I reckon that a lot of these “puddle splashers” are in England and have no idea what real rain is

We always did a lot of cooking, and we had waterproofs as he became unbearable if we didn't go out. I had a certain affection for bedmaking - that took a while. But it's so different because I used to go and see people, a lot.

Tbh I used to mentally break up the day into 30 minute blocks at a time. 6am to ?7pm =26 blocks. Bath was 1 block. Eating 3 blocks max. It was pretty tough, and there was no pandemic. I would only say that at this age, it's so much about the process. They will only paint for 4 minutes but in fact setting up and clearing up is part of the activity.

To feel better about the TV, there is a programme on Milkshake (channel 5) called Bop Box Boogie, in which the presenters do a song and dance and break it down to teach the children the moves. So it’s watching TV but it’s active. There are about 20 of them and you can just leave it on auto play. The songs are sort of educational too.

I feel the same way about the days and if we are at home it becomes all about TV for my eldest. So we plan at least 1 outing each day (park, playgym, sports club, playgroup), sometimes 2 if they are both short outings (walk in the morning, park after the school run). I try to think of 1 other activity to do with them too (craft, dancing, reading a book - that kind of thing). I feel like that’s all 1 person can realistically handle on top of all their other needs you will be attending too so it’s tv on for the rest of the day then.

YouTube drawing tutorials. Brilliant. Dd2 has drawn wonderful pictures using these tutorials.
Dd1 is a preteen and would rather do tiktoks.
She doesn't have tiktok though, she just pretends 🤦🏻‍♀️

@OhTheIronyOfItAll

ADHD/ASD child who used to sleep so little and never nap in the day. We used to put waterproofs and wellies on and go out for woodland walks to try to wear him out, we would make shelters in the wood and have picnics. We were out everyday no matter what the weather.

Baking
Playing toy cars
Painting
Constantly on the go, it was exhausting!

All these (ASD too).

Painting indoors with LOs was quite fun. I bought a big plastic sheet and let them walk in tubs of paint and do footprints all over it, they loved that. Better outdoors though.....

Buy a big bag of air drying clay (Can get these online, 5kg or whatever) - hours of fun.

Kinetic sand - it's brilliant!

Baking - pancakes are the best as they are quick (and kids love breaking eggs!). If you put them into a cold small pan children can even try flipping them.

And yes to TV, its a godsend!

@81Byerley

Also, take them out in the rain! Wellies and waterproofs are your friends. This is my grandson aged 3, wearing goggles that were given to him to protect his eyes during a Forest Schools activity. He decided to use them to look in puddles.

Fab! All toddlers should be like that....!

Don't feel guilty about tv time, I just completed an assessment for university on the impact of digital devices on children. Longitudinal studies showed positive impacts on children's ongoing learning abilities and willingness to learn who watched educational programmes, especially age 2 to 4 who were retested years later 😊

I have 2 toddlers myself so totally sympathise!!

The only way I can cope is meeting other mums so the kids play while we chat. Time passes quickly and you realise you’re not the only one bored and frustrated by your kids endless demands! And if you know each other well you can tell each other’s off when they act up (they listen better when it’s not mum saying stop climbing over the bench/kicking/yelling!)

I havent read all the replies so sorry if this has been said, but don't be afraid to let kids get closed sometimes! You are an adult in your own right. When my son moans about being bored, I tell him, good. You can find something to do then, and it's good to be bored sometimes.

You are not a walking, talking entertainment station.

Let kids get bored, believe me, they ALWAYS find something to do!

*bored not closed!

Wellies and puddlesuits on for a walk or some time in the garden.
Painting/drawing/colouring books.
Baking.
Reading actual books.
No issue with the TV either, it won’t harm them.

If mine complained about being bored, I used to say "you're not bored, you're tired" and told them they must need a nap" they soon learned to find something to do.

What would you like to do? Just do it! You don't have to entertain them 24/7.

Baking is good- even if it's just one of the cupcake box mixes from the supermarket, they often do them in popular characters (we did a frozen one yesterday) or Rice Krispie or cornflake buns! They faff of tidying up the mess makes the day go quicker too

Yoghurt lollies- eBay does lollipop sticks, mixed Greek yoghurt with a little food colouring, add sprinkles, freeze for an hour or so.

Painting / drawing on scrap paper

Lots of TV!! Find nursery rhymes and watch them together while singing along because that helps rather than just everyone staring blankly at it. "Steve and Maggie" is good because it's entertaining and somewhat educational!

Pouring / scooping- mix water with food colouring, give them jugs and pots etc, they will enjoy that. Or similar but with dried beans or lentils!

It's ok to find playing with your DC boring - most parents do! Adults aren't supposed to play and it really wasn't expected of them until recent years.

I have a 3.5yo and an almost 5. It gets considerably easier after 4 IME. Covid hasn't helped. We went from hardly any screen time to masses and masses of it this past year. Needs must!

Precovid I used to be great at playing with them and being engaged but honestly I got so bored of it during lockdown, I reached my limit and I simply can't sustain it anymore. There's just too many hours in the day to fill and I'm so so done with the early years stage. So now I outsource a lot of it.

I put them in preschool during the week, I pay for extra time so they are there from 9-2. That makes the day so much easier for all of us as they spend lots of time outdoors in the preschool (so I don't have to trudge in the rain with them after school) and they get plenty of craft type stuff to do (again so I don't have to scavenge around my uncreative brain for ideas!)

The house gets less messy, screen time is minimised, the evening has the perfect amount of hours to fill and goes quick and as a result and I have the energy and will to properly engage with them again.

I fill saturdays with ballet (to force us out of pjs and out the door) picnics in the park, trips to new places etc. and so Sunday we can laze about guilt free, watching tv for a few hours, building towers, drawing, puzzles, playing in the garden, they potter as I clean. When your youngest gets a little older they'll start playing together and you'll get to reduce your input. Just trudge through as best you can for now and things will get easier!