To wonder what other parents do with their kids all day

[Frolickingfoam]

It's been raining non stop. We don't live near family. We don't have childcare help. Got two under 3.5 who wake up at 6am, and one doesn't nap at all.

Genuinely what do other people do with their kids all day? We do try to limit tv but just do not have the mental emotional or physical energy to entertain or play with them all day. If I put out an activity they might engage with it for 10 minutes, max. The hours drag on. There's only so many stories I can read/they are interested in. They play together for a bit but then it descends into fighting.

I feel like a terrible parent for hiding in the loo just so I don't have to engage with them for a minute. I give them far too many snacks because it's something to do. Am I missing some kind of amazing parenting trick? How do other people stay sane? Helllppp

Saturday's we like to go to the library and the childrens cards allow you to borrow 30 books so we pick up at least 20. We walk to town and back so that's 2-3 hours out. Saturday afternoon and Sunday we read the books - they're all 'new' so it's more interesting, we order them in to the library so there is a good rotation.

Other stuff includes horrendously dull dog walks, playing in the garden (which requires no input from me so I stand with a warm coat, a hot mug of tea and my phone).

I might stick Alexa on toddler songs and do 20 mins of action songs

I try to avoid stuff like play doh but do resort to it at a push.

I sympathize though as we also have no support network and the weekends can seem endless. I feel bad for wanting Monday to roll around for a break when DC are in school and nursery.

There is a lot to be said for tag team parenting. My DH will disappear for hours in the loo, but when I'm fed up I'll just call him down and then I'll go for a shower and potter upstairs for an hour until he gets fed up. It helps take the pressure off.

Last week my nearly 3 year old spent an hour or so playing with wool and some pegs, stringing it up between different things in her room making a climbing frame for her monkeys. Minimum engagement from me.

I got 3 hours out of making a zoo in lockdown. I parked him in front of the TV while I set up, each room was a different environment like aquarium in the bathroom (plastic fish in the bath to scoop), North America (all the teddies round a blue towel “river” with duvet mountains, we cut out some fish for them to catch), safari (lions etc and a crocodile river to cross floor is lava style). Some days I’ll make a zoo, some days we watch 3 films back to back and eat junk

Mines 4, on rainy days she watches tv, sometimes lots! plays games on her kindle or plays maths games on my husbands tablet, she'll do writing or maths workbooks, have tea parties with her teddies, play with her barbies, colour/draw pictures.
When it's dry though we do make sure she has a walk or goes to the park.
We're really not crafty or good at baking, we do play board games with her if she asks us to but mostly she plays independently now

My youngest is 2... I refuse to stay in all day as the time stands still so today was waterproofs and wellies to go to an outdoor play park for a dinosaur hunt...
Through the week we have also done beach, woods, rock pooling and swimming.

Once we have been out he will happily have a snack, nap, colour in, watch some kids TV or with cars/little land play kind of things...

I'm not a board game and crafts kind of Mum but try if need be... I and he much prefer being out hunting for sticks, stones and puddles.

I make sure every day I'm off with him includes an outdoor activity so I don't go round the bend.

It can be so intense when they’re so little. Especially if you’re not feeling well! Some things that worked for me on days like that:

Take the couch cushions off and dump them on the floor and leave the kids to it. They’d make dens or obstacle courses or weird games that I couldn’t understand.

Water! A bath with toys that they don’t usually take in the bath (duplo, cars, cups, anything made of plastic basically) or giving them a basin of warm soapy water to wash some dishes or toys in. The basin has the added bonus of the kitchen floor being clean by the time they’ve finished splashing water everywhere.

Baking. Or if you can’t be arsed, buy some digestive biscuits, icing pens and smarties and let them decorate the biscuits.

Putting things in to other things. Dried pasta in a bowl with an empty bowl and a spoon. A big box, some blankets and a toddler. They’ll arrange all of these things as they see fit. They may arrange them into a mess.

They do get older and less reliant on you and you’ll remember all the lovely times more than you remember the boring wet weekends (boring wet weekends that EVERYONE definitely has!)

We went to the local snow dome to watch other people ski and snowboard

There’s some great threads called trapped toddler parents with lots of ideas and solidarity.

My 3.5yo likes giving his dinosaurs a bath. Takes over an hour!

When my dds were this age we lived in Oz. Peppy Pig saved my life

I only have one child who is 15 months, but also look after my 3.5 year old nephew a couple of days a week. I have 100% felt like you do. And I'm sure I will again. For now, it is going okay. I'm also rubbish at doing tuff trays/sensory activities/crafty stuff, so just do what feels manageable for me.

We have a schedule that we stick to.
AM

• Books or TV or independent play
• Breakfast
• Outside for the morning, usually we walk to the playground or nature reserve, snack while we are out
• Home, get dry/clean/changed, quick lunch
• Play "what's in the box" (I fill a random box or tub with a different filling each evening and they enjoy opening it and playing with what's inside. It takes my 15 month old ages to actually get the box open, 3.5 year old plays more with what is inside - sometimes the filling is something like bouncy balls or shredded paper, or feathers or bean bags or even a toy or something, literally anything). While I have a cup of tea.
• TV on for 3.5 year old, DS Nap.
• Snack, toys/books
• Back out for the afternoon. Usually go somewhere by car now we can. Sometimes another playground, NT, errands if something needs to be done, farm, other activity, etc. Other days we'll do an afternoon bath - themed baths are fun; glow sticks, ice lollies, or another at home activity like building dens inside or out (a fav here), baking (tedious for me but 3.5 yo loves it), etc
• Home, prep dinner. Both boys help me with dinner or play with kitchen things. Listen to music. Sometimes they play in the garden while I cook
• Dinner, bath, PJs and books.

We follow the same structure each day. It helps me.

I home educate. So I’m with my children 24/7 for more than 10 years.

I play games. We do schooling. We go round friends houses. We go outside A LOT! We’re always out climbing trees. Or roller skating. We go to the zoo. We go to parks. We go to the beach. We sometimes go for drives. We see family. We make things. We cook. Play doh. Slime. Cakes. Cookies.

We read. We laugh. We watch tv. We play Roblox. Myself included. My kids are really good at being able to entertain themselves. Have done ever since they were little. They make forts. Beds. Play dolls.

The list goes on

When I'm particularly overwhelmed I resort to making a timetable so it's just hour by hour you have to fill. I have games and activities in different categories in my head so we have stuff at the table, on the floor outside etc. and if they get bored after 5 mins I try think of activities with different stages, so we get out a jug and make different coloured water and fill ice cube trays. And then they're ready to play for the next day.

Or a picnic even indoors requires loads of planning. We need to make a list of what we need. Find it. Pack it. Unpack it. Eat the snack. And suddenly a 10 min snack takes 45 mins. Or we plan walks for tomorrow, and make maps. I find after engaging with them like that then buys me time.

Sometimes we make her go out, but it's easier to wait until she's got cabin fever and chooses to go out.

Today I tried to take her to Decathlon for 'fun'. Ha. She wouldn't go.

So, she watched TV for a few hours this morning, then did a bit of cooking, then some drawing, then she watched a film with her dad, then we turned the TV off completely, she danced in her room, played with lego, did some writing, made herself some toast, more drawing, made a mess right at the bottom of the stairs with Barbies.

But during lockdown proper back in Jan and Feb, she mostly watched a LOT of telly. Ah well.

@pepsicolagirl

My daughters favourite game when she was 6 was cinderella. I was the wicked stepmother and she had to tidy what I told her to. Excellent game 9/10

I may try this..sounds a great game!

pepsicolagirl you are my hero. I never would have thought of that.

Lego
Puzzles
Books
TV
Walk
Colouring
Glueing
Toys
Rinse and repeat 😉

Out each morning - park, walk whatever. Then you can be relaxed about tv in the afternoon because you’ve been out.

The old ideas have survived because they really do work. E.g. drawing hopscotch on the pavement. And take the cues from them. So it starts with hopscotch and could end up being arrows on your walking route like a secret mission.

@pepsicolagirl

My daughters favourite game when she was 6 was cinderella. I was the wicked stepmother and she had to tidy what I told her to. Excellent game 9/10

This is genius. A++ would read this comment again.

Make a camp out of sofa cushions 🙂

Are you by yourself? Honestly we find at the weekend if we don’t go out we just tend to take it in turns minding the kids (3 under 4) while the other one does their own thing. So I might have a bath and read for a bit upstairs while DH looks after them then we swap and he does some weights and then swap again and I do some jobs etc etc. Obviously it means we don’t get much time together as a family on those days but it gets us through the day.

Also don’t worry that you don’t play with them, that’s what siblings are for! They’ll get better at it together hopefully soon

Make toast with them, make a cake
Colouring in
Take them out to play on the rain, then a bathe , then a drink.. that’ll waste some time

Timetable! Everything's bearable in half hour segments.

Also seconding the advice for long baths. You can't be too clean (especially if you take the other advice to roll around in puddlesuits outside first).

Disco bath? Get some of those safe for children glow stick things, Chuck them in the bath water, lights out, disco music on, we had a silver ball thing that turns round and lights up

Mine weirdly also really enjoyed washing up.

There’s also a fab book with cloud paints, slimes all sorts in it, will find a link. I found 30 mins activity then 30 mins sat down attempting to drink tea/read just about kept me sane

www.amazon.co.uk/150-Screen-Free-Activities-Kids-FunAtHomeWithKids-com-ebook/dp/B01N7WFP1Q/ref=sr_1_35?dchild=1&keywords=No+screen+activity+book&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1621200474&sr=8-35

This book was great.

Not so much use in the last year, but we have always kept Saturday mornings pretty busy with swimming, dance, gym or something. The kids thrive on the routine and it tires them out a bit without using all my energy. We also have other routines like treat food for Sat lunch, pancakes breakfasts sometimes on Sundays, no TV before lunch so they don't whine for it. Season tickets for some sort of gardens or petting farm are good too. You can just pop in for an hour which works much better than buying day tickets and feeling you must try and see everything.

Also Kids AM films at the cinema hopefully will be back soon.

Tag team if you can. It does get easier.