2 years into our mortgage and im fed up! Does it end?

[Asia98]

I feel lucky that I have managed to purchase my dream house. However, 2 years in of paying, I am dreading another 13 years of this! I miss our previous luxuries. Does it end? does it get better??

Oh poor you, I don't know how anyone can live without pergola in their garden. And the mortgage for 13 years? That's atrocious. You have my sympathies, OP

Does it end?

I’m confused. You agreed a contract with a clear end date. So yes it does end.

You weren't happy renting in your country of residence and now you aren't happy with a mortgage there.

I get the impression you moved there on impulse because salaries were much higher than you can get in the UK but are now coming to terms with the reality that salaries have to be higher because the cost of living is so much higher.

You seem to be looking for a relatively secure western lifestyle in an insecure developing country and are finding out the hard way that that isn't possible. Paying very little tax equates to very little in the way of services.

I would be interested to know if properties hold their value where you are. In the UK it's worth struggling to pay a mortgage for the first few years because (historically) the property will increase in value so it becomes a financial asset as well as a home. A mortgage here equates to savings/pension as well as rent. Is the same true where you are?

@Asia98
DH company will be paying DSs school fee (they have a contract with a private school for all employers children from ages 4-19) which will save us the nannies fees in 2 years time

You have partly answered your own question with this absolutely critical bit of information: in just 2 years it will get a lot better financially if you don't need the full-time nanny after that!

After that you will have an extra 3k per month (or most of that 3k in case you still need a part time nanny). You can use extra money that to overpay your mortgage if that is allowed and financially sensible, or to have a few more current luxuries, or a bit of both.

However, I have not RTFT but I cannot help but agree with some PPs who pointed out that raising a male child in what sounds like a misogynistic country, you will not be able to avoid some internalisation by him of that misogyny. So it sounds to me as though it would make sense to be very actively giving him experiences to try to mitigate that, but also more importantly developing an exit strategy from the country.

I think your post is a little done deaf OP, given the number of people who have been screwed financially from Covid and are now desperately wondering how to feed and house their children.

Right now I want to do a pergola in garden yet its going to take a few months to raise the money!

Oh that’s so sad. could you do a go fund me? People really should have pergolas as soon as they want them. It barbaric that anyone has to save for a few months for something so essential.

@UhtredRagnarson

Are your diamond shoes also too tight?

@UnforgottenPunk

I think your post is a little done deaf OP, given the number of people who have been screwed financially from Covid and are now desperately wondering how to feed and house their children.

She’s got her own issues from Covid like everyone else. She’s hardly Bill Gates.

On a public forum everyone has the right to share their issues regardless of their circumstances.

[quote YankeeDad]@Asia98
DH company will be paying DSs school fee (they have a contract with a private school for all employers children from ages 4-19) which will save us the nannies fees in 2 years time

You have partly answered your own question with this absolutely critical bit of information: in just 2 years it will get a lot better financially if you don't need the full-time nanny after that!

After that you will have an extra 3k per month (or most of that 3k in case you still need a part time nanny). You can use extra money that to overpay your mortgage if that is allowed and financially sensible, or to have a few more current luxuries, or a bit of both.

However, I have not RTFT but I cannot help but agree with some PPs who pointed out that raising a male child in what sounds like a misogynistic country, you will not be able to avoid some internalisation by him of that misogyny. So it sounds to me as though it would make sense to be very actively giving him experiences to try to mitigate that, but also more importantly developing an exit strategy from the country.[/quote]
What country isn’t misogynistic?

@Asia98 Would it be feasible to move house to closer to the workplace of either of you? If you remortgage to a 20 year term for a smaller, less expensive property there, that will lower the mortgage and be cheaper in terms of commuting. The saving of nursery over nanny might be small but over the two years your DS will need it, you will save a bit there as well.

It wouldn't be my first choice of location, but I suppose it's possible to make the most of it.

I don’t have any advice re the mortgage; don’t know what you can do to lessen the strain until after Covid and more work possibilities.

Just wanted to log my guess: Oman?

Btw, I also bought as an expat in a very different housing market and that’s what ultimately bought my house in the UK. Not sure aibu is best for this thread.

What country isn’t misogynistic?

Not many but some are far worse than others!

This thread is such a humble brag.

"Omg, when will my mortgage with 13 years left on it end"

13 years? Jesus, talk about needing to check your privilege.

My DH and I are counting ourselves very fortunate that we’re hopefully on the cusp of being able to get on the ladder. Do you know how long our mortgage term is set to be? Thirty. Five. Years.

YABVU.

You'd be far better off in an expat forum OP. You just won't get many sensible answers here. In your shoes I'd stick it out. Your income will go up lots once your son goes to school.

I don't understand this thread. If you miss the luxuries you could afford before you had a mortgage then thank your lucky stars you aren't having to pay rent forever instead. Unless you are in a council house, mortgages are almost always cheaper.

Short of going home to be kept by Mummy and Daddy for free, the days of having all of your income as disposable are gone. Welcome to adulthood.

@VestaTilley 35 years!!! Jesus, is that normal these days or just if you live somewhere crazy expensive?

Count down to when he starts school then if fees are covered. I think having kids this age is the hardest hit financially for any parent without family help. I'm just getting past it now with my youngest in school.

@pollylocketpickedapocket
What country isn’t misogynistic?

Fair point. Themyscira, but I guess that does not count. Maybe Sweden?

I should have written "particularly misogynistic".

I'm a bit speechless at this. Myself and my husband rent. £800 a month to line someone elses pocket. No long term security. No way of saving a deposit due to relatively low wages. The only time we will ever be fortunate enough to get any substantial deposit amount is when my parents die, and my sis and I split their bungalow when it's sold. I'd rather have my parents alive frankly. I'm 38, husband is 42. We will never own.
Count yourself very, very lucky.

@SicParvisMagna definitely agree. You have summed it up well.

@TatianaBis - having to save a few months for a pergola? Give over!

@Kendodd

Dying to know where you are op. I guess one of the stans?

Qatar, Abu Dhabi, Dubai, shes in that area somewhere. My money is on qatar

I admit I hadn't trft when I posted but even having done so, I am still lacking in sympathy. I understand what it's like to forgo luxuries, to feel like you do nothing but toil and pay the bills. But honestly? You will be mortgage free, in a wealthy country, in 13 years. I assume due to the things the op has said that she is relatively young meaning she could potentially be mortgage free in her 40s/50s. By then no childcare to pay, no mortgage to contend with. And a dream house at the end of it. You will have a life times worth of lovely holidays and meals out to look forward to, and the security of never being turfed out of your home.
However many of us will never ever have that, so I'll be honest, it's hard to be sympathetic. I'm not bitter, to jealous. If my husband and I were savers, and not made silly financial mistakes over the years or lived beyond our means, we would probably have owned too. But I've made peace with it now, and I've accepted that ownership is just something we will never do.
However reading this post to me, is the equivalent of a rich socialite complaining about getting a speck of mud on her shoes as she steps out of her private car while a homeless person sleeps in the doorway nearby. It's just a bit tone deaf is all.

[quote UnforgottenPunk]@TatianaBis - having to save a few months for a pergola? Give over! [/quote]
If it’s not your thing scroll on.