To not want my DS to have his name shortened?

[Saibuter]

I've namechanged as this will be outing. My son is 5 months, his name is Lucas. He was born a few weeks before we went back into lockdown so he didn't meet any family apart from my mum (I live with her) and my partners mum (he was living with her but now he's moved in with me to do more with DS).

Last weekend, he met my some of my partners family and they kept shortening his name and were calling him Luke and 'Lukey' we don't want his name shortened as a baby, obviously when he's a child he can decide for himself. A few of my family members have also called him Luke.

WIBU to tell them to call him his proper name or will it seem like I'm overreacting?

I have a lucas. If anyone called him luke I'd tell them that's not his name. Because it's not

Why are so many people saying they're totally different names? Lucas is just Luke with an "as" on the end, surely?

And I'm pretty sure Luke is derived from Lucas, anyway.

I think all you can do is request that they don't shorten it, and continue to use Lucas around them.

Also, as he gets bigger, he'll make his preference known as well, and young children don't have any tact, so he'll just tell them that that's not his name and be confused as to why they are using it.

My cousin was called Rose, and her parents were clear that they didn't like it being turned into Rosie. We just respected that, and now can't see her as anything other than Rose. So sometimes being direct can work fine.

One of my dc has a long name. Dd corrects anyone who uses the shortened version.
As she should if she wants to.

Friend called Lucas but gets called Ade 😁 so could be worse op

He is your baby but the relationship between him and his father's family is personal to him and them. If they want to call him Lukey and he isn't upset by it they can carry on.

I think you are fighting a losing battle. People will use the short version. Luke is a version of Lucas and is the first syllable. You can call him by the full name but others will use the short version. My son is called the short version of his name by everyone.

It’s two forms of the same name and you have called him the non-English one so while I wouldn’t call a Lucas Luke, it’s inevitable that people do.
If you have another diminutive you prefer, say “Oh, we call him Lu for short”.

I know many boys named Lucas and never heard it shortened to Luke. As others have said they are separate names. Lukie is a bit different as it's an affectionate pet name rather than a shortening and I have heard it used plenty. I'd be correcting Luke every time though

I’ve got Gilmore Girls on in the background and they keep saying ‘Luke’ as I’m reading this thread

I know plenty of people called Lucas or who have a son by that name and it’s generally shortened to Luke. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, but he’ll probably end up with the shortened version in a few years anyway.

I’ve been Jess since I was about 9 and the only person who calls me Jessica is my granny. My parents, boss, colleagues, students, friends, DH all call me Jess.

I should have added that very often people who meet me for the first time ask ‘is it Jess or Jessica?’ without hearing anyone call me by a shortened version, so most people shorten (or at least check first!)

I never allowed anyone to shorten my DD's name, it's 2 syllables how difficult is it to say a 2 syllable name? DD is an adult now and refuses to acknowledge anyone who calls her anything other than her full first name, she hates the "short" version as much as I do.

YANBU unreasonable to call him by his full name yourself and ask relatives to do the same, although I'd allow 'Lukey'. When he gets older his friends could end up calling him anything. Nicknames often bear no relation to the given name.

My sister gave her son a really short name that couldn’t be shortened. People lengthen his name.

MIL claimed she was really against shortening names when we do it to DD but shortens OH’s name all the time. We shorten DD’s name now to piss MIL off when she is being annoying.

In the scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.

I have a 6 year old with a very short-able think "Samantha"... however he was adamant as a toddler that his full name was used... not "sam" and basically ignored anyone who tried to shorten as I think generally didn't recognise it as his name.
Now he's contemplating a shortening... not that I like his choice but it's his name!

In my experience, it doesn't matter what name you pick, people will manage to either shorten it or make it longer by adding "ie" or what ever. It's not worth getting worked up about - when he goes to school friends will come up with even more variations. He will always know he is your Lucas though.

YABU, let it go. He can decide for himself whether or not he wants it to be shortened when the time comes.

You really can't control what people call your kid. You just need to get over it.

YANBU Luke is a seperate name in its own right, much like Jack/ John, Harry/ Henry.
A parent chooses their baby's name and over time external influences will develop, but in the early stages a parent can establish their name choice.

I have an "Alexander" who is always known by that at home and by family. One TA at school seems to need to shorten every child's name and "Alex" has stuck with classmates over time. He's not bothered by it so I don't challenge it, but it does sound odd to me as it's the same version of the name as the relative he was named after. I do know other children that are bothered by this habit though.

I'd would say something. I have a Victoria and that's her name, not Vicky or Vikki. I made it clear I didn't want it shortened. She's 10 now and tells people off if they try.

I’d correct them too. My daughter is called Florence and I personally don’t like “Flo” - luckily she’s a fiesty 2 year old who now announces “my name is Florence, NOT Flo” if anyone tries it.

It doesn't matter if the names are derived from the same Latin source, he's your baby and you want him to be called by his correct name.
Would people be happy if they called their baby Marcus and relatives called him Mark?

Yes, people will shorten it or even sometimes claim that you're being unreasonable to use the actual name. Just keep correcting and be assertive if need be.

Bizarrely, some people have odd ideas about certain names eg too posh, too common, too unusual and substitute something more familiar. Maybe not the case here. Just grit your teeth and keep repeating his actual name- they'll get the point (mostly) eventually.

Would people be happy if they called their baby Marcus and relatives called him Mark?

To me, that's a natural nickname, so no, it wouldn't bother me. I find it a bit odd how wound up people on here seem to get over nicknames, though!

I see it a bit like William being shortened to Will, or Stephanie being shortened to Steph. Not something to get worked up over, really. It's what happens if you use a name that's easily shortened.

Don't worry OP, my DS has that name and it's never been shortened and he's had for years! Just say it loudly near the idiots who keep shortening it a few times.

If it helps we used poopas (as in very pooey baby) for a nick name for a while which emphasises the 'as' part of his name

Doofus tends to work too