To think my 9 year old really doesn’t need a phone or whatsapp

[Urbanhymngirl]

My 9 year old came back from school yesterday saying that lots of the kids in the class have a whats app group and phones and is feeling left out! My older child was 11 before they had a phone & I was following the same pattern here- even 11 seemed too young at the time for whatsapp to be honest.

Aibu to think it’s just getting younger and younger? Or am I out of touch? My 9 year old still plays with toys and I want to let them be young for a bit longer!!

My 9 year old doesn’t have a phone, isn’t getting one and his friends don’t have phones either.

If they want to FaceTime their friends they do it on the iPad

We had all sorts of problems with a class WhatsApp group last year. One child very sensibly screen shot the offending messages and showed me.

Got parents in, who were genuinely gobsmacked to see what their children were sending. 2 families didn’t even know their children had WhatsApp on their phones - older siblings/cousins had installed it for the younger ones and shown them how to hide the icon.

The other thing that kept happening was that Child A and B fell out with Child C and swapped unkind messages about her. A and B then fell out and B posted screenshots of A’s mean comments onto the main class message group.

DD doesn't have a phone, she has a tablet but rarely uses it, she isn't into roblox, Minecraft etc and soon got fed up of video calling her friends in lock down so had no need.

Only 2 of her friends have a phone so there's no pressure, she has email on her laptop (bought for home schooling but only used now for homework) but isn't bothered about using it.

she does like watching a lot of TV but i m glad she isn't fussed about speaking to people online

I have just checked the class WhatsApp again (always do).
Today there is a cartoon video of calling someone a dumb bitch, and a picture of cartoon penis and a set of voice messages with one calling another one a day dumb cow. These kids are 10, it's depressing. Genuinely we were better off growing up without this technology.

*fat dumb cow

Please be careful with TikTok. I am DSL in school and dealt with a child of just ten years of age who had been groomed to the point of sending photos of herself in underwear. Her parents didn’t know she had TikTok. We found out when she told her friends she had a boyfriend and they told a member of school staff.

Also, several parents have told me that their child is not involved in the nasty messages only to find that they’ve deleted their side of the conversation, making it look like they’re completely innocent!

It’s a minefield! Takes up stupid amounts of teaching time too!

@birdglasspen

9 is too young. Other parents just can't say no to their children or somehow think phones, what's app etc are fine, they aren't.

Why? It helped save my 8 year olds mental health during lockdown. I was working full time she was at home all alone with me for months on end. Thanks to a phone she was able to call her best friends, her dad, her brother, and granny and grampa. Granny did lessons to support home schooling over the phone. She played games with her friends, chatted to them, watched tv together.

It was never a case of not being able to say no, but supporting my child to stay connected when she physically couldn’t be. She uses it way less now she’s allowed to see people and return to school.

They don't need one, bit I think it is pretty common to have a phone at that age. I admit my dc do. It doesn't stop them from playing with toys too.

I think at 9 it’s perfectly fine to say no, you’re too young.

Mine got a phone when they started walking up to high school.
At 9 there's absolutely no need for WhatsApp, I'm one of those "tight" mums who absolutely doesn't give a shiny shit if your mates all have it or not though.
That's on their parents parenting, nowt to do with me!
The longer you can stave off social media the better, this coming from someone who uses it a lot.