To not be in bed when DH wakes up?

[Aw273]

I’m an early riser, DH prefers a lie in at the weekend. I like to go downstairs, have breakfast and watch TV when I wake up at about 6:30, while DH would sleep til 11 if he could. DH complains every time about me being gone so we can’t cuddle in the morning. I tell him every time just to let me know when he’s awake and I’ll come back up. This is usually what happens, but the constant guilt trip and need to have this conversation every single weekend annoys me. AIBU?

Add to that we now have a co-sleeping DS who will sleep until 9:30 if I’m not there, but will wake up early if the milk machine is still next to him and spoil DH’s chances of a lie in at all, but the situation has been going on long before that!

11am is half the day gone!

I'm the late riser on our house and I've just had my lie in.

Clearly devoting too much thought to this but what about when you go out for the day at the weekend? When does he wake up then, and does he still moan about the cuddles?

I sooo relate to this post OP. Had exact same issue. OH was the same about us getting up at the same time - he was lonely if he woke up and I wasn't there too. This extended to always having to go to bed at the same time too. God forbid I needed to stay up to get something done - he literally could not cope with the idea.

Two decades later and I can say that this needy, controlling behaviour has had a very negative effect on our relationship - and he has been the loser as I now don't care AT ALL about what he wants and basically do my own thing. So my advice to you is to nip it in the bud now before it festers like it did for me.

I am often astonished at the number of men who control women's bedtime/rising time with their whining and shit.
I worked with a girl who had to (on his insistence, not her choice)wait up until her partner came in, had a late supper, watched TV and go to bed together. Wtf?
Tell him to stop whining and mooching for presumablysex when he wakes up "ready" . You are an adult and in charge of your own self.

OH was the same about us getting up at the same time - he was lonely if he woke up and I wasn't there too. This extended to always having to go to bed at the same time too. God forbid I needed to stay up to get something done - he literally could not cope with the idea.
This is my Dsis husband he is a controlling wanker after 20 years in every area of her life, she's finally going to run this year it's been a long time coming.

By ‘cuddles’ does he mean sex?

That's madness. He wants you to lie in bed trying to stay still and quiet for hours so that you're there the instant he wakes up rather than him texting you and you coming upstairs 2 min later? Like others have said wake him early for a cuddle if he is that bothered

He's being ridiculous and quite frankly weird, if this was my DH I would tell him so!

"I tell him every time just to let me know when he’s awake and I’ll come back up."

Why?

Does he not realise that he can get out of bed & come & give you a cuddle where you are?

I like lying in too..my DH wakes up early and gets up ...he can do as he pleases as long as he doesn't disturb my weekend lie ins...respect

Christ he sounds draining.

You could offer to wake him at 6.30 for his cuddle and see how he likes fitting around your sleep schedule

Offer to wake him when you get up if he wants a cuddle.

He automatically expects you to change your morning routine without even considering changing his.

The whole family wakes DH with a cuddle at 6.30am when DD and I wake up. I'm sure yours would love that. Mine does. Then begs for another half an hour. Which he almost always gets.

I adored my late husband, but I used to love it when he got out of bed earlier than me at the weekends. All that space to spread out!