To not be in bed when DH wakes up?

[Aw273]

I’m an early riser, DH prefers a lie in at the weekend. I like to go downstairs, have breakfast and watch TV when I wake up at about 6:30, while DH would sleep til 11 if he could. DH complains every time about me being gone so we can’t cuddle in the morning. I tell him every time just to let me know when he’s awake and I’ll come back up. This is usually what happens, but the constant guilt trip and need to have this conversation every single weekend annoys me. AIBU?

Add to that we now have a co-sleeping DS who will sleep until 9:30 if I’m not there, but will wake up early if the milk machine is still next to him and spoil DH’s chances of a lie in at all, but the situation has been going on long before that!

This is similar to what happens in our house, I get up early and deal with the dogs etc and quite enjoy that time to do what I want lol. DH will sleep in until 9 or 10ish. We both said a while ago that this is a shame as we miss being together first thing, so now he messages me and I take a coffee up and we snuggle in bed then. Works for us!

Ask him if he’d lie in bed for hours waiting for you. Eg if you got up after lunch.

DH and I are the same (well, were before we had a baby!).

I enjoy my lie ins whereas he’s an early riser. He does the same as you - gets up, reads the news, etc whilst I’m still asleep then he comes back to bed for cuddles and usually morning sex when he knows I’m awake.

It works great because we both get that alone time - he has quiet time in the morning whereas I get to enjoy a lie in and then have my quiet time when I wake up but he’s not come back to bed yet. He only complains when it’s a really long lie in and he feels we’ve wasted half a day if I get up at 1pm (which happened sometimes...).

he’s just got this romantic idea in his head of us both waking up together.
Tomorrow morning when you wake squeeze him for cuddles at 6am.

We're the same, I wake up first and my husband messages me when he wakes up. No complaints from either of us. @lifeispassingby, I also enjoy that morning alone time. Like right now 😁

Just wake him at 6.30 for his cuddle. I’m sure as he’s so desperate for one he won’t mind.

@Temp023

There are a lot of man haters on MN! I suggest that you leave this as a minor bone of contention in your relationship, he is being a little unreasonable and it must be mildly annoying. He is not being “hugely unreasonable” and please don’t tell him to “ get stuffed”.

Are you the husband?

You must be a man at the very least.

Why should she have to be kept in the bed until he deems himself ready to wake up?
Go back to the 1950s please.

Is he mad? He’s got the bed to himself!

Aww! I wake up early on weekends (due to cats stepping on my face and trying to lick my eyes!) and I just cba to lie there awake until partner wakes up. But I do hate missing the cuddles. We tend to cuddle up a watch half an hour of crap on tv before we fall asleep in the evening though, so don't miss out altogether!

I'm glad you are going to have a conversation about this and not let it fester or just sulk. Good luck OP and I hope your DS turns out to be the child you hope he will become.

If he wants a cuddle that much, how about he wakes up early and can then have a doze afterwards. Have to say, if I were you, I'd be the one complaining - if someone wakes up that late the whole morning has gone by the time they're ready to do anything.

My DH finds it hard to sleep after 5.30am, no way am I getting up for another hour or so and he respects that.

Does he know how much earlier you wake up? If so, he's being utterly unreasonable. If not, might be worth pointing it out, and he'll hopefully realise what a ridiculous idea this is... (And I say this as someone who wakes up later than my husband and who likes cuddles at least as much as the next person!)

Haha my husband is not a morning person but I am. He's chuffed that I get up early and let him have the bed to himself for a few extra hours.

If he wanted a cuddle I'd just go up with a coffee when he woke up. I don't see any problem with that?

Tell him if he wants a cuddle in bed to set an alarm for 6:15 so he can wake up before you 😉

Same situation in our house, but no stress from DH! I get up, enjoy peace, make tea, watch trashy TV, let dogs out...it’s the best. When DH wakes up he texts me something cute and I take another cuppa and a coffee up and we have snuggles and a natter. If I was guilted into lying there for three hours I would NOT be good company. Neither would the dogs.

He’s being ridiculous. I agree with everyone on here: if it’s such a big deal to him then he should let you wake him up. Why is his schedule the most important (I’d say same if OP was a bloke)? Compromise. It’s not “romantic” if one person hates it! 🤣

X

I'm an early riser so I am up now. Dh is asleep. He woke up but is glad I'm up as he can now get some uninterrupted sleep. He was up in the middle of the night with cramp in his leg. He would never expect me to lie there awake while he slept because he knows he won't get any sleep as I am a bit of a fidget when awake and even if I wasn't he still wouldn't expect it.

Sounds utterly pathetic and needy, I would cringe if my DH said anything like that. We've got it sorted though, separate bedrooms , we go to bed and get up exactly when we want without worrying about disturbing each other.

Your husband is being unreasonable.

However your son is being highly unusually reasonable to sleep that late, lucky you!

We're a bit like this...sometimes wake up at different times. We just text each other a little heart to signal we're awake and the other will arrive magically with a brew and a cuddle. Tell him it works much better than griping.

This is weird and cringy 😬

Tell him to stop being so needy

We both get up early at weekends often, especially in the summer, - way before the children 5.30 am and they wake about 7.30 am. We sometimes have breakfast together or sit in the garden with a cup of coffee if it's a nice morning. It is so peaceful and relaxing. I like a leisurely shower and to get ready without being interrupted constantly. Sometimes one of us goes out fir a walk or bike ride.

My partner is very much an early bird (years of weird shift work). On our weekends off together, we will have a cuddle in bed when he wakes up about 7, then he goes downstairs, makes himself tea, plays on his phone, bimbles about doing bits and pieces- and I get another hour in bed.

How much "cuddling" can you do with a co-sleeping, breastfeeding baby in the bed anyway?

do you go bed at the same time? Do you cuddle then?

I'd be tempted to start waking him at half six when younwake with a loud romantic cuddle!

Wake him up at 6.30 for a cuddle. Job done.

DH walks the dog at 6am, I get up around 7am when I wake up, regardless of the day of the week. If DH had a lie in, that’s his choice. I can’t stand lying in bed awake.

If he wants a cuddle in bed, wake him up early, cuddle, then he can go back to sleep if he wants to.

I can’t believe he thinks you should stay in bed to be available for him the moment he wakes up. What a selfish git.