AIBU to hate it when the OP doesn’t come back?

[aibutohavethisusername]

Not a TAAT just lots of different OPs not coming back to answer reasonable questions.

YANBU

YANBU. I find it very rude. Yes, it's hard for some people to process the advice they're being given, and I think that's fine, but I'm guestimating only 60% of OPs return to their threads, it's terrible.

Well given the response most people get on even totally innocent threads, I am not really surprised.

YABU. OPs of threads don't owe anyone updates or answers.

If you get invested in threads on the internet then more fool you. If you can't cope with not getting closure then I suggest getting your entertainment from books or TV shows.

@mainsfed

YANBU. I find it very rude. Yes, it's hard for some people to process the advice they're being given, and I think that's fine, but I'm guestimating only 60% of OPs return to their threads, it's terrible.

It's not terrible! How entitled are you that you think OPs need to come back and update everyone just to satisfy your own nosiness?

People have real lives behind these threads, try remembering that. They owe you, an anonymous stranger on the internet, sod all.

I’m not over-invested, I just find it odd that people go to the effort of asking for advice or having a rant. Have replies, sometimes lots of replies but don’t comment again. It baffles me.

I’m guessing you’re a serial thread abandoner @Lockheart 😂

This thread is not about updates, nobody is expecting that, this is about people who don’t return to their own thread, wasting the time of many people who could have been helping someone else.

@mainsfed

I’m guessing you’re a serial thread abandoner *@Lockheart* 😂

This thread is not about updates, nobody is expecting that, this is about people who don’t return to their own thread, wasting the time of many people who could have been helping someone else.

They haven't wasted anyone's time. If you post on someone's thread then you have to accept there's a risk the OP won't come back or reply to you. You're wasting your own time if the only reason you reply to threads is so you get a good story out of it. That's not how it works.

I always click see all first to see if there's more than just the initial post. Sometimes a thread is more than a few pages long all based on assumptions because the op hasn't come to answer any questions. I don't bother with those threads at all.

Sometimes, but then seeing the posts and how some people like to pile on while not being bothered to read the OP’s comments, I don’t particularly blame them and understand why.

@Lockheart

YABU. OPs of threads don't owe anyone updates or answers.

If you get invested in threads on the internet then more fool you. If you can't cope with not getting closure then I suggest getting your entertainment from books or TV shows.

I'd usually agree, but just the other day, I saw a post asking for specific information about the place I live with specific questions. The poster couldn't find anything in English. I explained what she needed, and found the info in English for her, took a while to find a reputable site with the necessary info. Never been back. Nada. I felt like giving her a PA "you're welcome" but cba. She can find the info for herself next time though.

It smacks of those weekly magazines. Sometimes it is hard to remember that the OP is someone who is also carrying on with their life, dealing with the fallout etc.

Bemoaning a lack of updates is centring your own nosiness over someone else's real life dilemma!

They haven't wasted anyone's time. If you post on someone's thread then you have to accept there's a risk the OP won't come back or reply to you. You're wasting your own time if the only reason you reply to threads is so you get a good story out of it. That's not how it works.

Way to state the obvious. Of course it’s a risk but it’s not unreasonable to be annoyed by it.

Your language is incendiary, I’m not looking for a good story or being nosy, but equally I do get annoyed when an OP posts and runs. It’s not how a forum is supposed to work.

They haven't wasted anyone's time. If you post on someone's thread then you have to accept there's a risk the OP won't come back or reply to you. You're wasting your own time if the only reason you reply to threads is so you get a good story out of it. That's not how it works.

Lockheart has nailed it.

It's a test I use on myself! If I find myself returning to a thread, refreshing for a OP update, I know I need to step away from MN.

There have been some threads where I wished for an update from OP so I knew they were ok. But at the end of the day, it's an Internet forum, and I need to remember that.

I'd usually agree, but just the other day, I saw a post asking for specific information about the place I live with specific questions. The poster couldn't find anything in English.
I explained what she needed, and found the info in English for her, took a while to find a reputable site with the necessary info.
Never been back. Nada.
I felt like giving her a PA "you're welcome" but cba. She can find the info for herself next time though.

Exactly, it just makes it more unlikely that you’ll bother giving the info next time.

Lockheart and others are dressing it up as nosiness but it’s not, it’s how a decent forum works.

Generally I think it’s usually because they don’t like the responses, so they do a runner.

It’s not how a forum is supposed to work.

*Mainsfed
*
There are no rules to say an OP has to come back (or tell the truth!)

The threads are created, we can individually choose to engage or not, but OPA doesn't owe anyone anything.

Has anyone mentioned rules? It’s ok to be annoyed by something and not expect anything to change.

YANBU.

If I ask for some information or for opinions, then it is only polite to come back and say thanks.

this is about people who don’t return to their own thread, wasting the time of many people who could have been helping someone else.

Just because an OP doesn't come back to a thread they started it doesn't mean that they haven't been helped by the answers they've had.

Yes, it's good to know how someone is getting on but I wouldn't consider my time having been wasted just because the OP hasn't come back, for whatever reason.

Yeah but.... what WAS in the safe????!

@mainsfed

Has anyone mentioned rules? It’s ok to be annoyed by something and not expect anything to change.

You said 'it's not how a forum is supposed to work'

According to you.

I pointed out that there are no rules.

You might think that, but that's just your view.

I too like when OP responds but if they don't, they don't.

I think some follow to get some help for themselves - maybe identifying with the OP and hoping to gather advice/insight. For these it would help them to know the outcomes. The OP posts for advice/insight and perhaps providing feedback is a way of returning the favour

You said 'it's not how a forum is supposed to work'

Why do you take to mean that there should be rules?

I’ve not suggested that, what I meant is that a forum works better when people don’t abandon their threads. Yes, that’s my view, why is it so controversial?

I agree that just because someone does not "visibly" return it does not mean that they did not read the replies and take something from them. There could be all kinds of reasons why they did not post again. And also, how many many people have been helped by reading threads that they did not start and maybe have not even posted on.