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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why don’t you RTFT?

66 replies

CarmenElectric · 12/05/2021 13:39

Yes I know this is a goady thread and I’m expecting a flaming but genuinely why? MN have made it easy for us to see all the OP’s comments but why do some people still insist on commenting without reading all the responses?

Then when they realise they’ve been an arse to the OP why don’t people apologise, some do most don’t.

Yes yes again I know I’m being unreasonable, it’s an anonymous forum and people love bashing others behind the safety of their computers (I myself have NC for this! Blush )

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 12/05/2021 16:33

@bishbashbosh99

Not really bothered about anyone else's opinions, just my own
At least that's honest.
Fifthtimelucky · 12/05/2021 17:32

@CombatBarbie : apologies: only just noticed your query. IOS.

CombatBarbie · 12/05/2021 17:41

@foxyroxyyy I don't have that option on android app. 🤷🏼‍♀️

ArosGartref · 12/05/2021 17:43

Isn't "being an arse to the OP" the main aim of AIBU?

Topseyt · 12/05/2021 18:00

@AfterSchoolWorry

I notice peoples reading comprehension is poor.

They seem to skip over information in the OP.

This is absolutely true. I've seen posts where the OP has clearly begun by saying something like "DD is 5 years old. These are the issues we are having" and almost immediately someone will ask "How old is DD?"

It is irritating.

These days, now that we have the option, I filter a long thread to just OP's posts to get a good idea what has gone on in the thread before I even consider responding. Even then, I often don't respond as it has usually all been said already.

CloudPop · 12/05/2021 19:06

And "didn't want to read and run". I don't get that one.

Newmumatlast · 12/05/2021 19:10

Depends on length of the thread and how long OP has taken to post as I cant see it all on my phone without scrolling through I dont think

Scotsmaw · 12/05/2021 19:10

Haven’t RTFT but usually for me it is because I can’t be arsed.

MrsTophamHat · 12/05/2021 19:14

@CloudPop

And "didn't want to read and run". I don't get that one.
I don't think it's that hard to understand is it?

Someone clicks on a thread by an emotional OP and no/very few replies. They post "didn't want to read and run" to acknowledge that someone has read the post, and even if they do not have the knowledge required wanted to show the person had been acknowledged. It also serves as a bump to stop the thread falling off Active.

You must have noticed that people don't post that message on "tell me what to buy at Lidl" threads.

MrsTophamHat · 12/05/2021 19:16

It's loads better now you can filter to view OP's replies on the app.

therocinante · 12/05/2021 19:20

The Mumsnet UI is horrible, mostly.

Would really prefer a Reddit-style layout with nested comments - it'd stop threads getting sidelined by 4 pages of detail about one comment.

WiddlinDiddlin · 12/05/2021 19:20

People think they have something new to offer, because they cannot believe anyone else may have thought of that before them?

People write something and then forget to post it for ages (I do this!)

People - and I genuinely think social media can take the blame for this - have almost been conditioned to just blart out their thought without reading the full thread, which I liken to someone walking into a pub, hearing a snippet of conversation, shouting their response over the top of everyone else and then walking out again.

Facebook doesn't help, and nor does the use of mobile phones, with limited views of threads and it often being hard to find the start of the thread on Facebook.. and then people find forums after they've got used to facebook and treat them the same way.

In the good old days before facebook, most people on a forum would read the full thread, but then, most of them were using a laptop or pc, so it was easy to see a lot of the thread whilst replying. These days thats not so easy on a tiny mobile screen.

It's also much more likely to happen in a group where there isn't much of a community feel, everyones anonymous, no one knows one another.

Again, back in the day on small forums where everyone got to know other users reasonably well, there would be much more interest in reading the full thread to see who had replied and what they thought about the topic.

StoneofDestiny · 12/05/2021 19:31

Erect penguin bollards and get cameras installed

RichTeaCheddars · 12/05/2021 19:37

When I say I've not read the full thread, I mean I've not read all the replies when it's multi pages long. I always read all of the OPs posts and subsequent updates though. So maybe I'm using not read the thread incorrectly...

Lipz · 12/05/2021 19:47

Gosh this does irritate me. Especially when things have moved on dramatically. Even to read just the op threads or the last 3-5 posts. There was one where a poster had posted about her abusive dh... She had managed to leave, was living in rented accommodation, got a job but posters were still just replying to her op and telling her to get out, think of the kids. The one that's really difficult is where the poster who has recently died and there is a warning in the title by MN and there's MANY condolences on it but people are all replying to her op telling her where to go for a short holiday.

phoenixrosehere · 12/05/2021 20:03

These days, now that we have the option, I filter a long thread to just OP's posts to get a good idea what has gone on in the thread before I even consider responding.

Me too. I even go back to the OP’s posts a few times before posting to make sure I’ve got the details right.

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