Not really sure if AIBU is best for this - but I am sure I might well be seen to be, to some extent. Also, so sorry that this content is my first post; I have been lurking for a while, and really hoped I could engage in some other way before bringing this up, but the situation is getting more problematic by the day.
I live next door to a small Social Housing apartment complex (8 properties, one of which is lived in by my best friend - who just happens to be a man, which is only slightly relevant - but he came here when his rotte father sold a millioon pouind farm and never gave him a bean - another story....). Many different people - at varying stages of life, and in differing circumstances, have come and gone over the 9 years I have lived here, in a semi-detached right alongside.
Earlier this year, a young lady I already knew from the area moved in to the ground floor one adjacent to my house. She has several issues (all of which are known to me, I'm not speculating), some are connected with mental health - well, all are I guess...... She openly says she is disabled (damaged at birth), and attributes her behaviours the disability, sometimes as a get-out I think. She has known me a long time, from days when I went to the Library quite often, and she was hanging out there (as also a Resource Centre), and sees me as a mother-figure I think, and also - to an extent - seems to respect me.
But having her so close is quite a trial..... also, she goes into the village (small town really), where I also go quite often, and seems to pop up wherevere I am - if she feels so inclined. Other days she will ignore me totoally - which is fine, but worrying....
She is 28 - and pregnant for the second time (the first baby was subject to Care proceedings as soon as he was born - largely due to the relationship she was in at that time - also turned out not to be baby's father). He was adopted at age two last year. She immediately became pregnant (implant removed) to another man, who is the son of a friend of mine. Both of HIS children are in Care.
When I knew she was coming here, we tried to establish boundaries - but it is just a big fail. She knocks on my door all the time, she knocks on my friend's door - even though - being male - she puts him in a spot. She tested positive for CoVid, and still came round, lterally coughing all over me.
She involves the Police in ANY falling-out she has with her "boyfriend" (he doesn't live there, just shows up at night - although he doesn't work - and leaves early, sends abusive messages to her, and is always telling he that he's "done". She accused him of rape the first night they slept together, and he spent a day and night in the cells. I have no idea what the hell he was playing at sleeping with her again, and this pregnancy being the result, although he is demanding a DNA test when she is born.
All of this sounds so much like gossip, and I promise it isn't. I recently decided I needed to protect my mind (due to my own ridiculous lifelong family issues) and be careful what I became involved with. But with this, I have no choice. I simply cannot be unkind to her - but due to her diagnosed "attachment disorder" - and the fact that I do seem to be patient with her and am somewhat motherly (she herself was adopted, but her adoptive parents, even though just around the corner - have virtyually cut her off) - she can be a bit too clingy - and I am so very worried what will happen when baby arrives (due 9/6) - even though Social Services are giving her VERY mixed messages about whether or not she can keep her (I am inclined to think it will be "not").
She has at least two |Social Workers (one for baby), a Support Worker - and a few other professionals involved. But I do know that she sees me and W (my friend) as being on-the-spot and therefore easier to come to for the more basic things. Sometimes several times a day.
BUT now, rows with neighbours are starting (and one or two were not too fond of me anyway) - to the point that relatives of theirs are following her into shops and verbally abusing and physically threatening her. So she involves the Police - and it escalates so quickly.
Anyone any ideas what I can do....?
I am so sorry for the wall of text, and what seems like a big whinge - but I am worried on so many levels - for her, for new baby into the world - for expectations of me (when I am quite fragile anyway - although never show it) and of W, and of how the trouble can get as bad here as it did where she was moved from (and also how that will rub off on me - and it will, I know how this kind of thing can happen).
I really tried to prevent problems, and have done what i can - but she does do such a lot herself, just by shouting at people and ignoring my advice (fwiww).....
.....help......
PS - I can do a diagram. I love a diagram, and I know MN does too.