I’ll try (but will probably fail) to keep it simple...
I had a friend at school, Kate (NHRN). We were in the same school year, but she was one of the oldest and I was one of the youngest. She was very keen to grow up quickly - out clubbing at 15 etc. - and essentially thought I was a bit wet for not doing the same. She always thought she was more mature than everyone else, and as such always knew best.
She could also be VERY blunt when she thought she was right and you were wrong. One of these many occasions led us to fall out about two months before we did our GCSEs. Despite her much-vaunted maturity and insistence that she wouldn’t be staying on for sixth form to be treated like a child - and her ‘honest’ admission that she probably wouldn’t bother keeping in touch with people - she actually did stay on, while ironically, I left to do my A Levels at college. As such, we never really made up. I did run into her a couple of times a few years later and we made small talk, and we became friends on Facebook years later, but were never actively in touch.
I didn’t see her again until a school reunion a few years ago. This time we actually did talk about the past properly and made things up. I honestly thought I’d probably never see her again, but a few weeks later, Lucy, who’d organised the reunion, messaged a few of us to say how much she’d enjoyed it and did we fancy another night. We’ve done it a few times now, irregularly due to distance, but it’s always fun.
Kate told us at one of the meet-ups that she’d been having relationship problems, before announcing a split on Facebook a few weeks later. As we both live in London (not our home town), I’d messaged her to say I was sorry to hear her news and did she fancy a drink. She said thanks, it was still a bit raw at the moment, but she’d be in touch. It never happened. A while afterwards, I added her to a group chat about my birthday drinks and she left it without a word. Fair enough if she doesn’t want to go, but it takes seconds to type ‘Sorry, can’t make it - have fun!’
We’ve had group meets since, but to be honest, her attitude has taken the shine off them. I met Lucy and a couple of the others once without her when I was back home, and they were all asking how Kate was. I felt a fool saying ‘No idea’. But it’s not just that. Maybe I’m looking for issues now, but I’ve noticed a lot of what she puts on Facebook is quite judgemental and ‘I know best’. At one of our meets, she told one of our friends that she ‘needs to start dressing like a grown-up’ - more of her famous honesty. I’m starting to feel like all the reasons I’d had enough of her at 15 are still there all these years later.
Now that COVID restrictions are ending, Lucy has been messaging trying to find a date for us all to meet again. As much as I’d like to see her and the others, I don’t know if I can be arsed with a night of The Kate Show. I could easily combine it with a trip home, but why travel 100 miles to devote time to someone who doesn’t bother with me when we’re a Tube ride apart? AIBU to make my excuses and try to meet the others another time?