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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make partner sit in the back of my car for a couple of years?

64 replies

nina3638 · 12/05/2021 10:51

just bought a new car as we’ve just had a baby and the last car was a two seater. the car i bought is still fairly small (hyundai i10) as i’ve not been driving too long so can’t get good insurance deals on bigger cars etc. it’s all in my name so it’s not like he’s paying for it.

since having my baby i’ve been really anxious with things like car safety to the point that i’d just stopped leaving the house because i didn’t trust her car seat. so yesterday i bought a sturdy seat with a proper isofix base and feel so much better about going out with her. however i underestimated how long my partners legs are and he can’t actually sit in the front seat anymore as he can only get one leg in 😂

he said he’s fine just sitting in the back until we can turn the seat front facing in a few years but i feel really bad about it. would you take the seat back if you were me or just leave partner in the back for a few years?

feels like such a stupid situation but for me baby’s safety trumps partner sitting in the front but i don’t know if i’m just being stupid and should just go back to using the three point system on a smaller car seat?

OP posts:
motherloaded · 12/05/2021 14:45

The rest of you put your seat wherever suits you.*

which one? I got 3 Grin

FreestyleInTrance · 12/05/2021 15:13

YANBU. I've spent the past 2.5 years sat in the back of our Fiesta to accommodate an Axkid Minikid, and have no regrets! I'd be sat back there to entertain our DD most of the time anyway, and it's a great seat Smile

Original poster
nina3638 · 12/05/2021 15:13

to answer a few things -

can’t go behind me because then i’d have to move my seat and obviously i have to drive safely and i’d be too close to the wheel/pedals etc

she’s in the passenger seat at the back not the front, the problem is that he can’t sit in the front because it pushes the passenger seat too far forward

no isofix fittings in the middle

the reason it’s for a few years is that once she isn’t rearfacing it fits much better and there’s much more space in the front

he’s okay with it so i probably am just overthinking it. baby will probably like having him in the back with her anyway. i just feel a bit bad about it

OP posts:
saraclara · 12/05/2021 15:14

Ugh. MN was playing up when I tried to post. Apologies for the multiple tellings off!

SnackSizeRaisin · 12/05/2021 15:54

Isofix isn't necessarily safer. Get some proper advice from a specialist retailer such as in car safety centre (not Halfords or a toy shop).
Although if you are bothered about safety you will want your child to stay rear facing until 5 or 6 so your partner will have to get used to going in the back.
Personally I never seem to park on the side of a busy road - always car parks or quiet residential streets. Guess it depends where you live. If you only have one seat in the back it will be easy enough to lean across to whichever side it's on, in an emergency.

TruffleShuffles · 12/05/2021 16:09

@nina3638

to answer a few things -

can’t go behind me because then i’d have to move my seat and obviously i have to drive safely and i’d be too close to the wheel/pedals etc

she’s in the passenger seat at the back not the front, the problem is that he can’t sit in the front because it pushes the passenger seat too far forward

no isofix fittings in the middle

the reason it’s for a few years is that once she isn’t rearfacing it fits much better and there’s much more space in the front

he’s okay with it so i probably am just overthinking it. baby will probably like having him in the back with her anyway. i just feel a bit bad about it

There won’t be more space in a few years time as her legs will need to be in the gap behind the seat. My daughter has just swapped from rear to front facing but the passenger seat has stayed in the same place as she needs room for her legs now.
SnackSizeRaisin · 12/05/2021 16:27

Isofix isn't necessarily safer. Get some proper advice from a specialist retailer such as in car safety centre (not Halfords or a toy shop).
Although if you are bothered about safety you will want your child to stay rear facing until 5 or 6 so your partner will have to get used to going in the back.
Personally I never seem to park on the side of a busy road - always car parks or quiet residential streets. Guess it depends where you live. If you only have one seat in the back it will be easy enough to lean across to whichever side it's on, in an emergency.

FreestyleInTrance · 12/05/2021 16:36

YANBU. I've spent the past 2.5 years sat in the back of our Fiesta to accommodate an Axkid Minikid, and have no regrets! I'd be sat back there to entertain our DD most of the time anyway, and it's a great seat Smile

Messyplayallday · 12/05/2021 16:42

One of us sit in the back with DD because she hates the car, been doing it 15 months now and I doubt we will change anytime soon. We both enjoy being in the back to the point we play Rock Paper Scissors to see who gets to join her!

If your partner is happy being in the back then let them!

OmniversalSpecies2021 · 12/05/2021 16:56

I would have assumned it would make sense and be easier to attend to your baby if an adult were sat in the back during a journey where you're driving anyway?????

it’s all in my name so it’s not like he’s paying for it
wow - if this is how you plan on 'pulling rank' when you choose to just make your own decision instead of discussing the issue at hand........

ChristmasFluff · 12/05/2021 17:15

It's fine in the back - one of us always went in the back with the baby anyway when we were both travelling - it makes things so much easier.

ArdoCycle · 14/05/2021 09:41

You can usually secure most seats with the belt (even if they have an isofix option) isofix isn’t any safer than a properly fitted belted seat, and the majority of next stage seats that rear face for any real length of time will all be belted. Maybe fit with the belt and see if it’s any better leg room wise?

MIC2689 · 14/05/2021 10:54

Surely if you can't have the car seat behind you due to lack of space, how is he going to have any more room sitting behind you?

mainsfed · 14/05/2021 11:04

As the driver I would hate this, I love company in the front.

But if it works for you and him then all good.

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