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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make partner sit in the back of my car for a couple of years?

64 replies

nina3638 · 12/05/2021 10:51

just bought a new car as we’ve just had a baby and the last car was a two seater. the car i bought is still fairly small (hyundai i10) as i’ve not been driving too long so can’t get good insurance deals on bigger cars etc. it’s all in my name so it’s not like he’s paying for it.

since having my baby i’ve been really anxious with things like car safety to the point that i’d just stopped leaving the house because i didn’t trust her car seat. so yesterday i bought a sturdy seat with a proper isofix base and feel so much better about going out with her. however i underestimated how long my partners legs are and he can’t actually sit in the front seat anymore as he can only get one leg in 😂

he said he’s fine just sitting in the back until we can turn the seat front facing in a few years but i feel really bad about it. would you take the seat back if you were me or just leave partner in the back for a few years?

feels like such a stupid situation but for me baby’s safety trumps partner sitting in the front but i don’t know if i’m just being stupid and should just go back to using the three point system on a smaller car seat?

OP posts:
PragmaticWench · 12/05/2021 11:35

@saraclara roadside depends entirely on which side of the road you park. Confused

shockthemonkey · 12/05/2021 11:40

Partner's legs are too long to sit in front seat now, but they'll be shorter in a few years' time?

The front is always where there is more leg room. Not sure I follow why he'll be OK in the front in a few years' time. It's obviously to do with where the baby goes but I'm not quite getting it.

Is partner sitting sideways on in the back?

shockthemonkey · 12/05/2021 11:42

Oh OK think I'm getting there - you're putting the baby in the back seat on the passenger side, and it prevents the front passenger seat from sliding back far enough?

Is that the issue?

As PPs have said, if your baby is in the rear she should be behind driver, I think!

sallysparrow157 · 12/05/2021 11:58

Saraclara I have twins - should I just leave one in the car?

Couchbettato · 12/05/2021 12:04

I always thought baby needed to be passenger side because if ever there were an accident emergency services wouldn't be stepping into the road to get the baby out.

Not because you park on the left.

saraclara · 12/05/2021 12:05

[quote PragmaticWench]@saraclara roadside depends entirely on which side of the road you park. Confused[/quote]
In day to day driving one almost always parks with the pavement at the nearside. I've been to two safety talks held at the school I worked at, and both times the police and safety personnel stressed extremely heavily that children should always be taken out on the pavement side, and that baby seats, if not in the middle, should be placed on the passenger side of the rear seat, with the child who is able to walk crossing the inside of the car to get out at the pavement.

People like the poster who lives in a one way street and has to park the other way, will presumably judge for herself which places she parks through the week, what sort of roads they are, and decide what's safest for her own situation.

If you're a frequent motorway driver, especially with the new smart motorways, I can't even imagine trying to get a baby out of their seat in the traffic side if you break down.

saraclara · 12/05/2021 12:06

@sallysparrow157

Saraclara I have twins - should I just leave one in the car?
Don't be silly. You obviously have to get both children in and out as safely as possible. But it doesn't negate the general safety message.
user648482729 · 12/05/2021 12:09

If he’s fine with it then it’s not an issue;

emilyfrost · 12/05/2021 12:17

I think if your anxiety is that bad you need to get help for it before it starts to rub off on your daughter.

Summerfun54321 · 12/05/2021 12:26

Lots of adults sit in the back seat if they’re a passenger to entertain their child if they’re rear facing anyway.

Subordinateclause · 12/05/2021 13:07

@saraclara

Baby seats need to be behind the passenger seat for safe access from the pavement. Otherwise you're getting the baby in and out from the road. So suggestions to move it make no sense.
Yes in an ideal world but plenty of posters have pointed out why this isn't always the case, not least if you have twins, so I wouldn't say it 'makes no sense'. If you have 2 children with a small age gap then the more mobile one should be passenger side. I'm just careful about where I park!
motherloaded · 12/05/2021 13:21

@saraclara

Baby seats need to be behind the passenger seat for safe access from the pavement. Otherwise you're getting the baby in and out from the road. So suggestions to move it make no sense.
because no parent ever has more than 1 baby ever Hmm
motherloaded · 12/05/2021 13:25

Should someone tell saraclara that in the UK the most dangerous side is actually the passenger side, more at risk to be hit by car travelling at speed during left hand turns?

NCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNC · 12/05/2021 13:26

Don't understand comments about not putting baby behind driver. We used to live with only on street parking and I usually parked with me and baby by the pavement. You don't have to park on the left of the road! We now have a large drive and I only really drive to the supermarket or in laws (in countryside, with drive) so non issue really.

zigaziga · 12/05/2021 13:27

My children have always hated the car so I sit in the back with them (doesn’t stop them hating it) and my DH drives. I’ve sat in the back for years. 🤷‍♀️

LuckyMcDucky · 12/05/2021 13:27

YANBU. He seems happy enough. I wouldn't care either and I would prioritise my dcs' safety over DH or me getting to ride shotgun! Totally fine imo.

Kokosrieksts · 12/05/2021 13:55

What’s the problem? I’ve been sitting in the back with my daughter for the past 2 years. Makes it easier to pass them a toy that’s been dropped etc.

PragmaticWench · 12/05/2021 14:00

@saraclara
In day to day driving one almost always parks with the pavement at the nearside.

Oh does One? Well One might but the vast majority of drivers park wherever they can get a space, either side of the road and not necessarily with the pavement at the nearside.

Providora · 12/05/2021 14:09

@saraclara

Baby seats need to be behind the passenger seat for safe access from the pavement. Otherwise you're getting the baby in and out from the road. So suggestions to move it make no sense.
I'm guessing you don't have 2 children!
saraclara · 12/05/2021 14:09

Okay. The police and road safety people were talking bollocks then.
OP is clearly safety conscious as her post makes clear, so I was just adding in what I was told by people I assume should know.

The rest of you put your seat wherever suits you. Just always get all your children out on the pavement side.

saraclara · 12/05/2021 14:13

Okay. The police and road safety people were talking bollocks then.
OP is clearly safety conscious as her post makes clear, so I was just adding in what I was told by people I assume should know.

The rest of you put your seat wherever suits you. Just always get all your children out on the pavement side.

Anyway, wherever you put your seat

FTEngineerM · 12/05/2021 14:16

In my car DC is in the front, in DPs he’s in the back that’s only because there’s no isofix in his front seat.

He is much more chilled when he can see us, without the need for entertainment.

When DC2 arrives he’ll go in the front of both (seat doesn’t require isofix) and DC1 will be put in the back of both.

Everyone has sat in the back since I had DC1 if I’m in my car. Even if I’m in DPs I’ll sit in the back anyway to talk to DC, I don’t think it matters where someone sits in the car.

Well done on finding a setup that allows you some independence

FTEngineerM · 12/05/2021 14:29

In my car DC is in the front, in DPs he’s in the back that’s only because there’s no isofix in his front seat.

He is much more chilled when he can see us, without the need for entertainment.

When DC2 arrives he’ll go in the front of both (seat doesn’t require isofix) and DC1 will be put in the back of both.

Everyone has sat in the back since I had DC1 if I’m in my car. Even if I’m in DPs I’ll sit in the back anyway to talk to DC, I don’t think it matters where someone sits in the car.

Well done on finding a setup that allows you some independence

saraclara · 12/05/2021 14:33

I did have two children. When they were little, the youngest was on the passenger side, the oldest on the drivers side as they were capable of getting themselves across the car to the passenger side door to get out.

Anyway. Okay. The police and road safety people were talking bollocks then according to many on this thread.
OP is clearly safety conscious as her post makes clear, so I was just adding in what I was told by people I assume should know.

The rest of you put your seat wherever suits you. Just always get all your children out on the pavement side.

saraclara · 12/05/2021 14:36

I did have two children. When they were little, the youngest was on the passenger side, the oldest on the drivers side as they were capable of getting themselves across the car to the passenger side door to get out.

Anyway. Okay. The police and road safety people were talking bollocks then according to many on this thread.
OP is clearly safety conscious as her post makes clear, so I was just adding in what I was told by people I assume should know.

The rest of you put your seat wherever suits you. Just always get all your children out on the pavement side.

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