Son hand down pants. Any advice?

[thecatsarecrazy]

Posting for traffic hope this is ok..
My 4 year old in the last week or so keeps putting his hand in his pants. I don't want him to be embarrassed or feel he's naughty or whatever but obviously he can't keep doing it either. He was doing it at nursery today and it was brought up at pick up. I'm currently just pulling his hand out and saying hand out of pants. He's a bit behind with speech so it's hard to get the point across sometimes.

At my DMs the other day, 4yo realised that if he tensed his stomach muscles when having a wee, he could make his penis go up and down, cue "HA! NANA! WATCH THIS!"

They all mess with their bits, just keep reiterating not to do it in public and make him wash his hands every time.

Say a version of whatever you'd say if they were picking their nose, basically.
Or "you can do that in your room/in private but not in front of other people".

@thecatsarecrazy

What's John barrowman been up to ? 👀

Apparently he likes to whip his Willy out for entertainment, put it on his costars shoulder once.

"That's for private time only, please!" On repeat.

We had this for AGES with one of my dd's.

ime this is just the start of a life long obbession they just generally get better at keeping it more private

I take the same tack as my dm did with my dbs, 'do leave it alone dear or it will stop working', oh the fear in their eyes

@SemiFeralDalek

At my DMs the other day, 4yo realised that if he tensed his stomach muscles when having a wee, he could make his penis go up and down, cue "HA! NANA! WATCH THIS!"

They all mess with their bits, just keep reiterating not to do it in public and make him wash his hands every time.

My DS used to do this and would say "mummy look, big willy"! He's now evolved on to 'disco willy' which involves lot of jiggling about..... he's 7 and I have to gently remind him that he's not to do that at school or anywhere else to which he replies "I know mummy, I'm not silly!" Which is a slight relief!

They all do it - my primary school teacher friend has a refrain of ‘hands on the table please!’

@Youdoyoutoday 'disco Willy' is a fantastic phrase!!!

My DS3 always has his hands in his pants. As a PP said, they never stop doing it, they just get better at not doing it in public

It's totally normal, you just have reiterate that's it's not the done thing to do it in public. Telling DS to wash his hands every time he did it soon put him off. Sometimes we'd exit the bathroom after making him wash his hands only to do an about turn and wash them again as his hand went straight down, I presume to check it was still there.

DH still wakes up clutching his sometimes and seems to think wiggling his hips so it slaps on his thighs as he exits the bathroom is funny, no amount of and ignoring his childish behaviour has made an impact. He's 49!!

Just say that’s something that you do in private. Like, you might like picking your nose but you do it in private. Or you might want to scratch your butt but you do it in private. No one is to see you doing that Or words to that effect.

@Lumene

Just say, don’t do that in public please, it’s private. Fine to do in your room on your own, but not in front of others.

Yeah I agree with this. Part of the whole "private parts" conversation.

I've only seen my oldest play with his winky once and he's 7, my 4 year old is constantly doing it 🙈 My brothers did it right up until they moved out..

3 boys here, 3 lots of Willy playing! They grew out of it (in public!)

If this is a sudden thing, is he actually playing with himself, or is he suddenly itchy or sore?

I told my 2 yr old he could touch it as much as he wanted but he had to do it in private in his bedroom. Seemed to work.

Speaking as a primary school teacher - it's very common.

Just a quick "hands out" does the job, or a "do that in private please".

Washing hands every time seems a good Idea. I don't think he's sore he normally says hurt if there's anything wrong. I won't do what my mum did with my brother and threatened to cut it off with scissors eek

Tell him you know it feels nice but that it is polite for him to only do it in bedroom or toilet because other people prefer not to watch it.

I ask my dc to wash their hands everytime I catch them down their pants, it soon goes out of fashion.

[quote ChubbyMsSunshine]@Youdoyoutoday 'disco Willy' is a fantastic phrase!!!

My DS3 always has his hands in his pants. As a PP said, they never stop doing it, they just get better at not doing it in public [/quote]
It does make me laugh... probably slightly more than it should!

I think they all do it! My DS did as a child and now as an adult. When he was little I only told him not to do outside the house.

It’s just a phase, he’ll grow out of it. He’s just exploring his body, it usually happens when they come out of nappies.

Males are obsessed with their genitalia. My aunt had three daughters, her first grandchild was a boy and she asked my mum (who had a son) ‘is that normal?’ About the amount of touching, playing, pulling etc. My mum just laughed and said yes it’s a lifetime toy!

@GameSetMatch you should tell my husband it’s ‘just a phase!’

I have a ‘fond’ memory of 4 little boys, one was my Gds, standing together near the swimming pool at a relative’s holiday home. They were all 3,4,or 5, all wearing their swimmies, and every one of them had a hand down his pants.
Dd and I had a good laugh about it.

I dare say your ds will eventually get the message that it’s not polite behaviour, but if he’s still only 4 perhaps I wouldn’t be holding my breath. I’d just keep reminding him that ‘we’ don’t do that.