"Lol!! [zany face] what are men like" do you put up with this?

[VladmirsPoutine]

I was reading an article earlier via twitter in which a woman had asked her husband to put away the leftovers from dinner. In doing so he put the whole electric rice cooker into the fridge with the remnants of the rice. A lot of people commenting were saying things like "well he did what he was asked" or "I can't see any problem with that." And so forth.

Am I alone in thinking for me this would be grounds for divorce. I mean in that that the 'learned' or 'conscious' incompetence. Why are men, and indeed women putting up with this? They manage very well in their jobs and to go to the pub and maintain knowledge of where their respective football teams are in the league but for whatever reason it's miraculous that for example their baby is still alive after mum leaves for the afternoon and baby is left with father or some such?

@Sometimesonly

Ugh, no. I didn't marry someone with two degrees to put up with stupid shit like that. I'm not sure the degrees make any difference whatsoever!

My point (badly expressed) was that DH would have trouble claiming he isn't capable of simple household tasks when he is clearly smart enough for the aforementioned degrees. (Not, that you need higher education to put stuff in the fridge properly).

Yes I cannot stand this. I think at the start these woman find it cute and it makes them feel needed. 15 years down the line soaking the skid marks out your dear hubbys boxers because he can’t possibly work out how to use the washing machine... I imagine it wears a bit thin.

I wouldn't need to divorce him because I wouldn't marry a sexist man baby in the first place

Far too often if you say that though you’re told you either don’t know yours in useless yet or that you’re lying, lucky or smug.

Yes I've noticed that a lot on threads actually. I'm not lying and why should I be lucky or smug about choosing a functioning adult as a partner? I mean seriously? Some women need to set the bar a lot higher. And I agree with your other point too, I would be far happier being single then being with a man child

I saw a thread on facebook recently where a woman listed what she did in a day compared to what her husband did (and why she was tired) and it was all HA HA HA what are we like...

Loads of women were agreeing with her. I said well don't think I could be with someone that lazy and people said "oh well that's just the way it is" and "Oh well don't you like looking after your children!" I was like what the fuck have I just stumbled on... no one I know is like this in real life.....

I asked my STBXH to pop a tin of beans in the microwave for the DC. He did exactly that...STBXH

Learned incompetence it’s called. Not for me. Women really are our own worse enemy sometimes.

Can’t abide it.

Feckless men being pandered to, enabled, and encouraged.

I couldn’t find a man like that attractive on any level.

Oh well don't you like looking after your children! Head meet desk. An adult is not a child fgs, why oh why do these women pander to their husbands/partners as if they are?

The state of some women's minds these days, when they say that they would divorce their Husbands,for some misdemeanour in their homes, is truly ridiculous. You need a sense of humour, and to lose some spikey comments all the time.

@1forAll74

The state of some women's minds these days, when they say that they would divorce their Husbands,for some misdemeanour in their homes, is truly ridiculous. You need a sense of humour, and to lose some spikey comments all the time.

And you need to raise your bar

@1forAll74

The state of some women's minds these days, when they say that they would divorce their Husbands,for some misdemeanour in their homes, is truly ridiculous. You need a sense of humour, and to lose some spikey comments all the time.

It wouldn’t have got to marriage to begin with, tbh. Who’d want to be married to an incompetent (wilfully it otherwise) feckless dummy? That’s not the kind of man I’d settle down with. And I didn’t.

And there’s a big difference surely between the odd household blunder (which I’ve certainly made myself at times - I don’t keep score but I’m sure DH and I would be roughly even!) and the learned/accepted incompetence that is being referred to, the inability to do any bloody thing because your penis renders you incapable

YANBU

It’s so irritating, it’s a learned helplessness. They presumably hold down a job with some degree of competence and wouldn’t dream of being so footy at work! Why is it acceptable to be a dick at home?

Same goes for women who play the “silly little woman” act and defer to their husband

Wholeheartedly agree, cannot believe there are so many women who think this is something to giggle at. Pathetic.

I also saw the thread @Evergibbon mentioned and commented something along the lines of how sad it was that so many women commenting thought that was normal and maybe they should raise the bar a bit. Sadly my comment was in the minority. Thankfully DH isn’t a useless piece of shit and if he was, we wouldn’t be married

@VladmirsPoutine

I was honestly astonished at the amount of women just carrying on as if it's totally fine. I remarked that I would divorce my husband if he did this yet I'm somehow in the wrong. Where do these attitudes come from? I think it was even remarkable that she asked him to put the left overs away. What if she had not... so the rice was just going to stay in the cooker along with whatever else?

You would DIVORCE your husband for putting the Rice cooker in the fridge??????

@Oncemoretwicemore

Ugh, no. I didn't marry someone with two degrees to put up with stupid shit like that.

You could help slipping in the 'two degrees' there, could you?!

a woman had asked her husband to put away the leftovers from dinner. In doing so he put the whole electric rice cooker into the fridge with the remnants of the rice.

There's a man who put the passive back into aggressive.

Mine hasn't got any degrees at all, yet he's a bloody whizz at housework, is capable of putting a wash on and pushing the hoover round (and is rather good in bed into the bargain). I wouldn't put up with one of these useless lazy man-babies any more, and I CERTAINLY wouldn't giggle and make excuses for learned uselessness.

When my DH worked part time it came up in conversation with a colleague that he did.the housework on his days off. Cue lots of Wow, you're so lucky/he's amazing type comments.

Funnily enough i now work part time and do the housework on my days off. No one has ever mentioned how amazing I am or how lucky DH is

Sounds like a case of doing a bad job to not be asked to do it again. Some men are expert at this.

My Dh wouldn’t look after the kids without me. People used to say to me “leave them with him, he’ll be forced to look after them.” He wouldn’t feed them but would feed himself and say they weren’t hungry. When the eldest (now 16) was a baby he rang me to come back from work as baby was crying. He couldn’t be bothered to give baby his milk. Now they are older they can feed themselves but even they say how useless he is!

But he’s not useless at feeding himself.
So he’s just a selfish arsehole who uses the excuse that he’s “useless” to bully everyone into doing jobs he’s more than capable of doing.
Funny how women never seem to be “useless” like this.

I really do hate this. I asked dh to hang some clothes on the airer before I went to work and he has done it in the most stupid way. Some arms are still tucked inside the jumpers. I don't find it cute or roll my eyes and think, "oh men!" but it's infuriating. He manages a whole team of people at work. But for some reason can't be bothered to think about how to arrange clothes so they actually dry.

pinkstripey how can you have found that utter failure attractive enough to stay with him for years after he openly neglected your kids?