To be gutted hugs are back!

[Zerowillpower]

Just a quick one (light hearted). I’m not gonna lie, I’m not a fan of physical contact, I’m a bit of a germ freak (pre covid) and also have loved the fact my newborn baby hasn’t had to be passed round all and sundry like my first baby!! Obv hate covid! But for me the great thing about it is people washing their hands more, no one using my bathroom and not having to physically touch anyone!! I’m also someone who doesn’t like to offend so not a lot of people know about the fact that I’d rather not touch them or be touched. Just heard we can hug again from 17th May- arghhhh!!! Anyone with me or am I a freak on my own?!?!

@Chocolatebiscuitcollection

I'm very intrigued by all the people you are expected to hug? Virtual strangers?

I would only give a hug on greeting to my mum, 2 of my brothers, my sister, 5 or so closest friends, and some (but not all) of my cousins who I only see once every year or two anyway. Hugging people I barely know has never come up.

Depends what line of work you are in sometimes. Or if you have colleagues that are a bit over exuberant.

My Mother said she hugged the dentist (pre covid) because she was so thrilled with her treatment. Hope the dentist was a hugger. Yikes.

I'm with you OP, I hate hugging! And my two closest friends are real huggers with everyone so whenever I'm with them i feel like I'm obliged to hug every fucker there as well! It's nothing to do with germs for me, I just hate the awkwardness of it, which side to go in, go in for a cheek kiss first and then hug, or just hug, how long to hug for, just noooooo! And my own family aren't really huggers at all, so I only really end up hugging people I'm not even that close to!

I have loved having the excuse not to do it for a year!

I’m with you, I am already feeling anxious as I work with enthusiastic huggers who will make a huge thing of it next week.

I have also enjoyed a year with no hugging. Like previous posters it seems to have become a thing over the past 10-15 years in our family and circle of friends. I'm sure there was a time when hugs were only expected for immediate relatives. It's only now that I've had a year's respite that I realise that it makes me really uncomfortable. Not sure I can pull off the Oprah greeting mentioned above but I've already started to rehearse a standard response to explain why I don't want to start hugging again in the hope that others get the message without being too offended. I really do like them - just don't want to hug them.

@Chocolatebiscuitcollection

I voted yabu but that seems to be a minority in the voting.

Why can't you non huggers just be happy for the people to whom it is important. If you don't want hugs (from who? anyone other than your partner or children?) just own it and say so! People are not mind readers.

Because, as previously mentioned, some huggers launch themselves at people leaving them little choice in the matter. If those huggers sought consent before violating my boundaries and invading my space then there wouldn’t be a problem. But they don’t.

Just because you CAN hug from the 17th doesn’t mean you SHOULD hug!? I am pretty sure if anyone tried to hug you they wouldn’t think twice if you refused. Not sure how we can catch covid on the 16th but from the 17th you’re safe!? I also don’t like hugs apart from my partner sister and mum but luckily for me no one else would try hug me because they just know I very much like my own space lol!

Maybe don't assume people will want to hug you. Don't assume your baby will be passed around, there's been a world shift people are preoccupied with one thing or another, making sense of it all. So what you assume is a priority to them, may now not be. I'm not really a hugger but I can't be asked to get in a tizz about it.

I'll hug my family (have been anyway) but won't be hugging any friends or randoms in a hurry.

Post pandemic is the perfect time for a reset on unwanted contact. I shall be polite but firm with anyone who tries.

I'm with you OP. I'm sick of hearing how we're all desperate to hug.
I'm perfectly friendly with people but prefer to hug family and a few friends only.

I hate hugs. You are not alone.

I'm not a hugger. Unfortunately a lot of huggers don't realise that not everyone wants to hug. Why do I want you to get close and personal to me?

When someone wants to hug I can either hug which feels awkward or make excuses/decline/jump back/whatever which makes me feel more awkward. I am fairly socially awkward in general and have social anxiety at the best of times. People already think I'm a weirdo without me declining hugs so I have to hug and I really really don't want to. To me hugging is an intimate act and I don't want to be all intimate with people.

Yes so most people don't hug everyone they come into contact with. No-one gets a hug from the person on the checkout or the bus driver, but there are times that the person who is coming in for a hug doesn't know you that well. Like if someone leaves a job, everyone has to have a hug. Just ugh.

So all you huggers go out and enjoy your hugging. I really have no objection to that and it is good you can do something that you haven't been able to for a long long time, but please don't assume everyone is happy to hug back or expect them to be able to say if they are not. It really isn't as simple as that.

Same! Now we have excuse to say no!

I am with you, OP. I hate physical contact and would be happy never to be hugged or kissed by anyone ever again.

Us non-huggers need a lanyard. With a message on. ‘Does not like hugs.’

I’m not a hugger. If anyone comes in for a hug I’m going to cough. That should do it.

No! We can hug people now?! Bring back covid!

I don't mind hugs so much, but air kisses are just annoying. Ooh let's bump cheeks, that's a great way to say hello or goodbye rather than say the bloody word, but of course we say the word too.

I dint mind hugging and kissing. I do hate handshakes. That was one of the reasons I was happy to leave Germany. They have a handshake fetish.

Another non-hugger here. Would be great if "huggers" could just respect that not everyone wants a hugger in their personal space but I'm too introverted to say so, so i put up with it to stop them feeling awkward.

I'm going to have to get a "hug exemption" lanyard. They do harnesses for dogs that say "respect my space" something similar would be great for me.

I really, really, need to ask you all though..... what do you do when not in England then, assuming you are all English? How do you cope in the rest of Europe?

Honestly, it never really occured to me that anyone doesn't like hugs, but as I said upthread, I am half Italian, and many of my friends are European origin. We even hug and kiss all the staff at the local Italian restaurants. I know, I know, we are probably the weird ones !

I love hugs 🤗 and can't wait to hug people. But I know which of my friends don't like hugs, and obviously won't hug them.

@BigWoollyJumpers I really, really, need to ask you all though..... what do you do when not in England then, assuming you are all English? How do you cope in the rest of Europe?

I have been to France many many times, but don't have to do any of that as I only ever go on holiday so don't know anyone. The people I speak to generally are at work like in a shop or a restaurant etc. They don't even try to do the french cheek kiss thing. I assumed it was because I wasn't their friend or family, but maybe its because they realised I am british and perhaps we have a reserved reputation?

If they did I would probably do the same as I do with hugs and follow the lead, but I'd hate doing it though.

Not been to Italy since I was a kid.

Mosthappy

You need to invent this hug exemption lanyard.
I will be the first to buy one

What will the ‘Please don’t hug me’ lanyard look like?

I'm buying a hug exception lanyard, hate hate hate hugs

Hate kissing too, is that weird