To be offended?

[RainbowBriteUk]

I have weird eyebrows. They are thick near the middle of my head but really go much barer towards the ends. I sometimes use eyebrow pencils but i'm not the best at applying it and don't have the patience. Today, I saw new man who I have been dating a few months or so and had a full face of makeup apart from the eyebrows. He asked why I shaved them. I told him I didn't and he refused to believe me at first. I told him they were like that naturally and just weird but I did feel offended he brought it up. He has yellowish teeth but I didn't bring that up and I wouldn't. Usually I would kick off about something like this but I was trying my best to be nice today and didn't want to sour the otherwise lovely day out.

I do think there may be some mild autistic traits in him possibly but I have never discussed this with him.

So, AIBU to be pissed off by his comments?

Also, just to say he's lovely otherwise and seems like a real gentleman.

Why oh why on all these thread do people say they think the person is “autistic” 🙄

@Happycat1212 I came to say the same.

For the love of God can we stop this
I do think there may be some mild autistic traits in him possibly this is not a get out for being rude or abusive and is beyond insulting to genuinely autistic persons, some men are just fuckin rude!!

I genuinely do think he's autistic. I've got years of experience of working with people with autism.

It was on the last thread about a man being rude to his partner she though he was “possibly autistic” seems to become more and more frequent on here anytime a man is rude.

I wouldn;t be offended by that at all - I'd laugh - I am offended by your comment that is basically rude=autistic - that's bollox

Why is autism used a reason for being rude or a dick?

Anyway, if you're fussed about your eyebrows, I can recommend microblading, my brows were very bare and now they full and fab, I wish I'd done it sooner.

Having a full face of makeup but no brow product on, especially when you're aware your brows just taper off into nothing probably did look a bit jarring if I'm honest so I can see why he thought you shaved them off.

@RainbowBriteUk
Experience? really?
Yet you make such a stupid remark to justify his rudeness.

It was a strange comment for him to make, but refusing to believe you is worse. I couldn’t be with someone who thought I’d lie about something like that.

Thanks for your replies

To be honest if DH came downstairs with drastically different looking eyebrows I’d mention it!

Am curious about the “trying my best to be nice today” comment though

Why oh why are people so outraged when someone considers autism as a factor for poor social behaviour? Autism is a social communication disorder, people with autism are more likely to make mistakes with social behaviours.

Surely it's not unreasonable to consider that when an otherwise agreeable person says something uncomfortable/inappropriate?

Do your eyebrows look shaved? Bit weird to wear full face of makeup and not do ypir eyebrows

It's rude enough for him to comment and even ruder for him to not believe you. Up to you if you accept his rudeness or not.

Thank you @picklemewalnuts. I can say with confidence I think he's autistic. He's lovely but I've seen his traits in other people with autism so many times. I'm not saying it to be mean!

I really struggle to do my eyebrows!

@picklemewalnuts

Why oh why are people so outraged when someone considers autism as a factor for poor social behaviour? Autism is a social communication disorder, people with autism are more likely to make mistakes with social behaviours.

Surely it's not unreasonable to consider that when an otherwise agreeable person says something uncomfortable/inappropriate?

Because this is not just poor social behaviour this is downright rudeness.

My son has autism and while he struggles to read social situations and issues socially awkward, he would never pull someone's appearance apart and say something unkind.

There's a difference.

@wednesdaayaddams

this is not just 'poor social behaviour' this is downright rudeness.

My son has autism and while he struggles to read social situations and issues socially awkward, he would never pull someone's appearance apart and say something unkind.

There's a difference.

100% this... ^

@ghostyslovesheets

I wouldn't be offended by that at all - I'd laugh - I am offended by your comment that is basically rude = autistic - That's bollox!

This too. ^

It's SO offensive towards genuine autistic people. I am sick and tired of people excusing rudeness with 'they may be autistic' and if it's someone over 55, the excuse is 'they may have dementia.' Sometimes, a person is just an obnoxious arsehole.

@RainbowBriteUk He doesn't lovely - and a real gentleman! He sounds very rude. And yellow teeth . BLEH VOM 🤢 That would be enough for me to dump him anyway!

@RainbowBriteUk

I can say with confidence I think he's autistic.

You can say with confidence that you THINK he's autistic?

That barely makes sense!

It's really up to you if you find the comments rude. I would. I'd find the comments rude no matter who said them. It is rude.

At the end of the day it is insulting to people with autism that anytime someone is rude or awkward someone puts it down to possibly being autism.

People with autism are not rude, they have a neurological disorder than can make social situations very hard. That's nothing to do with making inappropriate or unkind comments.

It's made harder with assumptions being made about what they must be like.

I’d you normally pencil them in and didn’t today then of course they looked different to him!! He probably didn’t realise they were pencilled before and thought that was them natural.

I dated a man for several months and then one time I didn’t wear fake tan and he thought I was ill he hadn’t realised I had been wearing all over fake tan the entire time. (I take it as a compliment that I had applied it very well with no streaks )

@RainbowBriteUk is the thinning at the outer edge getting worse? It can be a sign of thyroid issues.

He was rude btw.