If you're Muslim..

[Worriedly2]

Not an aibu, just no idea where to post.

I have a lovely ex boss who is a Muslim, we only worked together for a few months but we still keep in touch and I'd like to get him something as I believe Ramadan is coming to an end this week and I think this is the biggest celebration in Islam? I could be totally wrong, my knowledge of Islam comes from year 9 RE. He sent us a christmas card and a gift for our kids so I just want to repay his generosity.

I've obviously googled but can't find a guide or an explanation as to what is appropriate.

Can anyone suggest what to get him?

Aw! That's lovely! Charity is very big thing around ramadan and Eids time.

I'm Muslim, the chocs will be much appreciated! (We check the box to ensure they are suitable for vegetarians and alcohol free). Most things are fine really.

Tesco were doing some baklava packs, including a chocolate covered one, which looked interesting.

I agree with no dates, I'm dated out!

Ubereats gift card

Get some nice baklava

Send a card (you can get these all over these days - or get a blank one with a nice picture of flowers on it), and something nice to eat is always good! I know dried fruit is popular - but they might end up with a million food baskets of dried fruit.

I send fancy brownies!

Charity donation is good too. People know which charity I support so I have had donations made in my name to that one for specific things (like when mum and dad died).

I noticed my local John Lewis have an Eid display at the moment, mainly decorations and boxes of chocolates

That's a nice thing to do. Anything that doesn't contain alcolohol or meat products would be fine. It is worth checking biscuits and chocolates carefully, it's amazing how many things gelatine is in!

Sweet things like chocs and biscuits are always popular if they are marked veggie. If he has young DDs sparkly accessories are always good too as everyone dresses up for eid and wears their best gear.

You can buy something sweet like a nice box of chocolate. Dates are used to break fast in my country so don't get dates! Eid is the end of Ramadan and we would normally take chocolate to those we visit or traditional baklava.

Yeah every website I've been on that has gifts had something for Eid.

Very lovely of you and sure your thoughtfulness will be much appreciated!

“I would avoid homemade food. It's a minefield with pork products and halal rules.”

It’s not really a minefield... just no non-halal meat and no alcohol. Pretend you’re cooking for a teetotal vegetarian.

Most home made gifts from non Muslims end up in the bin. Not in an offensive way but who knows what is in it.

Home made Eid presents certainly don't end up in the bin here! I trust my friends and neighbours not to do something daft.

granttoderek

What a bizarre comment. I am a non Muslim married to a Muslim. None of my DH’s friends or family would do this.

Anything I cook for them is homemade by a non Muslim!
People aren’t stupid - they are not about to stick bacon in some fairy cakes.

@grantoderek

Most home made gifts from non Muslims end up in the bin. Not in an offensive way but who knows what is in it.

Er, no. Please don't make divisive comments like this. I'm Muslim and certainly don't throw away home made gifts from non-Muslim friends/colleagues. Home made cake is amazing.

@JemimaTiggywinkle

“I would avoid homemade food. It's a minefield with pork products and halal rules.”

It’s not really a minefield... just no non-halal meat and no alcohol. Pretend you’re cooking for a teetotal vegetarian.

Unless, for example, you bake something in a tin that's previously had animal products in it, I. E. Meat, gelatine etc. Even though the item you're making is fine, it may have been made in something previously used to cook bacon in (for example)

OP - biscuits, chocolate, flowers, a plant, usually some vegetarian sweets or similar for kids

I've never known anyone bin an Eid gift, even dates (eaten every day during Ramadan) are eaten, after a break because they've been eaten every day during Ramadan!

As a fellow Muslim, I can reassure you that anything goes depending on what the person's interests are.

When it comes to food related gifts, anything that doesn't contain animal gelatin or alcohol is ok to give.

I would stay away from things like dates and baklava as he may not actually like them.

Food is a safe option generally.
If you don't know him that well then I would suggest a small cake from the supermarket, or a fancy dessert from a bakery, a box of fresh pastries, a potted flower or a box of chocolates.

I have personally received some lovely eid gifts but usually they are from people that know me well enough to know what I like.

The person that said Muslims through home made gifts straight into the bin is talking utter nonsense.

Home made gifts are so heart touching as that person has put time and effort into making something for you.
It's nice to be considered like that.

Unless, for example, you bake something in a tin that's previously had animal products in it, I. E. Meat, gelatine etc. Even though the item you're making is fine, it may have been made in something previously used to cook bacon in (for example)

From experience that depends on the particular person. I have cooked for number of friends of varied strictness and the only person who had issue with the dishes being previously used for pork was a guy who drunk even during Ramadan and that particular evening. That was the last time he was invited. Unfortunately that meant my friend couldn't come too (difficult situation).

However, there are normal muslims as well who wouldn't be comfortable with it, but most I met are absolutely fine. Let's face it. Unless someone eats only in halal restaurants, there is just no way dishes aren't used for pork and people are aware of it.

I made up a fruit basket & you can get eid cards

@SchrodingersImmigrant we always ask & dh goes veggie when in doubt - he does his best