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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent and child parking spaces

370 replies

WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:06

I’m aware I might get thrashed for this but here goes.

At what age child do you think you should stop using parent and child spaces? I went to the supermarket yesterday and there were no spaces left. I had to park quite far away with my baby so that I had somewhere with enough space to get everything sorted. On my way back to the spaces I noticed a woman getting back in the car with one child of about 12/23 years old. Child opened the back door, got in (no car seat), no issues.

AIBU to say that at that stage you should park in a normal spot and let others have the parking? I would understand if the child was heavy handed and might bash the door into a neighbouring car or something, but this child was far from that.

OP posts:
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Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 17:16

@fiheka yes I have seen these! Sadly we don’t have an ASDA near us, but they do look like the best option and their disabled spaces are always closest to the door too

OP posts:
HaveringWavering · 08/05/2021 17:16

[quote WeightyMama]@HaveringWavering I’m not going to leave my baby in a car without any kind of supervision? Maybe that’s wrong of me but I wouldnt do that. Confused[/quote]
You’d be a minute at most, surely, and able to see the car at all times. Do you never go into a different room to your baby at home?

Large car parks have trolley stations all over them, just park next to one of those, or use a non p and C space close to the main entrance if that’s where all the trolleys are.

CombatBarbie · 08/05/2021 17:16

Most of the supermarkets here have on their signage children up to 12yrs

GabsAlot · 08/05/2021 17:17

i'll say 12 to answer your quesiton or when out of a booster

Fembot123 · 08/05/2021 17:17

[quote WeightyMama]@Fembot123 oh I see, so people with serious pain issues are just weak are they? Lovely.[/quote]
Nope 👎 good try though.

lakesidelife · 08/05/2021 17:17

Regardless of P&C parking spaces.

seen as your health ,mobility and ability to carry a heavy car seat . it's irrelevant to where you can park wouldn't online home delivery be a better option for you considering all your limitations

This is a profoundly disablist comment.

People with health and mobility issues should not be told to shop online but be given appropriate support in the community.

Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 17:18

@ghostyslovesheets I’m not angry, I’m kissed off with a particular poster who is being really nasty towards me and my physical issues - that’s not acceptable.

I have said multiple times that I support other posters on here and their uses for the spaces. All I asked in my AIBU is what age the cut off is. Some people have been really vitriolic towards me for no reason, so yeah I am hitting back at those who have been unpleasant towards me first.

OP posts:
Dentistlakes · 08/05/2021 17:18

I stopped using them when mine were around 5. I certainly wouldn’t use one with an older child unless there was a specific need. My friend recently used one as her son had broken his leg and was on crutches.

flashylamp · 08/05/2021 17:19

@TheWatersofMarch

Blue badges are available for children with hidden disabilities. The wide spaces should be used only by pregnant women and children who need help to get in to car seats.

Hahaha - I almost pissed myself there Hmm

HaveringWavering · 08/05/2021 17:19

I mean, if you are driving along a motorway with the baby in the back you are not “supervising” her because you could not turn round to attend to her without pulling over and that may not be possible. There is no practical difference between this and leaving the baby safely strapped in in the car while you go to grab a trolley.

Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 17:20

@Fembot123 you literally called me a ‘milksop’ because I have said I struggle due to my back issues caused my a pelvic problem from birth - so actually yes. You’re attacking me and calling me a drama queen because I have a physical issue that causes me pain. You’ve take. The piss when I called it agony basically saying I should get over it.

Seriously what is wrong with you?

OP posts:
Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 17:21

@HaveringWavering I get what you mean, just feels really wrong to leave a baby in the car I guess! But maybe I need to wait for. Space nearer to the trolley bays and do this in future.

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 08/05/2021 17:21

Personally I think all the spaces should be big enough to open the car doors properly. The idea that only people with children need to open the door fully is absurd.

3AndStopping · 08/05/2021 17:21

Iminaglasscaseofemotion
YANBU but aot of people on MN just about wet themselves with the excitement of making sure a parent with young children should know they have no right to those parking spaces, anyone can park in them, and they will most definitely have a hidden disability (very rarely the case). It's quite pathetic.

This is so true...

The same group of people who are so defensive of disabled spaces, are the same ones frothing out the mouth over p&c ones. (I’ll be accused of saying pregnancy/child are a disability now.) 🙄

@VeganVeal no real reason then just more practical? Imagine how much more practical they are for people with children... Hmm

tedsletterofthelaw · 08/05/2021 17:22

My biggest issue with P&C spaces is how close they are to the front of the shop entrance. I appreciate the extra space to manoeuvre child in/out of the car far more than being a few feet closer to the entrance. It leaves them far more open to abuse and they could replace closer ones with more disabled spaces too.

caoraich · 08/05/2021 17:23

I definitely find them more useful now I have a mobile 3yr old than when she was a baby - there's space to get her out of the car seat and I like the ones right by stores as it feels safer being by the pavement vs middle of car park with a mobile toddler (i always reverse in and then she's blocked from running into the road by the car door)
In answer to your question, I do have a cousin with an 10 year old with a learning disability who finds these spaces really useful for the same reason as me. She's waiting to get a blue badge for him but it's taking ages and she's had lots of dirty looks using parent and child spaces Sad

I think for NT kids you don't need these spaces once they're trusted to be safe standing by the car and don't need help getting in/out of the seat

fiheka · 08/05/2021 17:24

I saw a fat man complain on facebook that he cant get in his car if people park too close to the door. I had some sympathy with this.
I agree parking spaces need to be bigger especially since some people have very large cars that take up a lot of width.

MumofSpud · 08/05/2021 17:24

My DD(15) just told me then when out with her gran (my DM) she parked in a 'family' space (department store out of town type of place) as it was signposted. A worker appeared (she said he had a shop uniform on) and said she couldn't park there.
My DM argued that they were family so he said it's a child space - again she argued that my DD was a child.
I am embarrassed to hear this as yes technically she was right but it is obvious these spaces are for parents with babies / toddlers who need a bigger space (car seats etc) and / or it is helpful to be nearer the shop.

Ladylimpet · 08/05/2021 17:24

I think I'd just send my partner tbh if my back was hurting like yours..or go by myself at night. Could that be an option? Might not be. I couldn't be bothered with the angst of all that.. trying to find a suitable place to park, dealing with car seats, trollies, shopping and a really bad back. Or online shopping 👍

lakesidelife · 08/05/2021 17:25

@poppycat10
I wasn't talking about blue badge spaces. I was highlighting that most of the designated users of P&C spaces are ok with sharing with spaces with other vulnerable users.
But there are some people on this thread who do not feel that people with smaller dc should be able to have P&C spaces at all.
In real life I only got support when I was out and about at the start with my dc and often got the most encouragement from older people who had used the blue badge parking.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 08/05/2021 17:26

All the more reason they should be abolished entirely. What did people do before them?

I'm one of those annoying people who has a child with hidden disabilities.

Original poster
WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 17:26

@fiheka definitely they should just make all spaces bigger generally. It would be fairer on everyone if car parks were just more adequate for everyone.

OP posts:
Onceuponatime1818 · 08/05/2021 17:26

I think without additional needs the cut off should be of age where they no longer need car seats, is that 11?

Chewbecca · 08/05/2021 17:27

I’d bring the trolley to my car, use internet shopping or leave the baby at home with its Dad if I had a bad back.

Having said that, I do think 12 is too old, 6-8 is probably the cut off for me so YANBU.

But the primary reason for the spaces isn’t proximity to store, it’s width of space.

peboh · 08/05/2021 17:27

I wouldn't judge, as I don't know the situation. The only time I ever get slightly miffed I when I see people using a parent-child bay when they have no children with them, though even then I try to reason that perhaps they're picking a child up, etc.