Parent and child parking spaces

[WeightyMama]

I’m aware I might get thrashed for this but here goes.

At what age child do you think you should stop using parent and child spaces? I went to the supermarket yesterday and there were no spaces left. I had to park quite far away with my baby so that I had somewhere with enough space to get everything sorted. On my way back to the spaces I noticed a woman getting back in the car with one child of about 12/23 years old. Child opened the back door, got in (no car seat), no issues.

AIBU to say that at that stage you should park in a normal spot and let others have the parking? I would understand if the child was heavy handed and might bash the door into a neighbouring car or something, but this child was far from that.

We stopped using them once the children were school aged. If they had additional needs, I would have used them for longer.

We didn’t need the extra space so left it for those in need.

If they are old enough to get in and out of the car themselves without bashing the door against the next vehicle, and they can behave sensibly around traffic while walking through a supermarket car park, then that's the cut-off IMO. So towards the end of primary school age. They don't need P&C spaces any more.

@Ladylimpet partner works away, so just me really. I may have to relent to online shopping, but going to the supermarket is an excuse to get out of the house and wander about, so I didn’t really want to do that! I may do what someone else has suggested and wait for a space nearer the trolly bay and nip out and leave baby in the car for 30 seconds whilst I grab one. X

[quote WeightyMama]@HaveringWavering I get what you mean, just feels really wrong to leave a baby in the car I guess! But maybe I need to wait for. Space nearer to the trolley bays and do this in future.[/quote]
To be clear, I do 100% agree with you that a parent with an able-bodied 12 year-old should not have been using a P&C space. Just offering a practical solution if this happens again.

Oh, yes, children with hidden disabilities can 'just' get a blue badge. Haaahaahaaaa!!! Had to go to tribunal to get middle rate DLA for our son - the psychiatrist, the social workers, etc etc were all making it up for sure.

[quote WeightyMama]@Ladylimpet partner works away, so just me really. I may have to relent to online shopping, but going to the supermarket is an excuse to get out of the house and wander about, so I didn’t really want to do that! I may do what someone else has suggested and wait for a space nearer the trolly bay and nip out and leave baby in the car for 30 seconds whilst I grab one. X[/quote]
Or stand by the car, pound in hand, and accost a passerby who is on their way to return their trolley

If you have pelvic issues you shouldn’t be carrying the car seat. It’s the worst thing you can do. The physio told me off a lot as it was the car seat that had damaged me.

Unfortunately a lot of people are selfish arses when it comes down to the parent and child spaces. Most people who aren’t twats would acknowledge parents with babies and toddlers will generally have more of a need than parents of older children (disabilities excepted). It is significantly easier to get my 4 year old out of the car than my 2 year old. I can trust that my 4 year old won’t leg it into the car park and when I’m just with the older one I don’t need to faff around with buggies etc.

I remember once when I had the car seat on the buggy, someone had parked so close to me I couldn’t get it back in. I had to hold the baby while trying to manoeuvre the car seat in upside down. It was hideous and not particularly safe.

I use them and my two are 5 and 9. If there’s a spot free I’ll take it. Likewise when mine were babies and there weren’t any spots. I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. It’s convenient but not essential. If you have a disability then of course that’s different and as such should use those designated spaces.

@Twizbe
That's interesting! I am heavily pregnant (I'm huge and have been since about 25 weeks! I'm 31 weeks now). I struggle to get out of the car! I have awful SPD so walking long distances hurts too. I was saying to my husband that sometimes I wish I could use a P&C space.

What is the general consensus on this? Would the majority of people support a heavily pregnant woman using these spaces?

Fair enough op. I'd try online shopping while you're feeling really bad with your back. But I get it's annoying and not much fun for you. I get annoyed seeing couples use the p & c spaces.. inconsiderate. But these people are everywhere and think the world revolves around them. No avoiding the selfish arseholes. Think we have to just let things go, or it would drive us bonkers.

I wish they would just get rid of them. Parents can park at the back in the empty spaces if they really need too.
If they were put at the very back of the car park, they wouldn’t get used in the main I suspect.

[quote user392610]@Twizbe
That's interesting! I am heavily pregnant (I'm huge and have been since about 25 weeks! I'm 31 weeks now). I struggle to get out of the car! I have awful SPD so walking long distances hurts too. I was saying to my husband that sometimes I wish I could use a P&C space.

What is the general consensus on this? Would the majority of people support a heavily pregnant woman using these spaces? [/quote]
Of course! You have a child with you, making it difficult to manoeuvre- it just happens to be unborn

I stopped when DD was about 5 I think. Basically when she could get in and out of the car by herself and wasn’t likely to rush off in front of cars. I didn’t let her open the car door by herself at that age though - she had to wait until I opened it for her.

Not every Disability is visible to others, l know a 15 year old boy who suffers from severe learning difficulties that cause him to be paranoid about being out walking near traffic, the car and his own personal space within that car (no other car will do) are his security against suffering from panic attacks and public meltdowns.

Visibly he looks quite normal, Mentally he is far from it, his Mum has to use a child space to get him as near as possible to his destination, to attend appointments and on a good day visit the shops for a few treats.
Yet there are some people out there who don’t recognise what the Sunflower lanyard means, and start hurling abuse at him or his Mum for taking up a space that they believe should only be for parents using a buggy or shopping trolley for their child to access wherever they are going. If they could see the damage and aftermath of their selfish often foul mouthed shouting at this poor boy, and the aftermath, I’m sure they would think again.

Not only for Daniel’s sake, but for other disabled children and youngsters like him, yes he does have a Blue Badge with his own name on it, but often the spaces are either fully occupied, kerbside on a busy road, or quite some distance away from the main entrance of his Destination.

@Dustyhedge I didn’t realise that! Thank you for telling me. Maybe I will have to give in and get online deliveries, it would help at the other end when heaving all the shopping in too!

Our local Sainsbury's have more blue badge than parent and child spaces and they're nearly always empty and the few parent and child ones are always full it's ridiculous

The number of blue badge spaces is dictated by law. The number of P&C spaces aren’t.

I guarantee when the car park is even approaching busy, BB spaces will be taken by people who shouldn’t be using them. We frequently can’t park in one because they are all full. This trope that BB holders are well served by spaces is misleading and causes people to think they can just use them anyway.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I wish they would just get rid of them. Parents can park at the back in the empty spaces if they really need too. If they were put at the very back of the car park, they wouldn’t get used in the main I suspect.

But what if cars park on either side while the parent is in the shop? In my local supermarket the car park is often properly full, absolutely no guarantee that there will be any area where there are lots of empty spaces.

@1940s

Anyone who believes a parent with an able bodied no sen 12 year old has the same rights to a large space (usually) closer to the shops than a parent who needs to open the doors wider to fit a child into a car seat, or in this specific instance put a car seat in and out is talking out of their arse. Nobody can defend that logic that the parent of the 12 year old has the same needs and entitlement to that space than a parent with car seat / moving car seats. There is absolutely no reason a parent with an able bodied 12 year old with no sen needs to have a parent and child space. Regardless of the sign in the shop use your bloody common sense and make life a little easier on people that need it.

“Needs” and “entitlement” can’t be used interchangeably here. The person with the baby has the greater need but both parents have equal entitlement and are within the rules (though it’s a nice gesture if those who don’t need the spaces choose not to use that entitlement).

Childless here, for context. I would have thought the idea of these spaces is that they are a little bigger, and the purpose is that a parent has space to open the door to help a child in and out of a car seat? Therefore it would be reasonable to not use them once your child is able to get in and out of a car by themselves. However, I take my elderly mother shopping and I always need to help her in and out of the car and help her do the seatbelt up, so I believe that as a parent child combination I should also be allowed to park there, although if I did I'm sure I'd get flamed by parents with babies for misusing the space. There's no need for these parent spaces to be next to the door, nothing wrong with your legs. Why not have disabled and elderly spaces by the door?

[quote user392610]@Twizbe
That's interesting! I am heavily pregnant (I'm huge and have been since about 25 weeks! I'm 31 weeks now). I struggle to get out of the car! I have awful SPD so walking long distances hurts too. I was saying to my husband that sometimes I wish I could use a P&C space.

What is the general consensus on this? Would the majority of people support a heavily pregnant woman using these spaces? [/quote]
If I even noticed I’d think you absolutely should use them.
I don’t think in RL people notice other’s parking like many on MN seem to do. Being the self appointed parking police must be exhausting.

I wouldn't dream of parking in one of those spaces either with older kids or without kids

WeightyMama Yes it’s something about the distribution of the weight as well as the weight itself. Physio said it was much better to carry the baby close to chest rather than having the car seat dangling down. I still ended up doing it but tried really hard not to.

[quote user392610]@Twizbe
That's interesting! I am heavily pregnant (I'm huge and have been since about 25 weeks! I'm 31 weeks now). I struggle to get out of the car! I have awful SPD so walking long distances hurts too. I was saying to my husband that sometimes I wish I could use a P&C space.

What is the general consensus on this? Would the majority of people support a heavily pregnant woman using these spaces? [/quote]
Yes, I was mahoosive and had to use them when heavily pregnant and wouldn’t judge another for doing so.

@Vikingintraining

Childless here, for context. I would have thought the idea of these spaces is that they are a little bigger, and the purpose is that a parent has space to open the door to help a child in and out of a car seat? Therefore it would be reasonable to not use them once your child is able to get in and out of a car by themselves. However, I take my elderly mother shopping and I always need to help her in and out of the car and help her do the seatbelt up, so I believe that as a parent child combination I should also be allowed to park there, although if I did I'm sure I'd get flamed by parents with babies for misusing the space. There's no need for these parent spaces to be next to the door, nothing wrong with your legs. Why not have disabled and elderly spaces by the door?

She might qualify for a blue badge, probably worth checking.

It sounds like a sling would be more suitable for your shopping trips OP. They distribute weight better and you are only carrying baby, not baby plus car seat. Trying to manoeuvre a trolley with a car seat on won't be helping your pelvic issues either.