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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent and child parking spaces

370 replies

WeightyMama · 08/05/2021 15:06

I’m aware I might get thrashed for this but here goes.

At what age child do you think you should stop using parent and child spaces? I went to the supermarket yesterday and there were no spaces left. I had to park quite far away with my baby so that I had somewhere with enough space to get everything sorted. On my way back to the spaces I noticed a woman getting back in the car with one child of about 12/23 years old. Child opened the back door, got in (no car seat), no issues.

AIBU to say that at that stage you should park in a normal spot and let others have the parking? I would understand if the child was heavy handed and might bash the door into a neighbouring car or something, but this child was far from that.

OP posts:
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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/05/2021 19:25

I stopped using them when my youngest was about 5, which was when I felt I no longer needed them. But I guess it depends on your individual needs.

I definitely think they are important for parents of young children, and that no one should park in them unless they actually jeee to. Leave them for the struggling new parent with a big car seat to pull out, or the parent of (for example) three under five, who has to heard them all.

8dpwoah · 08/05/2021 19:26

If it were me making the rules I'd say age 8- thinking about what different school age brackets are capable of an NT KS2 child should be able to hop out of a car safely in a normal space or at least be sensible enough if the space is tight. But that's me working with them not yet parenting them so I may be a bit out! 12/13? Definitely not. Secondary age is taking the pee.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/05/2021 19:29

I think you stop when your youngest child can climb safely in and out of the car unaided, and can correctly do up and undo their own seatbelt by themselves. At that stage you dont need the extra space either side, needing the door open as wide as possible to navigate lifting a young child in and out, positioning into bulky car seats and reaching over to get seat belts sorted.

It's going to vary a lot obviously but assuming NT and no disabilities it shouldn't be necessary with only kids in secondary and above.

8dpwoah · 08/05/2021 19:34

I also would support them being far away from the shop with a safe walkway- in one supermarket I used when I took DD there were spaces miles away that had the left hand side next to a curb (think near the recycling bins) and I used to just plop in those if only needed to use the pushchair to carry the shopping because the extra little walk helped get her settled and it was a stress-free parking option.

It could also be argued that maybe all parking spaces should be a little bit bigger to accommodate the tend towards bigger cars- there's certainly some shops and car parks I avoid because the layout is poor and I don't even drive a big car (just every bugger else seems to!)

Justgorgeous · 08/05/2021 19:37

My daughter is 5 and I still park there. I also park there with my elderly father as he has such bad arthritis in his legs he needs space.

Bourbonic · 08/05/2021 22:07

[quote WeightyMama]@Bourbonic I have to put my baby in the car seat in the trolley. Baby and car seat are really very heavy and I have a bad back, so having it closer would be a big help for me.[/quote]
If your back is that bad that you need to be nearer the door then apply for a blue badge. The spaces are meant to give more room for getting children in and out of the car, and safe passage to the store.

Incidentally, at my local supermarket the parent and child spaces are about as far from the door as can be and there are always always empty spaces there.

Sarjest · 08/05/2021 22:29

My Dad once insisted that we use a P&C space (no age limit) because ‘he is my parent and I am his child’ but I thought he wasn’t acting in the spirit of the arrangement. I am in my fifties and he is in his eighties! I didn’t argue though. The disabled spots were taken so we couldn’t park there.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 08/05/2021 22:46

What really needs to happen is for the shops to stop jamming as many parks in as possible at the bare minimum size allowance and instead lose a park per row and make them all a bit wider.

PurpleDaisies · 08/05/2021 22:49

@Sarjest

My Dad once insisted that we use a P&C space (no age limit) because ‘he is my parent and I am his child’ but I thought he wasn’t acting in the spirit of the arrangement. I am in my fifties and he is in his eighties! I didn’t argue though. The disabled spots were taken so we couldn’t park there.
So he had a blue badge? Of course using a p and c space is fine.
purplebagladylovesgin · 08/05/2021 22:57

12 years a child parking space it very much needed, but probably not for the reasons young children need them.

All my children around 12 years old have struggled getting the car door open gently, just enough to squeeze out in a car park. Especially the rear doors.

The result is a bump to the next car along as the door opens and this is after we stop and I remind them!

I said thank you for the child parking spaces every single time.

By 14 they had this figured out. But I've left lots of notes of apology on windscreens in my time.

flashylamp · 08/05/2021 23:03

@purplebagladylovesgin

12 years a child parking space it very much needed, but probably not for the reasons young children need them.

All my children around 12 years old have struggled getting the car door open gently, just enough to squeeze out in a car park. Especially the rear doors.

The result is a bump to the next car along as the door opens and this is after we stop and I remind them!

I said thank you for the child parking spaces every single time.

By 14 they had this figured out. But I've left lots of notes of apology on windscreens in my time.

Tell your 12 year old to wait and open the door for him so you have control
boomboom1234 · 08/05/2021 23:06

A lot of people are saying it's about the walk. It's not that at all it's the width of the space. When you have to lift toddlers and babies in you need to be able to open their door fully. It should be for children up to age where they need help getting in and out of their seat.

BettyOBarley · 08/05/2021 23:08

I stopped using them with DD when she was old enough to fasten her own seatbelt, so I didn't need to open the door wide to do it for her.

DandelionRose · 08/05/2021 23:16

I think P&C spaces are more than just about extra room for getting baby seats in.

Car parks are full of (by nature) moving cars, reversing cars, people distracted by looking for spaces etc. Just today I had to stop suddenly along with another shopper (both of us with trolleys) whilst a car suddenly started reversing out of their spot. Car didn't even slow or stop when at all when reversing which suggests they hadn't checked their mirrors at all even though we could easily be seen if they had. We had to wait (and shift back a bit) for the car to finish its reversing manoeuvre before we could continue.

Children who are walking are still usually shorter than the height of most cars, so they can't be easily seen by reversing drivers. P&C spaces are usually closer to the doors and/or a safe walkway for the safety of the children. Parents can have 2 or 3 DCs in tow whilst pushing a heavy trolley, so they aren't physically able to hold onto them.

I don't begrudge a P&C parking space to a parent with a child/children of 12 or under. Children are vulnerable in car parks. It's not all about ease of opening doors for baby seats.

Plus children can be heavy handed when swinging the door open and are more likely to bash the car next to them with the car door than an adult, so the extra room comes in handy there.

youngermodel · 08/05/2021 23:19

My eldest is 7 and I still have to reach right over to strap him in so a parent/child space is good because I can open the door fully.

Saz12 · 08/05/2021 23:19

Shops have them because owners of wider cars who also have children spend far more money on the weekly shop than single people do.
What’s the food budget of a Range Rover driver with two kids as compared to a Suzuki Alto with no kids? If I were Mr Tesco I know who Id want as a shopper (sorry Mr Suzuki Alto!).
But

DandelionRose · 08/05/2021 23:21

purplebaglady That's what child locks on the rear doors of cars are for! As for the front passenger seat (no child lock) which my eldest sometimes travels in, I say to WAIT until I open the car door for her in tighter spots so she can't bash the car next door. I've drummed into them to always think before opening a car door.

youngermodel · 08/05/2021 23:21

@Biker47

I'm assuming that's meant to be 12/13, not 23.

Either way, the spaces are just marketing gimmicks set up by the supermarkets anyways.

Er they are actually very useful so not a gimmick!
youngermodel · 08/05/2021 23:22

@Saz12

Shops have them because owners of wider cars who also have children spend far more money on the weekly shop than single people do. What’s the food budget of a Range Rover driver with two kids as compared to a Suzuki Alto with no kids? If I were Mr Tesco I know who Id want as a shopper (sorry Mr Suzuki Alto!). But
....and your point is?
Rosebel · 08/05/2021 23:40

I have noticed the only benefit to the p&c spaces in our local store is that they are close to the store. They don't seem to be awfully wide. Our rear doors slide back so it's not too bad but it's still tight getting my son in and out. There is no way I could open the door fully without hitting the car next to me.

diamondpony80 · 08/05/2021 23:40

I guess once they’re finished primary school? I don’t know really, I never really bothered with those spaces even when the kids were in a car seat. Our local supermarket car parks have plenty of space.

NowRightHere · 09/05/2021 00:10

I have a 10 year old with a fairly hidden disability (not eligible for a blue badge) that makes them unsafe in traffic, so if they are with me and there are lots of p&c spaces, I will use one if it makes walking back from the supermarket pushing a trolley, when I can’t hold their hand, safer. I don’t use the spaces when there are only a few because I think parents with babies/small children in car seats have a greater need, or if I am just with my other child. So I am probably sometimes judged by people.

purplebagladylovesgin · 09/05/2021 00:32

@DandelionRose I wish I'd known this! They are late teens and into their 20's now.....

mainsfed · 09/05/2021 00:35

@JocastaNu

OP. This is Mumsnet. Anyone who thinks that P&C spaces should only be used by parents with children in car seats gets heavily criticised on here for not taking into account that the user may have some hidden disability etc.

It's never the case on Mumsnet that some people are just selfish feckers who use the spaces because they are too lazy to walk the extra distance.

Actually blue badges holders are permitted to park in parents with children bays, and rightly so.
mainsfed · 09/05/2021 00:36

@Saz12

Shops have them because owners of wider cars who also have children spend far more money on the weekly shop than single people do. What’s the food budget of a Range Rover driver with two kids as compared to a Suzuki Alto with no kids? If I were Mr Tesco I know who Id want as a shopper (sorry Mr Suzuki Alto!). But
What’s the make of car got to do with it?! So snobby.