Colleague

[sparklestarry]

In the grand scheme of life this is quite minor but it’s grating on me and I need to rant.

So I’ve just returned to work after 1 year mat leave on statutory pay. It wasn’t the plan to take the full year as my pay is dreadful but my baby is premature and we are now getting help for her slow development. I’ve only worked 12 days so far! My job is full time includes 2 Saturdays per month (not part of my salary but paid separately) however in the interview I did say my husband works shifts and I will work whatever Saturdays I can but it may be tricky. Before I went on mat leave I almost always, bar a couple of times, put in those 2 days each month. So now restrictions have lifted immediate family from across the border want to visit and see the baby in 2 months time so I emailed other colleagues explaining my situation and said if there were cover that’s great if not I’ll of course work it, it would just be nice for them if I’m there. Colleague who thinks she’s my boss (I think she genuinely does but I’ve been told otherwise several times by actual boss who I never see) basically emailed a narky response saying that they assumed I would be going back to 2 Saturdays per month because they tend to work late (sometimes there’s out of hours appointments but rarely) as for working late it’s their own choice no one is forcing them to and it will be unpaid. I was told From now on we need you to do the 2 days per month. I responded saying that’s fine because I did actually say if there’s no takers I would still work it. I’m just asking because sometimes people have special events or holidays that I would help out with if I can. Another couple of emails went back and forth saying she thought I wasn’t available much because of DHs hours etc, that’s she’s really tired and thought she would get some rest now I’m back, but it ended in her sending very happy email probably because she got her way.
It’s hard slotting back into work, it used to be just the 2 of us but upon my return there’s another 2 staff members now in helping her every day plus me. So she has plenty of support now. I’m sick of her throwing her weight around but unfortunately the big bosses always side with her because she works 24/7 and therefore brings in the money. I know this is minor compared to other folks problems but thoughts?

I think you were taking the piss, trying to wriggle out of the unsocial hours so soon after returning from a year’s maternity leave.

@HeddaGarbled not really. I said I would work it. You say mat leave as if I've had a years holiday. I've been home alone with no support or visitors for a year with a toddler and a struggling premature baby and DH that's hardly ever around because he's a key worker doing 15 hour shifts. I know the timing is poor I get that, but the pandemic prevented family from meeting the baby and all I said is that it would be nice if I were there.

I think this is a situation where you just have to smile politely and ignore her barbed comments, whether those are by email or in person.

I can't really work out from your post if you really want to do the two Saturdays now, or if you are just putting up with it because it is expected.

I'd probably leave it a few weeks, demonstrate your willingness to work, then have a word with the bosses and say that now the team has expanded, is there a different view of how the Saturday cover work should be split. Explain that you obviously now have a young family, you are keen to spend time with your child and so you'd be interested in re-visiting how the extra work is staffed.

Is it not possible for you to take a day's holiday to see your family?

@RainingZen I suppose I'm in two minds about the Saturdays. I do them and don't utterly hate it but it's hard going working 6 days twice per month. It leaves 1 day in the week and you inevitably just end up doing chores and preparing for the next 5/6 days of work.

@AssassinatedBeauty yes I'm taking Friday off. Saturdays I cannot request as a holiday because it's completely separate from my salary. It is paid separately too.

You say mat leave as if I've had a years holiday. I've been home alone with no support or visitors for a year with a toddler and a struggling premature baby and DH that's hardly ever around because he's a key worker doing 15 hour shifts. I know the timing is poor I get that, but the pandemic prevented family from meeting the baby and all I said is that it would be nice if I were there

While I sympathise, none of that negates the fact that you have just returned to work and are already trying to dump your unsocial hours shifts onto your colleagues.

Your colleagues will have had their own difficulties and struggles over the last year, as we all have.

@HeddaGarbled cover is supposed to be provided if I can't do it due to special events or holidays. I still have the right to take holidays etc and I'm giving 2 months notice.

Stop working the weekends

You say mat leave as if I've had a years holiday. I've been home alone with no support or visitors for a year

sorry but that's completely irrelevant, you had a year off - and you WILL really annoy your colleagues if you play the martyr card.

That said, as long as you were as clear as your OP, I don't think you did anything wrong: since when is it a problem to ask just in case.

Just don't go into an argument or a discussion with your colleague about it.

yes I'm taking Friday off

whilst people shouldn't be bothered, as it's a day off you are due anyway and will take at some point or other, it never look great when you just come back.

By experience, it really irritate people that you can accrue paid holidays whilst already on leave! Which is understandable.

Why can't your family visit on one of the weekends you're not working Saturday?

What is your contract? Do what this says. Drop the Saturday contract. I don't really understand how it works.

Yes stop working weekends.

Why can't your family visit a weekend you aren't working?

Too confused to fomment

Don't work them anymore, tell them you no longer need the extra money and they'll have to find someone else for the extra hours. 2 months is plenty of notice. The Saturdays are not in your contract and they can't discipline you in your normal job for not doing extra that isn't included and you didn't agree to.

Working Saturdays sucks, I used to do six days a week three weeks then five for one and so on, so I feel your pain. There’s nothing that would piss me off about someone trying to swap one of their Saturdays, providing they didn’t get all ‘what about my kids??’ about it, that does put peoples noses out of joint sometimes.
You haven’t really done anything wrong besides engaging in a back and forth. Why didn’t you just ignore it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think it's very poor of your work to allow you to take a Friday off but not the Saturday. They need to rethink how they staff it.

Personally, in your shoes with a young family, I'd start looking for other work that doesn't my involve working Saturdays especially if this work is not particularly well paid. And if they ask you why you left you can say it's the inflexibility of the Saturday shifts.

Sounds like you have had a very rough time and I’m sorry for you. Do you already know you’ll be working that particular Saturday or has it not been finalised yet? If it’s not been finalised and you’re just asking if it might be possible work a different Saturday instead (but still two in the month as before) I think that’s very reasonable, especially with plenty of notice.
It can annoy colleagues when someone who has been away from work (for whatever reason) comes back and straight away starts asking for flexibility or books time off. But I still think you’ve made a reasonable request and said you are still willing to work it. Sounds like your colleague is a bit of a misery tbh. Just remember if she ever wants cover for a Saturday you unfortunately won’t be able to help her.

I don’t this should be discussed by email . Also annual leave if you want to book time off .
I once went for a job that was the occasional Saturday I turned it down because I could foresee problems like this I don’t want to work Saturdays no matter how infrequent. Suck it up , book time off or find another job .
Speak to your line manager about timer off / hours not your colleagues.

I think you're being unreasonable, everyone's had a hard year. Lots of us have been isolated and stressed for a year. Your colleague was probably truthful in her response that she hoped you being back was going to lighten the load. You don't work every Saturday and then the one you do have to work you are trying to get out of. If it is part of your job, which it sounds like despite the separate contract, then you just have to deal with it. My dp works every Saturday and so we have to make plans on other days, like Sundays or take annual leave. Find another job if you're unhappy.

@ponderinginpoughkeepsie thanks. I posted on here to gain perspective because I do think of other and I do care about how my actions impact on others. I suppose I am defensive because this woman is a complete control freak and I've realised that we could have 20 people working with us and she still wouldn't be happy and still say her life is hard. So I do recognise that I'm a bit touchy as a result.

Well in update I was in town and walking by the office so stuck my head into my office just to say hello as it's not my turn to do the Saturday today. So I said hello to the girl covering and who was there on her day off but the said colleague who just emailed saying she needs a rest and I need to do my fair share. She has a family ..........it is her day off...... is this not rather hypocritical?

@sparklestarry

Well in update I was in town and walking by the office so stuck my head into my office just to say hello as it's not my turn to do the Saturday today. So I said hello to the girl covering and who was there on her day off but the said colleague who just emailed saying she needs a rest and I need to do my fair share. She has a family ..........it is her day off...... is this not rather hypocritical?

If she genuinely does live for work, she's probably driven herself into the ground.

Can't your family visit on one of the Saturdays you're not working?