AIBU to not want to date a really gorgeous guy

[Bbub]

OK so by gorgeous I mean a typical hot guy, obviously not everyone's cup of tea but you could say mass appeal... Tall, chiseled, done modelling, I just know he woke up that gorgeous.

Im chatting to a guy who I just feel is too good looking and I feel ridiculous for it, but it's making me be not as attacted to him as my initial "phwoar" reaction 🥴

I don't want to be the one who's got someone out of their league.. I prefer to be the good looking one in a pairing. Yes I know that sounds really shallow.

But does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

YABU stop being pathetic
YANBU it's not just you

I feel the same way. I'm always more drawn to men who are imperfect in an asthetic sense. I like to think of them as being good looking bit having a bit of character (visually, not that pretty people don't have personality). That said I wouldn't write him off if he seems a nice, genuine guy,

Do you like him?

Have you actually met him? Is the pic definitely him?

Always be the good looking one in the relationship.

Always.

Yanbu

I've dated hot men but no way could I be married to one. Constantly seeing other women flirt with them etc. It's exhausting.

Very happy with my average looking DH!

Wow. Lookism.

Done this once before in a relationship (also had flings with v good looking guys).

As well as being good looking, he had great charisma and a tangible sexiness about him. Women fell over themselves tbh. Women would ask him out in front of me (ignoring me) and I remember once we arrived at a holiday home and the female owner (who had a husband!) kept pawing at him. But he was loyal, more loyal than the average blokes I've dated.

I couldnt rule a man out based on this alone. If you like him, surely you should see how it goes and get a feel for him in person? ()

@ZednotZee

Always be the good looking one in the relationship.

Always.

This

I also prefer to be the good looking one but I've had 2 exes moaning I'm out of their league. That wasn't ideal either!

If you're just chatting, does that mean you've not met him yet? If so, you're worrying about dating someone you're not actually dating.

YABU.

@DrSbaitso I'm 99% sure it's him as I've done a lot of Internet stalking and see a lot of details on his social media that match up to what he's said, and his voice matches the video I found on a work related website (I've done so much stalking for shame )

And I do like him, not major chemistry, just exploring..

But its something I'm interested in outside of this particular match, you know, for all the future times an adonis looking guy is after me!

Get your shit together.

Seriously, why wouldn't you want your man to be hot?!?!?

Have you chatted via video or just seen a pic? I always wonder why really good looking people would need to look online.

Anyway, looks aren't everything, but if it affects your confidence, then maybe it's not for you, as it creates insecurity and can affect the relationship.

I know exactly what you mean.
I feel the same.

Im new to online dating after separating from husband last year and I automatically swipe no on anyone I think is too good looking.

I also prefer to be the 'better looking' one in a pairing.

My first ever boyfriend looked like a male model & treated women like objects. He was a total sh*t. I've never dated anyone like him since.I like a big personality & average looks. I'd say I'm attractive. Also , he had what my Dad called 'Empty Vase Syndrome: Nice to look at, but nothing in it'. After the sex calmed down, he bored me witless. All he talked about was how many women fancied him & his car. I like someone kind & funny , interested in books, films, history, comedy, psychology. Convesation fuels the sex & the relationship for me .

I like a hot man, just not as hot as me.

Relationships are transactional and being the looker gives you a certain leverage.

Yeah so nothing has happened yet but it's a more general discussion I wanted to have as I mentioned above...

I am worried about what a few PP have mentioned, other women flirting in front of me..

Also the whole "always be the good looking one in a relationship" thing, I really feel this. And I wonder is it because a woman's attractiveness is so linked to her perceived societal value, if you get me? So we don't want to ever look comparatively less attractive? Just thinking out loud

What is his personality like? You could become one of those good looking couples.

@hamstersarse yes part of me is like God I DESERVE a total hottie, why the hell not

I know what you mean, I don't fancy male model types. I can appreciate they're good looking, but I wouldn't want to date one.

Have you met him though? He might have a lot of charisma in real life, or alternatively he might look nothing like his photos!

But what if the other person in the relationship wants to be the better looking one too, who decides who's the most attractive?

Hot men come with additional unwanted problems, normally not worth it.

Have sex with, maybe....
A relationship with, no!

Honestly I think its less to do with societal value and more the case that he won't worship the ground you walk on if he thinks he's better looking than you.
Now personally I like to be adored and being better looking is a short cut to achieving this.

It would put me off him straight away, I don't find perfect looking men attractive. They are like a posh car, nice to look at but wouldn't want to drive one every day, give me someone with imperfections any day, I don't like thin men, bodybuilder types, men with hair, give me a chunky bald man any day of the week.