Has anyone changed their behaviour as a neighbour based on reading about twatty neighbours on AIBU

[Mooloolabababy]

So, not really a TAAT, but I'm noticing a lot of threads on twatty neighbour behaviour. The general consensus is the same as to what usually constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behaviour (music on all day, music outdoors, yappy dogs is always a no no) so much so that it makes me wonder in what world do these neighbours think that their behaviour is acceptable? It also got me thinking, has anyone changed their behaviour (that they initially thought was acceptable) based on reading what is unacceptable on Mumsnet?
So AIBU in thinking that not all shitty neighbours stay shitty neighbours and if they see that the general consensus is against them they will change?

I've moved my garden incinerator.

I used to check that neighbours didn't have washing out etc but reading on here, some people get really upset if they even smell a bonfire while walking to their car (not sure why).

I only have a neighbour to the north, and a field to the south, so I've moved the incinerator to the further boundary away from NDN. No idea if they'll notice.

I brought my wind chimes in after a thread on here. I didn't realise how loathed they were. My neighbours will never know how much they owe mn.

I'd be happy if they muted the chimes unless they were out there. It's been stormy, so they're going mad. They don't notice as they're rarely out in the garden.

@Febo24

I do think twice about the volume of my radio on a weekend morning after a thread on here. It's not consistent, it's not terrible, super early or super loud. But was probably enough to punctuate your tranquil first coffee of the day and not necessary. Unless a really really good song comes on and I want to dance. Around lunch I see as fair game if I want sound in the garden.

I really think if you want sound in the garden on a regular basis you need to use headphones. Fine for the occasional party, but not fair to make others listen to your soundtrack more than that.

If I’m hanging washing out or gardening on my own (rare these days, I’m usually accompanied by toddlers) then I like to listen to music or a podcast or an audiobook. I put one headphone in

I used to love my neighbour's wind chimes 🤷‍♀️.

@Shoxfordian

Yabu because these people don’t care if they’re bothering or inconveniencing anyone else

Exactly.

Not neighbours but I now take a hostess gift when going to family for a dinner. I didn't used to because it was family. And I know they wouldn't.... 😇

I love to hear children playing on the garden (not a full on scream fest, just messing around and laughter). Don't mind bbqs either or the occasional party. My twatty neighbours regularly have screaming matches and I was woken at 1am this morning by her shouting 'give me my fucking car keys, it's my car, you fuck' (were in a semi with what appears to be paper thin walls) this isn't a one off and very much doubt that she'd change her behaviour if she read mumsnet as she doesn't give a crap about anyone but herself

@mumieone

Oh Mumieone, what I truly LOVE about your patronising post extolling the superior virtues of the "educated" classes is that you wrote "abnoxious" and "Thier" ( never mind your grammar and punctuation issues). The irony of your post is a beauty to behold. Thank you ( and I'm normally not part of the Spelling or Grammar police brigade, unless well-deserved like now ...).

I was always going to quit smoking at some point ,but reading about smoking on my own balcony impacting on my neighbours was the wakeup call I needed. They never complained but they were so sweet and they were delighted when I told them 🤗. They moved out and were replaced by arseholes so I am glad I quit when I did , otherwise I would have increased my smoking to piss them off 😆.

I highly doubt that my creep of a neighbour has read any threads on here nor changed their slimeball behaviour.

Noisy neighbours KNOW they are noisy and are upsetting people but they do not care. My friends ex-neighbour had police intervention and her child taken off her and it didnt change her behaviour. They all believe they can do as they like.

After one bad night with her shouting music, drug taking from 12am until 6am my friend knocked her door at 8am and she was furious because SHE was disturbed.
Noisy neighbours are so sensitive to others noise like mowing the grass, filling a skip, watering the garden!

[quote YankeeinKingArthursCourt]**@mumieone

Oh Mumieone, what I truly LOVE about your patronising post extolling the superior virtues of the "educated" classes is that you wrote "abnoxious" and "Thier" ( never mind your grammar and punctuation issues). The irony of your post is a beauty to behold. Thank you ( and I'm normally not part of the Spelling or Grammar police brigade, unless well-deserved like now ...).[/quote]

Anything to say about that @mumieone ???

We make sure not to mow/trim hedges before 9:30, 10 on Sunday, as a result of threads on here. We never started stupidly early, maybe 9, but pushed it back anyway.

The funny thing is that with a baby and toddler I would rather people started doing noisy garden jobs earlier in the morning

My neighbour without fail decides to start chopping wood and drilling stuff during naptime, probably 3-4 times a week. Which doesn’t actually disturb the children at all but it is infuriating that it’s during my time of peace and quiet and it was really irritating when I was pregnant with my second and wanted to use the time to nap myself!

I don’t say anything because he isn’t doing anything wrong, but it goes to show that you’re never going to please everybody

@ineedaholidayandwine

We make sure not to mow/trim hedges before 9:30, 10 on Sunday, as a result of threads on here. We never started stupidly early, maybe 9, but pushed it back anyway.

@ littlepattilou - not much to say is there? I mean you can just see this type of person sitting up there in the clouds in their little angel fancy dress with their imaginary wand reprimanding all of us down here on earth with an opinion but afraid to have one of their own. I would say 'gotta laugh' but it's not even funny it's just a little sad.

@MooseBreath

If I'm having people over in the garden, we're very likely having a barbeque and playing music (at a reasonable volume). It's not an everyday occurrence. I genuinely don't see the issue with this, though I'm sure some tight-arsed people will tell me I'm rude to enjoy my own outdoor space how I see fit. As my DS gets older, he will also use the garden to play, and he gasp may even laugh, jump on a trampoline, and kick footballs!

So agree with this! Your house is there to be enjoyed! Everything in moderation of course - if these noises were all the time it would be different! These threads actually make me a bit anxious! We're having our first ever bbq in July (will have been here 2 years) and I've already notified the neighbours in advance!

Unfortunately I have come across the 'it's a free country' kind of attitude (actual words said), where if it isn't illegal they think it's OK to do it. Never mind the fact it's antisocial 🙄

Our neighbours are brilliant, except one does let her dog bark for 5 mins or so before bothering to bring him in. So when we got our puppy we made sure to go out straight away to him if he so much as whimpers. Luckily he only ever barks at our cat if he wants his attention.

Garden noise from neighbours doesn't bother me (don't have screaming kids next me though) but I have realised that I live somewhere with lots of background noise. We have a faint hum from a traffic bridge (it's high and the noise travels for miles), a railway line nearby, usually noise from the airport ten miles away so it must be quite different to start with silence.
My closest neighbour is in her 80s and I dread her moving away as she is lovely and also slightly deaf. She claims that she never hears the kids through the walls.

Our neighbours back in the day were trying for a baby and he was a gardener who left for work at 6am... sooo at 5am every day we were woken up by very loud sex sounds. After a few weeks we went and talked to them (we were hugely embarrassed) and they were MORTIFIED. They kept trying for a baby but changed rooms, bless them, so I think some people will listen and try and help.
We moved to a detached house a year later..

I think if you’re genuinely a twatty neighbour you probably don’t know it, because you lack the self awareness to recognise how your behaviour impacts others. So if you read a thread about other twatty neighbours you wouldn’t recognise yourself in that.

All my neighbours are having a feud thats been dragging on for years, and one by one they've tried to drag me into it. None of them think they are twats. They all think I'm a twat for not taking their side, I think they're all behaving like twats. At this point I'd happily fuck off and live in a cave up a mountain to get away from them.

No because I don't believe I do anything wrong or to annoy my neighbours anyway.

Yes I play music on the speaker in the garden but it's not loud and there are plenty of others on our street who play theirs as well. In fact theirs are probably louder than mine but it doesn't bother me at all.

We don't have them very often at all, maybe 2x a year, but I'm not going to stop having bbqs just in case the neighbours don't like the smell.

My dc play in the garden and make noise as they do so but they're not loud and, again, there are other households up & down the street with kids and/or dogs who also make noise.

We occasionally have people over to sit in the summerhouse with us. When we do we're in by 10 because it's too cold to stay out.

I often think how mn would hate me and joke with dh about it but judging by many of the other people who live around here and the noise they make I really don't think any of my neighbours are mnetters. We get on with them and talk to them regularly and have never had any complaints.