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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will she ever meet anyone?

48 replies

MiriamMargo · 07/05/2021 12:00

I get so worried about my adult daughter, she is almost 33yrs, old has a 2yr old daughter, no father on the scene, and she has never had a proper relationship. I get so sad that I think she will be on her own forever, without anyone to share her live. She doesn't have a massive circle of friends either and hardly ever goes out, she does work part time. She is not unattractive, she is what I describe as just a normal woman.

OP posts:
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 07/05/2021 12:02

That was me for years and years, got married twice both of them substandard, now alone again. As soon as a decent upright man comes along I'll marry him but as long as men continue to be substandard and bad roll models for my DS I'll stay single.

YouShouldLeave · 07/05/2021 12:07

Does your daughter actually even want a parner, or is this just you thinking that every woman should have a man?

idontlikealdi · 07/05/2021 12:09

Well you sound like a controlling delight.

Backtoreality1 · 07/05/2021 12:09

Is she happy? Not everyone needs a partner in life to make them complete.

flashylamp · 07/05/2021 12:10

What? Just what?

MoreAloneTime · 07/05/2021 12:11

I don't think any of us can predict what will happen to your DD. Just support her in general, don't pressure her to find a relationship she might not even want.

Meowchickameowmeow · 07/05/2021 12:13

Just hang on while I consult my crystal ball...

Reinventinganna · 07/05/2021 12:14

Is she happy?
Does she want to meet someone?

DisgruntledPelican · 07/05/2021 12:16

If she’s happy, then leave her be. She’s clearly met someone at some point, hence the daughter, so there’s no reason it won’t happen again.

Do you know if she’s happy with her life? Ask her (nicely, not judgementally) and have a proper conversation.

fantasmasgoria1 · 07/05/2021 12:16

She may not want to meet someone. You don't need a partner to be happy. If she does want to meet someone perhaps her confidence levels are low.

Lbnc2021 · 07/05/2021 12:17

Maybe she’s like me and is quite happy being by herself 🤷🏻‍♀️

georgarina · 07/05/2021 12:17

Offer to babysit for a night so she can go out

Happycat1212 · 07/05/2021 12:17

You wouldn’t like me then, I’ve been single for 4 years! If she only has a 2 year old surely you should be happy she isn’t dating right now? I never really get why women with such young children date tbh, I would be happy if my daughter was just focusing on her child and not a man

Egghead81 · 07/05/2021 12:19

What is a normal woman?

More to the point - I don’t think I’ll ever see my daughter as a “normal” woman more like the most wonderful woman that ever lived

8monthsinandcranky · 07/05/2021 12:20

I kinda thought your OP would say she was unhappy, lonely or had confided in you that she desperately wanted to meet someone.

When I got to the end and realised it’s just you thinking she ‘should’ get to meet someone and ‘share her life’ I was a bit like Hmm what if she’s perfectly happy?

jellybeans44 · 07/05/2021 12:20

Having a man in your life is not the be all and end all of happiness. Disgusting post.

UhtredRagnarson · 07/05/2021 12:25

You’re describing me, apart from the age of the DC. I got a wedding invitation yesterday addressed to me and my (also single) sister who I haven’t lived with in over 15 years Hmm
We have clearly been placed in the “spinster sisters” category and must be each other’s date to weddings. Grin

Anyway, who knows the answer to your question OP? There aren’t a lot of decent men out there anymore and they’re becoming rarer as we get older. Maybe she’s better off without one. I certainly enjoy not having to put up with some of the shit I hear about from other coupled up women.

Lovingspring · 07/05/2021 12:27

She might be focusing on her daughter and not interested in a relationship at the moment.

BrilliantBetty · 07/05/2021 12:27

Does she get time to go out and socialise? Or sole childcare for her DC?

Cocomarine · 07/05/2021 12:29

She has a job, a child, friends... sounds great.
Only downside seems to be a bit of an odd mother 😉

Come on... she doesn’t need a man to be happy. She doesn’t need more friends than she already has.

I don’t think it’s odd to want the best for your child - though I think we have different ideas of what is best. I for one would love to have been able to afford to work part time with my 2yo! I do think it’s odd to be posting here about it.

How much “going out” do you actually expect her to be doing, with a small child and a year of repeated lockdowns anyway?!

FrozenVag · 07/05/2021 12:29

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Happycat1212 · 07/05/2021 12:30

Also if the father isn’t involved then it sounds like she may not get the time to date, im a lone parent so I can’t date as my kids are with me all the time, plus if she’s only ever had bad experiences dating maybe that’s put her off

Happycat1212 · 07/05/2021 12:31

FrozenVag
She only has a 2 year old! I would be happy if my daughter was concentrating on her young toddler rather than meeting a new man so soon.

TubeOfSmarties · 07/05/2021 12:31

Does she want to? Have you considered that she might be quite happy not having any more obligations or complications? Have you considered that maybe she dates sometimes and just doesn't tell you about it? Have you considered that she is an adult and doesn't need you feeling sorry for her?

grapewine · 07/05/2021 12:31

Ugh, the idea that you need a man to be happy. Leave her be.