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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want people to calm my baby by his actual name?

814 replies

SimGuruRu · 07/05/2021 07:59

Name change as outing. To avoid the inevitable “what’s his name” replies ... he’s called Brian, hence outing.
He’s 6 weeks old and friends and family seem unable to call him by his actual name. They make up stupid names for him “baby Bobo” for example, I’ve had people literally snigger when I say his name. MIL has outright told us it’s an awful name for a baby and she can’t say it without laughing.
I’ve told DH I’m getting to the point where I feel if people can’t call him by his name maybe they shouldn’t be seeing him?! He thinks this is an overreaction and that I’m being too dramatic. They are going to make him grow up hating his own name.
AIBU?

OP posts:
RealisticSketch · 07/05/2021 10:48

'His name is Brian, get used to it, you're not twelve years old now you know' on repeat.

grantoderek · 07/05/2021 10:48

It's incredibly aggressive to not use a person's name. I think it's a great name and even if I didn't, I wouldn't be passive aggressive towards a little baby. How awful

ThatIsMyPotato · 07/05/2021 10:49

@Donitta

MIL has outright told us it’s an awful name for a baby This speaks volumes. She’s jealous because he’s named after your grandad. It’s a name from your family not from her family. I’m guessing she’s generally difficult, spiteful and jealous?
Agree with this. You have a MIL problem. Maybe your husband should speak to her firmly.
loveisanopensore · 07/05/2021 10:53

I thought mumsnet loved simple easy for english speakers to pronounce names. You can't win.

Brian is a grand name.

Mandalay246 · 07/05/2021 11:01

If anyone is rude enough to comment on the name you chose for your baby then cut them out of your life - or in the case of your MIL tell her that Brian is his name and while she doesn't have to like it she will just have to put up with it. However, the cutsie nicknames are just part and parcel of having a baby, so YABU to be irritated by that. Once he gets a bit bigger they will start calling him by his name.

Shame on those posters making fun of the name by the way - you are just plain ignorant.

MindGrapes · 07/05/2021 11:02

Anyone mentioned Marilyn Manson yet? His real name is Brian.
Obviously not a great association but he was a rock star.

skirk64 · 07/05/2021 11:03

@StoppinBy

Snigger @ the people who say Brian is an older man's names, not a baby's name...... Just to clarify....any man called Brian was also a baby called Brian at some stage lol

They are being rude in directly saying something but nicknames are very normal so I'd let that go.

Yes, become a boy called Brian And a teenager, a teenager called Bri-aaaaan
thesunwillout · 07/05/2021 11:05

Oh Life of Brian certainly has influenced people of today.

18 yr old DD for one.
In fact the film came up in a lecture the other day.

RiojaRose · 07/05/2021 11:06

@XiCi

You could draw the same list of elderly Alans with a modicum of fame or success. Doesn’t mean it’s not a cruel name for a baby born today I've actually met a toddler and a baby Alan recently so must be on the way to a comeback. I just thought it was a cute name. Absolutely ridiculous to say its a cruel Hmm.
Same here. A couple of toddler Alans of my acquaintance. Seems to be making a comeback and definitely not cruel.
CounsellorTroi · 07/05/2021 11:06

@MindGrapes

Anyone mentioned Marilyn Manson yet? His real name is Brian. Obviously not a great association but he was a rock star.
Then there’s Brian May, rock star and astrophysicist.......
TaraR2020 · 07/05/2021 11:08

I actually like Brian and it's due for a revival. I think it will grow on some people, others are lost causes.

Either way, your loved ones are being terribly rude in showing that they dislike it. Calling babies silly names is normal (and baby talk is a fundamental part of encouraging language development), so I wouldn't worry about that but id have a word with them about their attitudes to Brian.

I'm also a bit shocked at how forthright people have been on here in expressing their dislike for the name, but there you go.

Rise above it, op.

IamMoana · 07/05/2021 11:13

I think it's a lovely name.

Numnumcookie · 07/05/2021 11:13

YANBU they are being rude.

A name only sounds weird until you start associating it with the person and then it just becomes just another name. If they can't see this then they're very myopic in their views.

I went to school with a Boris. At first it felt weird calling a teenager Boris but then I got used to it, and Boris now seems to me a completely normal name for someone my age.

Keep using it and correcting them, they will eventually associate it with your lovely little boy and not someone older. If they're really persistent then you'll probably find Brian himself will start correcting them and will naturally avoid them if they can't use his correct name, when he's old enough.

Numnumcookie · 07/05/2021 11:21

Also I know of two Brian/Bryans under the age of ten, so it is slowly getting a revival.

Yes there's monty python connotations but how many people under 25 have seen that nowadays? I'm 32 but speaking to colleagues aged early twenties they have no idea who John Cleese is, one didn't know who Sean Connery is when I mentioned he died, and another didn't know Craig David had hits in the nineties....

garlictwist · 07/05/2021 11:27

It's interesting how on the other thread where the baby was called Esme, everyone leaped in to say how rude the family were being for criticising the name.

But as soon as it's a name people don't like that changes...

AliceMcK · 07/05/2021 11:35

Tell them to fuck off. Never mind what you DH says, I’d be telling them if they can’t call my baby by his correct name and stop passing judgement they can stay the hell away as they are being rude and disrespectful to you and your child. Your DH needs to back you up.

All my DDs have names I’ve chosen and others have commented on and I’ve told them exactly where to go. I’ve even shot back digs at their naming and parenting choices to get my point across when I’ve had to. Example, did I have a go at you for naming your son after Nan and Grandads dog, no, then keep your fucking opinions about my child’s name to yourself.... this was to one of my cousins.

I’m a firm believer in naming your children because the name has meaning to you. My oldest is named after my grandmother, there was never going to be any other name. My exDH hated it and he was told tough, thankfully I never had children with him and my DH fully respected my wishes, she is now named after both our grandmothers, because even though I didn’t like his grandmother name I respected his wishes to also name her after his grandmother too.

What’s your MILs names? The next time she says anything I’d say well I’m glad I had a boy and not a girl as DH wanted to name a girl after you and there is no way I’d want to call my child X.... see how she takes that!

eggandonion · 07/05/2021 11:36

When I was in my twenties, the accounts office ladies were Mary, Lois, Esme and Topsy. They were in their fifties Shock so old lady names to me.
Now quite pretty or cool. I am yet to meet a baby Topsy.

AdobeWanKenobi · 07/05/2021 11:37

speaking to colleagues aged early twenties they have no idea who John Cleese is

Sad indictment of their upbringing that. My children were raised with Python.

BelleBlueBell · 07/05/2021 11:38

@MindGrapes

Anyone mentioned Marilyn Manson yet? His real name is Brian. Obviously not a great association but he was a rock star.
Hmmm, not a great example as it could be said that Brian was such a bad name he changed it to a female name Grin
Hobbesmanc · 07/05/2021 11:39

How rude. It is a bit dated here in the Uk but its been very popular in the US and Australia recently. And its originally a Celtic kings name. Enjoy your son xx

dragoncena · 07/05/2021 11:39

I've no idea why Brian is considered "controversial". Much better IMO than all of thebAlfie's, Teddy's and Lewie's.

Aebj · 07/05/2021 11:40

I know a couple of Brian’s . One is a fantastic, funny dentist, the other is an electrician and he’s very good at his job and an awesome dad.
The name makes me think of these lovely men. I’m sure yours will be awesome to

BelleBlueBell · 07/05/2021 11:41

@AdobeWanKenobi

speaking to colleagues aged early twenties they have no idea who John Cleese is

Sad indictment of their upbringing that. My children were raised with Python.

Hardly, why would you bring your children up to know something from decades ago if you yourself weren't a fan

What a strange yardstick to judge the quality of parenting. Do today's children have to be familiar with the pop culture of every generation? How would you begin to do that?

Lilyx18 · 07/05/2021 11:42

It is rude of them. I guess at least they're being upfront about it instead of laughing behind your back? I can see why you're pissed off, they need to get over it - that's his name! Hopefully in time it will become more normal for them to call him by his actual name, would definitely be saying something if it continues

Rogmc · 07/05/2021 11:44

Brian is a good strong name for anyone including babies. I like it. Baby Brian, the alliteration works well.