I’m a teacher who can’t be arsed... AIBU?

[EffYouSeeKaye]

... with all the Emotional Well-Being shenanigans these days. Honestly, it’s overkill. Can I just TEACH please? With the usual (already massively time consuming) actual pastoral care included but not this whole new level of FAFF.

They don’t want it. They don’t need it. They don’t want to think about it all. the. time.

They need the normality of lessons. Learning. Keeping their brains positively occupied with acquiring useful skills and knowledge.

They don’t need an overload of (often crap and patronising) storybooks and colouring activities.

Pleeeeease???!? Enough now.

AIBU?

But too much encouragement of "this must be affecting you" makes them think they must say it's affecting them

Too much telling students their whole futures are ruined due to the pandemic

What happened to "this is tough. You can overcome this by ..... you just need to put in the effort"

My DD has generally been cheery and happy go lucky all her life. In the last few weeks, she thinks she has anxiety, and tells me that her group of friends at school all feel the same. I worry that, from mental health being shameful, the pendulum has swung too far the other way, and children are too quick to self diagnose anxiety, when it's completely normal to feel a bit odd to be back at school after a few month out of school

I go get what you mean

But I have to say my child’s school has been kind and generally supportive around mh issues
And I’m so grateful that they are

So thanks 🙏 to the teachers that are tuned in ( as I’m sure you are )

Your school sounds great OP! Frustrating for you though
My DDs school has no MH awareness (select few teachers do)
Briefly, A couple of months ago my DDs dad (my ex) committed suicide. My DD went back to school part time a week later. She missed some lessons as she was doing part days. Her teacher asked her where some work was. She said she didn't know about it as wasn't in lesson at the time. The teacher called her pathetic. My DD has never missed a homework deadline, has never had a detention or been told off. My DD actually apologised! I was fuming!

So although it is frustrating as hell for you, I wish all teachers were taught some level of MH awareness!

I know teachers have a wide skill set, but honestly, allowing people to dabble into other professions that they are ill equipped to practice really does not help the students
I wish I had you in my pocket when I was trying to explain this to some former colleagues who seem to pride themselves on talking the mental health talk, blissfully unaware that mental health isn't being pushed into schools because we are good at dealing with it, but because services have been slashed to awful levels.
Some teachers buy into the knight in shining armour and say the mental health buzzwords, without realising that the best thing we can do for our children is to shout from the rooftops that some of this is beyond our professional training and is unfair on the children who need specialist support, not 15 minutes colouring in during registration time.

Totally agree. I have a 4 year education degree, back in the day before this was a thing in schools. I have no training in supporting children with mental health issues outside regular teacher training.
I have seen this 'mental health check in' stuff now in two schools recently, in both it was lip service.

I am not trained in mental health, I don't have the time to follow up on 'I'm feeling a bit sad today"...
I am excellent though, at pastoral care, and have a very good, solid understanding of my classes and their families/communities.
It's all just ticking a box, farcical... I've yet to see it implemented meaningfully and sustainably (happy to be proved wrong though..)

I agree. My Year 8 son is so fed up of the constant “mindfulness” stuff that seems to be a constant these days. My 2 primary kids are also bored of “thinking time” etc etc. I think it would be far better to pick out the children with anxiety/mental health issues and give them small group, purposeful time with a trained professional rather than expecting teachers to be counsellors.

@Thisisworsethananticpated Thank you. I really do care and I always have. I just think slapping an ill thought through EWB curriculum in the middle of everything and giving it the highest priority is not sensible or helpful.

@LolaSmiles YES. This in spades.

@Idroppedthescrewinthetuna that is outrageous! I’m so sorry for your poor DD. I had always thought that schools were pretty good at dealing with bereaved students, as it is (sadly) a reasonably common occurance. Not in this case though

There are two things that frustrate me about it.

1.The prescriptiveness of it all. It's not fun and games. It's a box ticking exercise and you must show the evidence so the kids must do it. Of course you get kids who have no interest, who detest the activity etc. At least presentation doesn't really matter. Silver linings and all that.

2.The expectation that everything else will still be done. When? Fuck knows. Just make sure you cram it all in.

@notanothertakeaway I read a discussion about this on Twitter a couple of weeks ago and it was so refreshing to see that others share the same concerns. I do think that there is a current obsession with mental health and 'navel-gazing'. It can become like a mass hysteria and in a way 'trendy' to have mental health issues.

There is of course some people who do really need support but the problem is that if everyone has problems then those who do need help will struggle more to get it.

I think the mental health needs of dc are often overlooked, so I have no problem with focusing on them.

If the work you are offering isn't actually addressing this, could you alter or improve it rather than scrapping the whole concept?

@singsingbluesilver

I await the day when pile of bricks is delivered to school so that the teachers can build a new extension. Then later that day they can be given medical equipment and turn their skills to surgery

I know teachers have a wide skill set, but honestly, allowing people to dabble into other professions that they are ill equipped to practice really does not help the students.

👍 this.

I have taught with a fair few wanna be social workers/ mental health specialists. I hve to say that some of them had their heart in the right place, but were trying to 'fix' problems well beyond their capability. Some students go through things that we could not possibly imagine and playing a knight in shining armour does them no good, and actually can cause harm. These are students who leave the school at 3.30 and the education system at age 16 or 18. What happens to them then if no real mental health/ social service support has been put in place. The shining knight teacher will move on to their next project child and the poor young person has the rug pulled from underneath them. The underfunding of CAMHS is nothing short of a national scandal and teachers who prop up the system are contributing to this sticking plaster approach. You can probably tell, this is something that i feel very strongly about.

Dare I also add that for many of these wannabes they enjoy being the superhero because it means they can avoid doing their actual job ie being in the classroom teaching. You know, the thing they are actually paid to do. They can also play the martyr card about how they go the extra mile, and take home all the emotional baggage. Maybe some do. That's why people who deal with the many complex and varied mental health issues and traumas of young people are specifically trained and qualified to do the job.

@singsingbluesilver

I have taught with a fair few wanna be social workers/ mental health specialists. I hve to say that some of them had their heart in the right place, but were trying to 'fix' problems well beyond their capability. Some students go through things that we could not possibly imagine and playing a knight in shining armour does them no good, and actually can cause harm. These are students who leave the school at 3.30 and the education system at age 16 or 18. What happens to them then if no real mental health/ social service support has been put in place. The shining knight teacher will move on to their next project child and the poor young person has the rug pulled from underneath them. The underfunding of CAMHS is nothing short of a national scandal and teachers who prop up the system are contributing to this sticking plaster approach. You can probably tell, this is something that i feel very strongly about.

Dare I also add that for many of these wannabes they enjoy being the superhero because it means they can avoid doing their actual job ie being in the classroom teaching. You know, the thing they are actually paid to do. They can also play the martyr card about how they go the extra mile, and take home all the emotional baggage. Maybe some do. That's why people who deal with the many complex and varied mental health issues and traumas of young people are specifically trained and qualified to do the job.

Totally agree, on all your points. A lot coming down to the underfunding of existing services, and also glory-seeking teachers with a few weekend courses under their belts on mindfulness. Dangerous combo, actually.

My Ds actually hates pse now. He has done self harm, bullemia, harrassment, sexting, consent amongst other things.

It seems to be giving information rather than how to raise your mood.

I don't think from what my ds has said anyone with mh issues would feel more supported. No one who doesn't don't understand it and are more empathetic.

I really would prefer the be kind, how to manage ..... would be far more useful.

@EffYouSeeKaye
The pastoral team have been amazing with her and also have allowed me to email them to check in on her whilst at school if she had a bad morning.
I understand so many teachers get unnecessary crap!
Don't get me wrong, I have had one teacher call me just to say that she had been looking through my DDs work and she couldn't believe the standard of her work hasn't slipped at all. She phoned to let me know she was proud of DD.

Saying all of that, I don't believe teachers should be doing all the pastoral care! They do need stability and normality. They do need a little extra care/love. My head says 'surely that is my job as a mother though, not the work of somebody who is supposed to be educating them...'
I do believe teachers should possibly keep a bigger eye out for pupils who may be suffering. But don't drill into all kids they may be depressed because of Covid!
If anything I have taught my younger kids that they are stronger now, they have learned about dramatic change and now they are big and brave and amazing!

@AccidentallyOnPurpose oh of course we must evidence it! It hasn’t happened if we don’t make a scrap book / photo montage / display about it, has it? All for the good of the kids, of course...

I agree the mindfulness stuff is often not great.

I have a child who is supported by an TA who specialises in supporting the kids who are struggle with their mental health or behaviour and that is actually helpful. I know those kinds of roles are very rare though, it's a very SEN friendly school.

One of my other children absolutely wound herself up into thinking if I sometimes feel anxious that means there is something wrong with me. Poor child has had a really rough few months unpicking that and recognising that actually it's okay to feel anxious sometimes and doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with them.

Agree 100%.

2 anecdotes to add:

1. as a parent - my son was taught in such an oversimplified way about anxiety, having not heard the term before, he came home convinced he had it. Things like ‘you get worried sometimes’ or ‘ you feel frustrated or down’. Er yes, there is no one who could honestly answer ‘no’ to this!

2. as a teacher - fucked up timetabling today (long story), found myself in front of my Year 7s with nothing prepared, absolute brain freeze so guiltily and spontaneously put a Marvel film on for an hour and was amazed to see kids relax, smile, and afterwards really open up for the first time. No way mindfulness or artificial chatting sessions would have achieved this. They were like different kids!

[quote EffYouSeeKaye]**@AccidentallyOnPurpose* oh of course we must evidence* it! It hasn’t happened if we don’t make a scrap book / photo montage / display about it, has it? All for the good of the kids, of course...[/quote]
Have you been asked to assess impact yet?
Or to show progress? Yeah.. that actually happened. Never in my life have I been so happy that I'm the TA.

If anything I have taught my younger kids that they are stronger now, they have learned about dramatic change and now they are big and brave and amazing!

Love this!! I feel the same about my own children. I’m fed up with reading about all the EWB that has been going on at their school in the same every week newsletter. I’ll do that, thanks. You just teach them, yeah? And step in if they are clearly struggling - as you normally would. Stop telling them they are all probably anxious / stressed / depressed. The power of suggestion and labelling is so dangerous.

@Shinyandnew5708

Agree 100%.

2 anecdotes to add:

1. as a parent - my son was taught in such an oversimplified way about anxiety, having not heard the term before, he came home convinced he had it. Things like ‘you get worried sometimes’ or ‘ you feel frustrated or down’. Er yes, there is no one who could honestly answer ‘no’ to this!

2. as a teacher - fucked up timetabling today (long story), found myself in front of my Year 7s with nothing prepared, absolute brain freeze so guiltily and spontaneously put a Marvel film on for an hour and was amazed to see kids relax, smile, and afterwards really open up for the first time. No way mindfulness or artificial chatting sessions would have achieved this. They were like different kids!

DD a few weeks ago "Mummy, do I have anxiety?" Me: Errm.. why do you ask? Her: well we were talking about it at school today and I have a lot of the signs. Me: are you actually worried or anxious about anything? Her: Nope.. when's dinner readyv Me: yeah.. you don't have anxiety.

I would say it’s business as usual this week for my class- except SATs aren’t happening so it’s bloody marvellous.
Thus week we’ve done some work on fractions and rounding; planned a discussion text, read a newspaper and learned about local history. We spent this afternoon doing PE and started the practical bit of our DT project.

We’ve read books, I’ve read our class book. I’ve taught French, my team-teacher taught music. Tomorrow is art: based on The Wave.

We planned a special day for the year group at the end of term and discussed what we need ahead of meeting our new schools thus week. Oh and I bought them new pens and footballs (I paid, no funds) as we needed them. We are almost as pleased with the pens as the footballs.

They’re good kids. They need a bit of stability and the chance to shine.

Can you be my childrens' teacher please.

They hate this stuff. One year my son was bullied because he looked like the boy in the well-being video they had to watch.

Even without that, it's tedious and useless.

Well my kid isn't getting pastoral care or fucking teaching so I say YANBU.

I think the kids who admit to not having anxiety are probably in the minority now. How are you supposed to be special if you haven't got an issue?

Having said that, I teach a hell of a lot more kids with severe issues, largely thanks to home circumstances, than I ever did 20 years ago. I came into teaching to teach my subject. I am not a counsellor. I'm shit at emotions in my own family, let alone others. I am not equipped for it. I am not cuddly. I can't deal with the mental health of the 210 students i teach and have anything left for my own kids, who I rarely see.

This year, Yr 11,as a pp said, are either fighting, skiving, going into meltdown, crying or zoning out. I've never seen anything like it.

I'm tired. I mark and I mark and I mark. Then I deal with behaviour all day, but the kids can't help it cos they're all damaged.