To expect an exception for bf baby?

[PatchItUp]

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

I wouldn't want a baby near the chemicals or whilst cutting, it would be a safety hazard for your baby and the hairdresser

it would hardly be an emergency if the baby refused the bottle

But who wants to leave two month old baby screaming for that time if it would be a simple matter to feed them?

Yanbu. If it's just a quick feed and the baby is being taken away quickly I don't see a problem

YABVVU

I EBF two children (and could not express) for 14 months each and managed to have baby free hairdresser/colourist appointments throughout.

You are coming across as slightly ridiculous.

@stackthecats yes in this instance I think its wrong as they have a policy and also its not normal times where you could go and take 15 mins to sit on sofa in the shop as hairdressers are only allowed a set amount of time
Also the bf at work I find that strange as your colleague disappearing for ages is hard and also as an employer it must be hard to accommodate in many jobs so I imagine only a few jobs can actually accomodate, having a break to do a couple times a day fair enough but if it was regularly or expecting it if you work in say a hospital or a firefighter on call.
Also being allowed to just walk in a nightclub or betting shop and just feed your baby when no under 18's are allowed.
I think any public place where there are no age restrictions its fine but when there are age restrictions or in the instance of an exam centre no I don't think a crying baby is fair on other candidates

@Talkwhilstyouwalk or you could just do the natural thing and feed a hungry baby when it requires and not let it cry and not be judged for it?

I would've thought breastfeeding baby would be fine too but I guess it's up to them to set their own policy. I was having my hair done once and a new Mum came in. I held the baby for her when she had her hair done! My youngest is 7 and although I have four children I'm not particularly bothered about my child free time being invaded!! It was lovely! Glad you got your haircut OP.

[quote Talkwhilstyouwalk]@EarringsandLipstick yes, but if the baby is that hungry he or she will take from the bottle.[/quote]
They won't. Not in the timeframe of the appointment.

Sure, eventually. But who would chose that for their baby? B/f babies have the right to be b/f. End of.

YABU - you have a baby , they explained the policy - you either go there minus baby or take your business elsewhere

Completely off topic but when I was away last year with my now 13 year old son I couldn't take him into my choice of pub and restaurant as no children were permitted after 6pm - I hadn't noticed the sign at the front - no problem we went somewhere else - I could have argued that he was exceptionally well behaved and much more so than some of the adults having their food but it was their rule and I accepted it

Yes completely different to your scenario - but it's a baby - I had my hair cut yesterday - first time since last Nov - there were no children around - that was good as the lady who washed my hair earlier dropped a whole lot of hairspray canisters by me as she came past - no one hurt - all was good

@SohoOrigami what if water splashed on baby whilst washing hair or some chemicals etc , accidents happen

You cover the baby's head with the gown, a muslin, your hand, your jumper, a breastfeeding cover.

I wouldn't drink a cup of coffer whilst holding a baby , I could but i wouldn't just incase

That's a pretty risk averse approach, which is completely fine but isn't for everyone. Lots of women breastfeed while eating, drinking, travelling on a bus or train, sitting in a pub - the chances of having scissors fall on a baby seem about up there with someone chucking a glass in a pub and it landing on a baby sitting at the next table. Possible, but remote.

If I were a hairdresser I would not be comfortable doing someones hair who had a baby in arms , I mean hairdressers always ask you to sit still anyway

As someone's pointed out already, if they have done a health and safety assessment and can point to specific risk, that could be a reason to refuse, but so many hairdressers do allow it that it's hard to see how someone could argue there's a specific risk that can't be protected against.

I honestly cannot believe how vehemently other posters believe YABU. Sure, these hairdressers don't sound like they are the best fit for you because getting your hair cut should not be that tense but you can feed the baby when you're sitting with the dye in your hair, and other clients are not even likely to know baby is there if baby nurses then goes.
This is a very very young baby, probably still nursing at irregular intervals, you just can't predict if they'll be crying to nurse while you're away or if they'll take the bottle. You're not even supposed to start practicing with a bottle before 6 weeks and it can take weeks for a bf baby to take to it.
I don't think you're being unreasonable to want to have a back up plan in case your baby is hungry during the appointment.

I support breast feeding but still think YABU. My hairdresser is following strict pandemic rules. I can't even take a handbag in. A no children rule has to apply to everyone or no one.

Putting aside people’s interpretations of the law, I’m not sure I would want to take my breastfed baby to a place that doesn’t allow children? I wouldn’t book a Sandals-type adults only resort, even if could legally go as was breastfeeding. I wouldn’t think it was fair on others that have paid for a child-free experience and I was bringing my child just because I could, even though there were more suitable alternatives for myself and my child. Surely it’s a case of trying to be a bit considerate to everyone. A breastfed baby wouldn’t bother me at all, but I appreciate if someone chose and paid for a private venue that was adults only (pub/holiday/spa/gun factory visit/swingers club), which then turned out to allow some babies, then yes, I could see how they might be annoyed.

I don't understand why you'd want to bring a tiny baby into an enclosed space where they will be inhaling chemicals? Surely going out to the car or something to feed would have been better? And saved all the hassle.

PFB by any chance?

You asked the staff, they said no. They are perfectly entitled to refuse something that would make their work more difficult (eg worry of dropping bleach/scissors, distressed baby screaming due to hair dryers). Just because you have an EBF baby doesn’t mean you are entitled to take them everywhere.

just because something is permitted by legislation does not mean that EVERYONE MUST do it (whilst reminding all and sundry that it is the law so they should be doing it too).

WHO has said this Bubble?

Legislation safeguards someone's right to do something; it doesn't force anyone to do anything.

@Grognonne

Putting aside people’s interpretations of the law, I’m not sure I would want to take my breastfed baby to a place that doesn’t allow children? I wouldn’t book a Sandals-type adults only resort, even if could legally go as was breastfeeding. I wouldn’t think it was fair on others that have paid for a child-free experience and I was bringing my child just because I could, even though there were more suitable alternatives for myself and my child. Surely it’s a case of trying to be a bit considerate to everyone. A breastfed baby wouldn’t bother me at all, but I appreciate if someone chose and paid for a private venue that was adults only (pub/holiday/spa/gun factory visit/swingers club), which then turned out to allow some babies, then yes, I could see how they might be annoyed.

Swingers party 😂

Surely this is to do with the Covid regulations?

Makes me wonder where this breastfeeding whenever, wherever will end.
Maybe dentists will have to stop, mid procedure, to accommodate a breast fed baby.
Maybe the cashier at the supermarket must stop for a quick latch on.
Maybe the post office cashier should hang on while you latch your baby on.
Maybe your baby should be allowed to step out of the witness box , while you're giving evidence in court, so that you can feed your child.

I don't know, how on Earth did we ever cope?

I'm a mother of 4 and have breastfed myself. I don't want my alone time spent with your baby, especially if I've booked at a salon that doesn't allow children.
You should have; ensured your child took a bottle if you're leaving him, booked at a hairdressers that allows children or booked one to come to your house.
It's not rocket science is it?
I wouldn't go to a restaurant that didny allow children then expect them to let mine in 🙄

I don't think saying this is U is remotely comparable to not being able to feed at a pub or coffee shop where if baby is difficult it's easy to up and go. Worst case, With the dye on, and baby needing a feed, you'll either have the dye on for too long or the baby will be screaming while you're rinsed. And the inconvenience for both baby and partner if he needs to bring baby out to the hairdressers screaming because won't take bottle, horrible for both.

I think this is just one of those times as a mum when you learn that this is something you rearrange to suit the baby rather than plough ahead. Not worth the fuss.

I think its ludicrous that a women can feed a baby every hr if needed at work

I give up @worriedatthemoment

I've answered this in my previous posts if you'd like to read them.

It's really sad that rather than deal with factual situations, and the rationale for such legislation, people like you continue to build up straw men arguments that have little real life meaning.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary

You got your way - what's the problem ?

Actually HalfShrunkMoreToGo reasonable adaptations should be made to allow a breastfeeding woman to attend an exam.

The obvious one being own room and supervised breaks to feed.

Seriously this thread

But hey, it's fine, I'll just get DH to bring the two-months-old into an environment riddled with blasts of hot air, perm lotions, dyes and hairspray; I'll breastfeed whilst my hair's covered in dye with their face just inches from it.

Talk about hyperbole. 'Riddled' FFS.

You are missing the point. OP is entirely entitled to feed her baby on the premises, if she wishes. Most people would approach this reasonably, as OP did.