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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are people that question DPs choice of vehicle BU?

47 replies

ChristmasAlone · 04/05/2021 18:25

2019 his car was called in for a recall, when it was returned there were issues. We went away the day after it was returned so took 3 weeks to notice. Ended up selling in Jan after months of back and forth and garage not accepting responsibility - car had only recently had MOT when it went in. Plan was to wait till March to get a new car on lease when new reg came out.

World imploded. We don't really need two cars, it's extremely rare maybe a handful of times a year we would both need it at the same time. So decided to get a van instead and put some stuff in the back: corner chair that folds out to a bed, storage space, cabinet with two gas burners and a sink plus a very small shower room shower. There's electricity in there.

We regularly go away at weekends, we have blow up paddle boards, go bike riding, enter outdoor swimming competitions, love hiking - we are very outdoorsey people. I don't particularly like driving with the bikes on the back of the car and don't always feel up for driving straight after we've done something. We also plan to do a lot to the garden this year so being able to get hardcore, patio etc home will be much easier.

It's not done up amazingly, he didn't really want to spend 00000s on it as he didn't have any experience doing it before. But for what we need it for it's fine, we don't plan going on holidays for a week in it or anything like that but a night would be perfectly fine.

However loads of people think it's really strange that I'm okay with him not having a run around and essentially having to use my car for normal every day things (he uses it maybe once a week at the moment) and are saying that he should also have a proper car. Neither of us pre Covid drove into work as it was more hassle and this just seems a much more logical 2nd vehicle to have.

Would you be bothered in this situation or are the people commenting just being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AFS1 · 04/05/2021 18:28

They are being unreasonable. My partner and I are thinking of getting rid of one of our 2 cars for the sabe reason - we just don’t need them both anymore. We wouldn’t have a 2nd vehicle at all, so would just share my partner’s car.

For what it’s worth, your fan sounds lovely!

AFS1 · 04/05/2021 18:29

Van, not fan!

Royalbloo · 04/05/2021 18:30

Sounds great to me and no one else's business imo

conywarp · 04/05/2021 18:31

So you have a car and a van?

Who are these people that are interested enough in a really normal situation enough to pass comment and make you feel it's weird?

ComtesseDeSpair · 04/05/2021 18:32

It wouldn’t occur to me to question somebody else’s transportation choices - except to comment, as somebody who drives a small campervan, that Id find driving a bigger van all the time a ballache.

Surely “we don’t usually drive to work and are mostly out together at the weekends so keeping two cars on the road seemed unnecessary” is a perfectly ordinary reason?

InconvenientPeg · 04/05/2021 18:33

How weird that they care! Most couple I know that have a van, share a car. We share a car and don't even have a van!

ratspeaker · 04/05/2021 18:35

I dont think its weird
We have a car
and for many years had a van thats registered with dvla as campervan( which makes it cheaper to insure than a car).
In the years before the virus we went around the Lake district, Northumberland, Cumbria and our native Scotland,
Plus I take it to music festivals.
its much nicer than camping in a tent, Just drive in whever, pull on handbrake and put kettle on.

Plus its been useful for moving stuff

Fixitup2 · 04/05/2021 18:36

Why do people care? I’ve always had the nicer, newer car and DH had the tiny run around. We swap and change as we need depending what we’re doing. The small car is better for parking in a lot of places, big car is better for longer journeys and fitting stuff in.

randomsabreuse · 04/05/2021 18:37

DH and I have always "shared" our 2 different vehicles. Until DC we had a 2 seat mid engine car and an estate, now we have a 3L petrol and a 2L diesel and decide based on who needs 4wd (snow) or is going further. Other friends had a convertible 2 seater and an SUV... and again swapped depending on need. More sensible than having 3 vehicles between 2!

sunsetsand · 04/05/2021 18:38

Who are these people? Why do they care? Why do you care that they care?

UCOinanOCG · 04/05/2021 18:39

My friends only have an old VW camper-van as their mode of transport. No one has ever been negative about it. It's fab as I am sure your van is.

M0rT · 04/05/2021 18:39

I think that sounds great!
We have a small car (me) and a big car (DH) and the big car is very handy for transporting furniture etc.
If we need to swap cars for practical reasons we do and during the lockdowns I got DH to drive my car to work sometimes just to give it a run as I could go a week without starting it.
In normal times we need two cars though as both need to drive to work in different directions at different times.

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 04/05/2021 18:40

Not weird at all. My DH’s Grandad is in his 80s and he still drives the same camper van he’s driven since the 60s Grin. He took DH, SIL and cousins away on holiday in it with their Gran lots as well as his own DC when they were children. He hasn’t owned anything else since he bought it, he loves his rickety old camper van Smile.

minniep · 04/05/2021 18:41

Some people are just odd . We got rid of our second car two or three years ago. We didn't need two cars as DH walked to work and I'm a sahm so we switched to one and you'd think we had gone back to the Stone Age the way some people reacted. Some people actually can't get their heads around the fact that we do like walking. The DC get to school quicker by foot and we have great public transport.

ChristmasAlone · 04/05/2021 18:44

@conywarp

So you have a car and a van?

Who are these people that are interested enough in a really normal situation enough to pass comment and make you feel it's weird?

People at work. The concept is mind boggling to them, they are the type of people that do literally nothing every so I think the practicality behind it is totally lost on them.
OP posts:
user1493494961 · 04/05/2021 18:44

Perhaps they envy your outdoorsy lifestyle and blow-up paddle boards.

sunsetsand · 04/05/2021 18:47

Neither of you drive to work but your workmates have an opinion on your choice of car? Confused

ChristmasAlone · 04/05/2021 18:47

@minniep

Some people are just odd . We got rid of our second car two or three years ago. We didn't need two cars as DH walked to work and I'm a sahm so we switched to one and you'd think we had gone back to the Stone Age the way some people reacted. Some people actually can't get their heads around the fact that we do like walking. The DC get to school quicker by foot and we have great public transport.
I would normally take the train to work, 10min walk either end and about 10mins on the train. There's someone at work that lives just round the corner they drive most days it's close to an hour for them. They regularly offer me lifts and can't understand why I don't drive in 😅
OP posts:
Imnothereforthedrama · 04/05/2021 18:48

It’s funny what some people think is the norm , I know someone that has 2 vans in the household. 1 work van for the dh and 1 van that has seats / can remove for my female relative. The female relative inherited the van when passed her driving test but people expected her to get a run around car . She was perfectly happy with the van got the kids in / shopping extra passengers etc .

LizzieMacQueen · 04/05/2021 18:51

I never even thought about replacing one of our cars with a van but it makes a lot of sense. Especially as the reason for holding onto our large volvo is for tip runs & taking kids to uni.

Is insurance any higher?

sunsetsand · 04/05/2021 18:52

"Especially as the reason for holding onto our large volvo is for tip runs"

There are different rules for vans at our tip. You need a permit.

SummerSazz · 04/05/2021 18:54

We have a campervan (vw transporter) and we swap cars and both have taken the van to work (offices). Most people are intrigued about it rather than making any negative comments.

If it's a smallish van (I think ours is) then it's just like driving a people carrier.

UserAtRandom · 04/05/2021 18:54

DH and I only have one car between us and have done for years. I think it's more odd that people think the norm is that everyone has to have their own car!

In your case having a van clearly makes a lot of sense and sounds like it will get lots of use.

SummerSazz · 04/05/2021 18:55

We have a tip permit. It's a nominal fee really and not that many restrictions regarding visits which would become a problem for any normal family. Or you can just take the car 🤷‍♀️

LizzieMacQueen · 04/05/2021 18:57

Oh @sunsetsand, I hadn't thought about that.

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