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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are people that question DPs choice of vehicle BU?

47 replies

ChristmasAlone · 04/05/2021 18:25

2019 his car was called in for a recall, when it was returned there were issues. We went away the day after it was returned so took 3 weeks to notice. Ended up selling in Jan after months of back and forth and garage not accepting responsibility - car had only recently had MOT when it went in. Plan was to wait till March to get a new car on lease when new reg came out.

World imploded. We don't really need two cars, it's extremely rare maybe a handful of times a year we would both need it at the same time. So decided to get a van instead and put some stuff in the back: corner chair that folds out to a bed, storage space, cabinet with two gas burners and a sink plus a very small shower room shower. There's electricity in there.

We regularly go away at weekends, we have blow up paddle boards, go bike riding, enter outdoor swimming competitions, love hiking - we are very outdoorsey people. I don't particularly like driving with the bikes on the back of the car and don't always feel up for driving straight after we've done something. We also plan to do a lot to the garden this year so being able to get hardcore, patio etc home will be much easier.

It's not done up amazingly, he didn't really want to spend 00000s on it as he didn't have any experience doing it before. But for what we need it for it's fine, we don't plan going on holidays for a week in it or anything like that but a night would be perfectly fine.

However loads of people think it's really strange that I'm okay with him not having a run around and essentially having to use my car for normal every day things (he uses it maybe once a week at the moment) and are saying that he should also have a proper car. Neither of us pre Covid drove into work as it was more hassle and this just seems a much more logical 2nd vehicle to have.

Would you be bothered in this situation or are the people commenting just being unreasonable?

OP posts:
WarwickHunt · 04/05/2021 19:05

Where I was brought up (I've moved away!) I know people who find it very odd that sometimes if my darling partner and I are in a car I might be driving. The idea that a man can be in the passenger seat while a woman drives is beyond their comprehension. And in fact after this was said to me I've noticed that seeing women driving men in that particular town is as rare as hen's teeth.

Some people are weird.

ChristmasAlone · 04/05/2021 19:13

@WarwickHunt

Where I was brought up (I've moved away!) I know people who find it very odd that sometimes if my darling partner and I are in a car I might be driving. The idea that a man can be in the passenger seat while a woman drives is beyond their comprehension. And in fact after this was said to me I've noticed that seeing women driving men in that particular town is as rare as hen's teeth.

Some people are weird.

Any longer trips we share driving and get these comments alot. "he doesn't mind you driving" things like that. Ermmmm no why would he, no one wants to drive for 6hrs. He's Czech and his dad was a bit shocked first time they came over and I said he could have a drink and I'd drive home from the restaurant after we got them from the airport.
OP posts:
ElphabaTWitch · 04/05/2021 19:17

None of their business. Why pollute the world with an extra car If you don’t need to?

Wafflewombat · 04/05/2021 19:21

We only had a van for the last few years. No-one has ever commented. Just got a wee 2nd car but we use both as & when required. Vans are loads more practical.

BestOption · 04/05/2021 19:34

It's not exactly radical is it!

I looked at doing it when I got this car, as a mini camper that I could put my bike in, would have been ideal really.

But for various reasons it wouldn't currently work for me, but next time I change jobs/car/house I'll be having another look at the idea.

VettiyaIruken · 04/05/2021 19:36

How on earth does it affect them? Weirdos.

BramStoker · 04/05/2021 19:38

Sounds like a great set up

The people commenting are the weird ones IMHO

WildLadyLucy · 04/05/2021 19:39

A van is SO useful; once you've had one, it's hard to live without. A van and a smaller, smarter runaround is the perfect combination I would say.

newnortherner111 · 04/05/2021 19:40

So your DP has something practical and useful, instead of something that shouts out 'I am a man insecure about the size of my penis'. What a pleasant change.

Hankunamatata · 04/05/2021 19:41

Why is he coming home saying this? He he actually not happy?

BettyUnderswoob · 04/05/2021 19:45

I am so envious of your van, OP

I bet those critical are, too! Ignore them... why does anyone’s choice of transport concern them?

conywarp · 04/05/2021 19:47

People at work. The concept is mind boggling to them, they are the type of people that do literally nothing every so I think the practicality behind it is totally lost on them.

How do they know? How do people at work, that you don't drive to, know what your car/van set up is?

Forgive me, I'm autistic so this really wouldn't form everyday conversation for me. Do you normally chats about the car/van at home with your colleagues?

BelleBlueBell · 04/05/2021 19:47

Just when you think that posters and the people they interact with can't get any weirder a thread like this comes along

I know covid has meant that there isn't much to talk about but I can't imagine anyone I know having such a conversation never mind "loads of people"

How bored must you be at work that someone's partner's vehicle of choice makes the cut for things to talk about more than once?

Why do you keep talking about it and why do you care what they think?

blacksax · 04/05/2021 19:57

Ah, but don't you see? The man is supposed to have a family saloon car and the woman is supposed to have a little run-about.

You're doing it all wrong.

Grin
Howshouldibehave · 04/05/2021 20:02

How do people at a work you don’t drive to, know that your partner has now got a van?!

I don’t get why they’d know or care, let alone be questioning you about it.

Aprilx · 04/05/2021 20:09

How weird. DH and I had one car between us up to the first ten years of marriage. We finally got a second run around for him to take to the station when I started driving to work in another direction. We are back to sharing now.

toconclude · 04/05/2021 20:12

Why is it anyone's business but yours?

ChristmasAlone · 04/05/2021 20:17

@conywarp

People at work. The concept is mind boggling to them, they are the type of people that do literally nothing every so I think the practicality behind it is totally lost on them.

How do they know? How do people at work, that you don't drive to, know what your car/van set up is?

Forgive me, I'm autistic so this really wouldn't form everyday conversation for me. Do you normally chats about the car/van at home with your colleagues?

I've driven in before, pre Covid I went to other offices. I live in Manchester, lots of people don't drive in I still know whether they have a licence or not.

"hey what did you do this weekend"
"Well done X, X and Sunday helped DP in his van"

It's not a particularly out there thing to come up in conversation. It's also not something I actually bring up ever.

OP posts:
bananamonkey · 04/05/2021 20:21

How weird they are!

We only have one car, we live centrally and DH (did) walk to work and I commuted so it was just my car. Then we had a family and I had to swap my lovely easy to park little car for a bigger one. Now we’re both at home full time it’s used even less. I also drive 99% of the time when we’re together so that would make them 🤯

BendingSpoons · 04/05/2021 20:26

We have one car. We both take the train to work and rarely need it at the same time. If we do, one of us drops the other off or walks. My parents have two cars, one smaller and one bigger. They switch around as needed e.g. if my mum has a long drive, she takes my dad's bigger car. I am not a car person, so perfectly happy to share!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 04/05/2021 21:46

I think it sounds very sensible. You don't need another car at the moment by the sounds of things so save the money and enjoy your weekends away!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 04/05/2021 21:50

Also, you are being environmentally friendlier in your choice to not get another car. I doubt these idiots have even thought twice about the environment....

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