My weight stops me from getting a job and everything else

[depressed2021]

Started working as a cleaner end of 2020, have a few clients and I really want to have a 9-5 job now to bring some more money in. There's a few jobs I'm interested in, but I have this mental block where I'm like "ill apply once I lose the weight", for years it's always been like that with everything. My weight stops me from doing anything really, I'm just thinking omg what if I can't fit the uniform , what if the people I'm working with look at me, or I feel uncomfortable and silly things like that. Anyone feels like this sometimes? I'm 19st btw and trying to lose the weight for real now.

Your weight doesnt stop you, your mindset does.

I'm fat, and I have a job. In fact, two of the women i work with are also fat, and they have jobs. My exH is almost 25 stone, and HE has a job. Fat people get jobs too. As long as you are physically able to do the job, you can go for it.

Honestly, don't let your weight hold you back. Its brilliant that you're starting to lose some weight now, so get applying for new jobs as well, and when you've dropped a dress size (or even two), buy yourself a new top or something for the new job. You've got this

With all the kindness I can muster at the end of a day's work, stop being silly. It's not the weight stopping you. You're stopping you and using your weight as an excuse not to risk it because you are afraid of rejection.

You can get perfectly suitable clothing from Primark, M&S, ASOS and almost anywhere that isn't a teenybopper shop, as you're going to be no more than a size 22-24 unless you're under five foot tall. Spend some money on some sensible, supportive shoes as well as the weight on your feet will, if it isn't already, affect them over time.

There are any number of plus size women working in both uniform and non uniform jobs across the country. I'm one of them.

You can do it if you stop deliberately talking yourself out of it before you've even submitted any applications.

I'm obese OP and have successfully managed to hold down a job for 20 years, marry a handsome man, have two children and generally live a good life. My weight does not hold me back.

But I get the mindset OP. I really do. I think you need to look a bit deeper and think about why you think you don't deserve good things in your life. Trust me, it goes way deeper than you're weight.

I understand actually.

I was 17 and a half, have lost 4 stone. Feel so much better.

You CAN do this!

I understand how you feel, OP. It can be hard to imagine what to wear for an interview, what work clothes look like, when you are significantly overweight.

I agree with PPs, though. You absolutely can do it. See it as part of a wholesale mindset shift- this will be the year you get a job, AND you're going to lose weight!

What kind of job are you aiming for?
Start with putting together an interview outfit. It doesn't need to be glamorous, just tidy and suitable. People on the style and Beauty threads will help you if you aren't sure. Just tell them your budget- I have to make clear I'm talking supermarket prices, not fashion retailers. There's a long running thread there, 'plus size what are you wearing' and you can post a photo of you in an outfit and get advice.

Were you anxious around other people before you gained weight? It is usual to be self conscious in new situations, and if you are overweight, makes sense that you would feel uncomfortable, because we live in a culture where fat prejudice is still alive and well. But in reality, most people are too busy with their own lives to think about you and yours. There are always jerks, but if you avoid life because of them you will never go anywhere.

With your current job as a cleaner, that must be fairly active work? So with a effort on diet you may find the weight falls off. But you need to decide when you’re ready to start and set yourself some goals, and non food related rewards.

Yes, you're right. It does go deeper than just my weight. I wasn't raised in the best of homes, physically and emotionally abused by my parents, especially my "mum". She would always pick on what I ate, how fat I was which resulted in a eating disorder when I was a teenager. Never diagnosed, but I suffered from bulimia in my teenage years, and would starve myself for weeks. Even now as an adult I find it very difficult to eat in front of others, stems from my childhood. So I've always been very self conscious about my body , 10 years ago I was 12 stone and now I'm 19 st, never been able to shift the weight since I've had children. Yes I'm aware, it's my mindset that stopping me from enjoying life, I've working on changing my mindset and losing weight. It's so hard to do normal things after years and years of "ill do that once I lose weight" . Anyway just wanted to let you know I've applied for 10 jobs, and will apply for more tomorrow

There have been people of all shapes and sizes in every job I've ever had. Don't let your size hold you back. What matters is your skill set, your work ethic, and what opportunities you put yourself forward for.

You can do it OP .

Well done, 2021!

You've overcome a lot of challenges already, and you've identified something which is now holding you back. Good for you. I hope one of the jobs works out!

Well done Op on applying for all those jobs!
My SIL lost 4.5 stone over 3 years. She initially took up walking for 1 hour a day and built it up to a daily 5k run and changed her eating habits (no snacks in between meals, no eating after 7pm) but never denied herself anything she really likes. If she can do it, so can you! Good luck OP, you CAN do this x

I am fat. (20-22) and I own and run my own business. I am now signed up to my local gym to try and help with my weight issues, but that’s me. There is nothing stopping you. Go and do it!

I got a job interview for a full time care assistant position next week

Congratulations OP All the best for your interview!

@depressed2021
I am so proud of you. They couldn’t have a better candidate.

👏👏👏

Ah well done OP!! That’s great news. Best of luck with your interview.

Congratulations! Best of luck with the interview !

Congratulations on the interview! My big and beautiful friend has just secured a directors position so clearly they liked her just as she is. Smile and just be you. Good luck!

Thank you, means a lot. Finally removing the "mental block" I've had for years preventing me from living my life.

I'm off to buy some new clothes tomorrow

Remember you need to be clean, neat, tidy but most of all yourself.

Just wanted to let you know, I had my interview and have to do 2 days of training 9am-4pm. First day in classroom learning and second day shadowing someone, and then I'll get my shifts, 6 days a week. Amazing things happen when you don't give a fuck and go out there making things happen

One the the most obese people I ever met was a full time primary school teacher!
Granted, I did wonder how she got on during PE lessons... but fair play to her!

You can do it OP!

Congratulations! You superstar! Thats amazing. Best of luck in your new role x