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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving one - who was U?

52 replies

ToChangeorNotToChange · 04/05/2021 09:58

I'll start this by clarifying that I'm a fairly new driver (about 6 months in), so genuinely don't know if I made a bit of a whoops or if I came across a colossal arse this morning.

Driving home from the school run, live quite close to a city centre. The last stretch of road is very bendy, highly residential, has a city hospital and a large secondary school next to each other/end of my route. It has two zebra crossings, one on a bend at the top of a small hill. 'Slow' signs everywhere, teenagers walking in big herds, so many bikes and scooters randomly coming to the side of the road at times. One 4 way junction with a lot of cars going every direction during the traffic rush. Obviously 30 miles an hour at best.

This morning I was quite easily hitting 30 on the lower stretch when noticed an SUV tailgating and trying to overtake. We were approaching a bend/hill with traffic coming down the other direction. I maintained speed but obviously had to drop when approaching the zebra crossing - there's no other way of judging if there are kids trying to cross otherwise and some don't bother looking. They continued to tailgate as all traffic slowed near the hospital/next zebra crossing, one sudden break and my small hatchback was in danger of being squished. Pulled into my estate, had to break before making a turn, they followed flashing their lights continuously and undertook before speeding off.

I know this route like the back of my hand, but as I said a fairly new driver. Had my toddler in the back and 9 months pregnant, felt so sick at the worry I'd have to break and cause an accident. I'm generally not an unconfident driver, but this has thrown me. I know AIBU loves to judge a bit of rubbish driving Grin - so did I deserve to be given a bit of a scare or did I just come across an arse who thinks their day is more important than anyone else's?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 04/05/2021 10:08

He was a big fucking arsehole driving stupidly
What was the speed limit? Unlikely to be more than 30 given your description

conywarp · 04/05/2021 10:09

Obviously 30 miles an hour at best.

What is the speed limit?

Yes he is an arse.

Next time pull over and let him pass.

LordEmsworth · 04/05/2021 10:12

Someone was trying to overtake you while you were doing 30 in a 30 zone?

How is that rubbish driving on your part? What am I missing? The only thing I'd say you did "wrong" was trying to maintain speed when it wasn't necessarily safe to do so, you don't have to obey the twat acting like a twat.

did I deserve to be given a bit of a scare or did I just come across an arse who thinks their day is more important than anyone else's? Are those the only options?

Ilikewinter · 04/05/2021 10:13

Yep he sounds like an arse. I have to say that ive noticed an increase in crap driving recently.

SarahAndQuack · 04/05/2021 10:14

That sounds really odd. Have you checked your brake lights/general state of your car? The only thing I can think is that he was flashing you because something was wrong. Otherwise, yes, he's a dick, but I can't see how you wouldn't know that.

gamerchick · 04/05/2021 10:14

He was an arse. Obviously the safest thing to do is pull over and let them past but the school run is shit as it is.

It's nothing to do with you being a new driver, you'll meet arseholes over and over again for the rest of your driving life.

Yawnthisway · 04/05/2021 10:15

I’ve had the situation before where they are so bloody close your entire focus becomes maintaining exact speed so they don’t hit you it’s horrible op. I drive rurally a bit and I only have small engine car so when it’s hilly and bendy sometimes my car struggles to get back to up the speed it should be after a bend if I’m going up hill. The best thing to do in that situation is pull over and let them get past. If you can’t pull over then funnily enough the next best thing is to slow down further so that if they do hit you it’s lower impact.

Tempusfudgeit · 04/05/2021 10:17

100% arse. You were driving correctly in the circumstances. Don't doubt yourself! Always assume schoolchildren might suddenly cross (happened to me several times). Good luck with your new baby - exciting times! 😀

Original poster
ToChangeorNotToChange · 04/05/2021 10:18

What is the speed limit?

30 miles an hour! Though reading MN sometimes it seems the speed limit is more 'guidelines than rules' Confused.

Yes he is an arse.

Next time pull over and let him pass.

He (I assume) was so close I won't lie, I panicked and just tried to maintain speed. It was traffic on the other side/bends that stopped any overtaking. It's not a long road at all and only gets busier/slower the closer you get to the hospital. If you continue, you eventually get to a 4 way lights junction, with most traffic heading to the city centre. It's one of the most traffic-y roads you can get at times (never mind when they chuck temporary traffic lights into the mix with no prior warning).

OP posts:
greenlynx · 04/05/2021 10:21

You were right. We had a few places on the way to DD’s school like you’ve described. You can’t be too careful at the time of the school run in an area like this. The road on the other side of the school has 30mph but believe me in reality it’s 5-10 mph between 8.15-8.45.
The only thing I would say next time slow down well in advance considering the attitude of the driver behind.
It’s true, there are lot of important arses on the road.

Original poster
ToChangeorNotToChange · 04/05/2021 10:21

Thank you everyone. Feels almost trivial now, but first time I've been in a tailgate situation like this, just had such a fear for the kids (outside and inside my car!). Cant even ask the husband for reassurance as he's one of the awful terrible non-drivers Grin.

OP posts:
ArosGartref · 04/05/2021 10:22

People are terrible drivers. Some of those terrible drivers are also arseholes.

EL8888 · 04/05/2021 10:23

He sounds the unreasonable one. Personally l wouldn’t let him pass, kind of pointless as he would get caught at the next crossing probably

RandomMess · 04/05/2021 10:26

Complete arse.

It's mainly 20mph around our town and some drivers are incandescent that you do your best to stick to it. We have some awful streets at school time lots of junctions, huge primary schools, parked card everywhere and my focus has to be on all these extra hazards not ensuring that I am hitting 20mph when they want you to do 30mph 🙄

LindaEllen · 04/05/2021 10:26

He's a complete arsehole. The best advice I'd give is never feel pressured to speed up for someone else. Drive as you know how. If they're intimidating you or driving too close, simply pull over and let them past - you don't need dicks like that spoiling your day.

MindyStClaire · 04/05/2021 10:37

Complete arse. There's a road near us that's 30, and should absolutely be 30, but I occasionally get tail gating wankers weaving all over the back of my car going up the hill doing 30 in a rush to get to the dual carriageway. Their issue, not mine.

Nith · 04/05/2021 10:39

You'll come across a few of these idiots in your driving career, don't let them intimidate you. But it is worth pulling into the side if you can and letting them pass you and go and harass someone else.

chloeb8 · 04/05/2021 10:41

Sounds like a massive nob to me.

SpiesRUs · 04/05/2021 10:46

To my shame I have been on a speed awareness course and they said if someone is tailgating you to pressure you in to speeding up then the safest thing is to gradually reduce your speed as it would reduce the speed of any impact.

Driver of the other car was a knob. Hope you don't let this put you off driving.

Reinventinganna · 04/05/2021 10:55

I saw two drivers (separately obviously) being tailgated on the dual carriageway last week. They sped up and the car doing the tailgating stuck on their lights and pulled them over. Undercover police.

I also recently had someone doing it to me, really close, flashing their lights, waving etc. I thought something was wrong so pulled over. They carried on. Just impatient idiots.

You did the right thing by maintaining your speed.

Original poster
ToChangeorNotToChange · 04/05/2021 10:55

I have to say, in my short time driving the school run is definitely the most insane time I've had to deal with. The other week, there was a standoff between two cars as to a right of way (funnily enough again involving an SUV that had barge through and left no room for maneuvers), and a white van decided that the best way to deal with it was to drive fully and speedily down the pavement. Not just to undertake - all the way to the junction. Still caught up to him as traffic was so bad. I may live in an area of arsehole drivers come to think of it....

OP posts:
doublehalo · 04/05/2021 11:01

If someone is tailgating you the advise is to slow down.

Ginuwine · 04/05/2021 11:06

The best thing you can do OP is remember that it's your road too.

It doesn't matter how much a person is spending per month on their jumped up box on stilts, they can't bully you with it if you remember that you could be in a G-Wiz and it's still your road.

You have as much right to drive as you were, which was to the speed limit, observing potential hazards up ahead, and being mindful.

OhRene · 04/05/2021 11:08

You're fine. He's a dick.

Can I advise you get some front and rear dash cams installed. It's an outlay for sure but worth they're absolutely weight in gold if they're ever needed.

This aggressive driving should have been filmed and sent to the police so the dickhead could take a speed/driving awareness course or two!

I used to live on a farm just off an A road. It was right on a stretch where people liked to put their foot down. Quite often people behind me took huge issue with me indicating (in plenty of time) and then, shock horror, slowing down and actually turning into my own driveway! How dare I?!
The amount of times I had people almost slam into the back of me because, I can only assume, they thought my indicating and braking was me just kidding.

BingBunnyIsAnnoying · 04/05/2021 11:14

OP you did nothing wrong. There's a lot of ppl on the road that simply don't want anybody in front of them

When ppl tailgate me I slow down. I'll happily do 20mph in a 30mph if required