About comments from colleague about me using Facebook

[CathyTurnbull]

I feel a little upset. A colleague of mine (let’s call her Kate) is looking for a new job and I casually asked why as she had always seemed so happy. She was a bit vague saying she’d had a few issues within the department and wanted a change etc.

I was then chatting to another colleague (let’s call her Sam) who said that Kate felt there was a lot of favouritism within the department and it seemed that people are rewarded not by how hard they work or how good they are at their job but how popular they seem to be on Facebook especially with our head of department (let’s call her Anne). I feel this general remark was definitely aimed at me.

At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.

My colleagues went very quiet as I assumed they didn’t want to get involved which is fine, but Sam has seemed a bit dismissive for a long time. Anne is really nice and supportive but I feel there is some animosity with other colleagues.

Nothing has been said directly to me but now things are starting to resume a bit of normality there seems to be a coldness and distancing. I sometimes hear things said like ‘I’d never post x, y or z as it’s completely unprofessional and lacking in integrity’. Anne posts loads of stuff all the time on SM

I’m not sure if I’m over thinking this? How would you feel if you were me?

[Devlesko]

Some places sack you for this, it's most unprofessional, I'm surprised you didn't receive a warning tbh.
I wouldn't like a colleague airing my work details on sm, it's not the platform.
I've an ex friend (not black) who became very political with BLM, she had to change her name and profile when she was applying for teaching work, yet she was full of herself on sm.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

Some places sack you for this, it's most unprofessional, I'm surprised you didn't receive a warning tbh.

For what? You haven’t seen the post, and don’t have any context!

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

She's not 'airing work details'. She's commenting on governmental policy regarding the self-employed and Covid.

[thisplaceisweird]

Having a strong presence on social media means absolutely nothing. It's your friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances.

Standing on a chair and shouting a load of rubbish at a family party doesn't make an important public speaker

[badacorn]

If you rant on SM for your colleagues to read then deal with the consequences. You may think you’re right but your words and behaviour might come across differently to others, think about how others might interpret what you are doing.

Also if you are in the uk there are very few people who will tell a colleague to their face you’re being unprofessional/any other blunt criticism. People just don’t get that confrontational here.

[luckylavender]

I'd be sacked if I used FB for that purpose. Totally unprofessional.

[NeedNewKnees]

This is all so immature and unnecessary.

OP, you are manufacturing drama where there is none. I wouldn't wonder if colleagues are fed up with it.

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

@luckylavender

I'd be sacked if I used FB for that purpose. Totally unprofessional.

For what purpose? How can you be sacked for criticizing government policy regarding a completely separate sector from that in which you work? Especially when that sector is 'the self-employed'? The only one I can think of is the civil service. Or the Tory party, I guess.

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

Brilliant. Now I've managed to report a post by mistake. Bloody hell.

[ArnoldJudasRimmer]

I don't think most adults care about social media popularity as much as you? They maybe just want to avoid the Facebook ranting, it's tiring, especially if you act similarly in person.

[unfortunateevents]

Why can your colleagues even see what you post on social media? For God's sake, lock it down and maybe keep your defence of the self-employed to in-person conversations. Also if people would really leave a job because of what colleagues post on SM, not even specifically related to their job/company, then I have to ask - are you all 16?! This is not the behaviour of grown-ups.

[Therealjudgejudy]

You sound very immature, not to mention unprofessional...

[lottiegarbanzo]

I love the idea that posting something opinionated on social media = 'standing up for people' or 'representing people', rather than just mouthing off in a virtual pub with your mates, which is what it is.

[BobLemon]

I understood the OP just fine.

OP, I think your colleagues probably do resent you and for a couple of reasons.

1. I suspect they’ve seen a bit of a different side to you through your SM presence and that they aren’t so keen on that side. They may just not have the “energy” for the SM stuff, or worst case they may genuinely think you’re virtue signalling or unprofessional.
   
2. Subconscious bias towards people who mirror ourselves is certainly a thing. Whether it actually exists, or they just perceive it might, a positive bias towards you from your manager (because it sounds like you and your manager are on a similar level/vibe with your SM stuff) is blocking their opportunities.
   

Resentment, or jealously, probably exists even if in a small dose.

You can’t change this though. You might feel a bit guilty that your colleague is leaving and in some small part it might be linked to you.

You’re clearly already aware that there are opposing perceptions to your SM activity, so lack of awareness isn’t a problem.

The equilibrium at work won’t last forever. A replacement for your departing colleague will probably reset things and this will be forgotten. Breathe out, don’t over think this, shrug and move on.

[BertramLacey]

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand

My personal rules for social media:

- I never, ever friend people I work with. Once I'm leaving a job, I might add those that I genuinely want to stay in touch with.
- I don't list my job, except on LinkedIn. My Facebook does not state my employer.
- I don't refer to my work at all, except in the most anodyne terms (E.g. "excited to be starting a new job next week")
- Anything I post is my own views only, nothing that I am not happy to be 100% in the public domain, and I never discuss what I post at work.

I stick to this. No SM at work, no work on SM. Not even anything related e.g. if I were working in nature conservation, I wouldn't post anything related to national parks, unless it was anodyne/ work approved. I certainly don't get political in any way that pertains to work.

[CirclesWithinCircles]

Is your workplace identifiable by your postings on social media? Even indirectly?

Your OP is so vague it seems at odds with what you have described as fairly detailed posts on social media.

At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.

The proper mechanism for this is through a recognised trade union, as you then have legal protection.

I can't believe that any adult is under any confusion that posting about their work on Facebook is a good idea.

You do seem a bit obsessed with Facebook. I think you have to be careful with social media. You might see it as giving you a platform or a voice to speak out about injustice, but its not really like that. There is a duty of confidentiality owed within the workplace and to your work colleagues. If your comments are very general, then of course thats fine but thats not really a social media issue, its a difference of ethos between those willing to speak out and those not.

[MichaelBoltonsLeftLeg]

I’m utterly perplexed why anyone would put anything - positive or negative - about their job on Facebook or other social media, or have work colleagues with access to their full profile.

[An0n0n0n]

I think what youre really annoyed about is that you feel embarrassed because you thought you were being really strong and empowered and now you think others think you were being a bit silly.

Thats not your problem but equally its not theirs. They are allowed to feel like that.

You cant be to everyones taste but consider walking a middle lone because the people who are being off woth you may well represent the feelings of a future employer or boss.

[BertramLacey]

I’m sure they think all SM is rather silly which makes me feel belittled.

I use SM a fair bit. My OH thinks Facebook is the devil's work and very silly. I do not feel belittled by this. I kind of agree with him, whilst also thinking FB has its place and can be useful.
I think the SM thing is in some ways a red herring. Your colleagues seem to dislike the connection you have with your boss. I'd perhaps look deeper at that, if it's causing one of them to leave. It may be her, it may be you.

[Maggiesfarm]

Cathy Turnball: At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.
.......
All seemingly well intentioned but what did you achieve? Please don't do it again.

If you feel so strongly, speak to or lobby those in charge personally, not on social media.

[AlfonsoTheTerrible]

tl;dr: I virtue-signalled all over FaceBook and now I'm complaining on MN about how my virtue-signalling annoyed my co-workers.

[KarmaStar]

Getting a. Headache just trying to understand this post

[MimiDaisy11]

I don't see the link between favouritism and social media. How does that work? I think in most places what you do on social media wouldn't positively affect you even if you get lots of likes etc.

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

I agree that should realize posting about their workplace on SM is a no-no and likely to be prohibited by a workplace policy.
I don't agree that an adult can't use their own Facebook page to pass comment on government policy regarding self-employed workers and Covid.
I agree that, after a while, such behaviour is likely to make people think they're a sanctimonious old bore and give them a wide berth.

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

Why can't I bloody type today?
I agree that any adult should realize posting, etc etc