About comments from colleague about me using Facebook

[CathyTurnbull]

I feel a little upset. A colleague of mine (let’s call her Kate) is looking for a new job and I casually asked why as she had always seemed so happy. She was a bit vague saying she’d had a few issues within the department and wanted a change etc.

I was then chatting to another colleague (let’s call her Sam) who said that Kate felt there was a lot of favouritism within the department and it seemed that people are rewarded not by how hard they work or how good they are at their job but how popular they seem to be on Facebook especially with our head of department (let’s call her Anne). I feel this general remark was definitely aimed at me.

At the beginning of the pandemic I felt people in certain sectors had been completely mistreated and did heavily use social media as a platform to get my voice heard to try and represent people.

My colleagues went very quiet as I assumed they didn’t want to get involved which is fine, but Sam has seemed a bit dismissive for a long time. Anne is really nice and supportive but I feel there is some animosity with other colleagues.

Nothing has been said directly to me but now things are starting to resume a bit of normality there seems to be a coldness and distancing. I sometimes hear things said like ‘I’d never post x, y or z as it’s completely unprofessional and lacking in integrity’. Anne posts loads of stuff all the time on SM

I’m not sure if I’m over thinking this? How would you feel if you were me?

[ForThePurposeOfTheTape]

It really depends on your job /industry.

I have supermarket workers as FB friends and they posted stuff like "please be patient and not abuse supermarket staff" "please try and shop on your own if you can" sort of things which I don't think is unprofessional although it relates to their job and industry.

I've also seen profile frames like "I can't stay at home because I'm a healthcare worker" which is a sort of political statement.

If you think there is a chance that your SM can be construed as unprofessional or kissing arse to management then maybe you should consider removing colleagues or sticking to personal lifestyle content like a picture of the cherry blossom visible from your window?

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

'Why are you shouting?'

🙄

'Since the OP actually mentions that she wasn't eligible for govt financial support, it may well be that she and her colleagues are technically self-employed. Therefore people might assume that she was criticising her employer.'

1. She doesn't expressly say she wasn't eligible for government support because she was self-employed. She may have been self-employed then, and employed now; she may have been ineligible for other reasons.
   
   
2. Self-employed or no, she was still attacking government policy and not her employer - she is, after all, still there which she surely wouldn't be if the colleagues who seem to dislike her so intensely could get her out with a few screenshots and emails to HR. It may make her a crashing bore, and it's probably lost her some friends, but it wouldn't be against employer policy unless, as I've said, she perhaps works for the government.

[Topseyt]

Your posts are as clear as mud but I’ll comment on the few bits I hope I “might” have sort of understood.

It is extremely unprofessional to comment about your job and employer on any form of social media. You have been very silly and if it bites you on the arse now you will deserve everything you get.

I don’t see why your other colleague searching for another job is any of your business at all. Just drop it and don’t get involved. She doesn’t need to tell you anything at all and you should not be trying to dig at her to find out more.

If you somehow think you are being the voice of the masses you are deluded. Stop this shit before you get yourself fired, if it isn’t already too late.

[WellLarDeDar]

TBH I do think it's unprofessional to post about your job on social media. Personally I keep my work and personal life separate and dont 'friend' colleagues or discuss work related matters on SM. I have work friends but very rarely do they end up a personal friend.

[CokeDrinker]

@CathyTurnbull

I stood up for the 3m self employed people excluded from government support. I too was excluded from financial support but I don’t think it was quite as bad for me because my husband was able to support us as he is a key worker. I felt compelled to speak out and try and support the excluded. I don’t know why my colleagues would have a problem with that.

Maybe your colleagues felt you were grandstanding and just after attention and glory for yourself? I am trying to be fair and consider that your motives may be genuine, but I do find that those who are the most gobby on SM are usually attention-seekers after the 'likes' and praise. Maybe your motives are genuine, but anyone doing it on SM, automatically I see them as only after attention for themselves. It's really only a platform for the self-indulgent so my immediate automatic reaction is to doubt the motives of those using SM to claim to represent others.

[Oneeyeopen]

If you wish to post about government policies on your fb page thats up to you.
Can't think why that would annoy colleagues.
Are you sure its not something else that's bothering them.
Also if you do post opinions on sm then don't complain if other people disagree with you.
If you put yourself out there someone will invariably comment.

[CokeDrinker]

@CathyTurnbull

I’m upset because I feel others within my department think I am unprofessional without directly saying it to me.

I do have a good relationship with Anne, and I think Sam and Kate feel pushed out or jealous because of that.

I also feel a bit uncomfortable because I think Kate and Sam feel I am favoured because Anne and I have a strong presence on SM and they don’t. I’m sure they think all SM is rather silly which makes me feel belittled.

I’m upset because I feel others within my department think I am unprofessional without directly saying it to me.

Why would they say it to you directly? You'd just spew it all over facebook. Hence their point of not telling you. They're trying to avoid drama and abuse.

I’m sure they think all SM is rather silly

It IS!!!

[Lweji]

Facebook is really childish imo

It is what you make of it.

[CokeDrinker]

Facebook is really childish imo and not to be used for professional reasons (unless it's a professional/business page). You say they didn't tell you how they felt, did it occur to you that perhaps they didn't feel they could? That you may get upset, dismissive or agitated with them? The people I know who spread all their professional and personal lives on facebook are highly strung, rather aggressive and quick to create drama and take offence. This is just my personal experience mind, but from several of them, they're not exactly the type you can be honest with and expect a level-headed conversation. I suspect they feel you'll blow up and create a drama.

I myself think Facebook should be banned from work and no discussion or use allowed for work reasons. It causes too much trouble and has caused actual face-to-face communication to break down. Talk to people face to face, not through facebook. Yeah, sorry, but I too look down on people who play out their work lives (as well as personal lives) on facebook. Not professional, not mature. And I certainly wouldn't want to associate with people like that at work, and if my workplace had people playing out our work lives and colleague drams on facebook, I would want a transfer out of that playpen asap to to be placed with mature adults who are imbued with professionalism.
Facebook should be left to teenagers.

[DrSbaitso]

I've read your posts, OP, but I'm still unclear about how relevant what you posted was to your job. As others have said, are you a self-employed hairdresser who rents a chair in a salon or something equivalent?

As for feeling belittled by the fact that some colleagues think social media is silly, you'll just have to deal with that. People don't all have to love it.

I'm a bit put off by how much you seem to ask and know about your colleagues' motivations and inner thoughts despite very little proof. It might not be your social media they're finding difficult.

[Tambora]

@LobotomisedIceSkatingFan

SHE'S NOT BLOODY DISCUSSING HER EMPLOYER! SHE'S CRITICIZING GOVERNMENT POLICY ON FINANCIAL PACKAGES FOR THE SELF-EMPLOYED DURING COVID!

Why are you shouting?

Since the OP actually mentions that she wasn't eligible for govt financial support, it may well be that she and her colleagues are technically self-employed. Therefore people might assume that she was criticising her employer.

Posting highly opinionated, political or critical stuff on social media isn't always a terribly good idea when you know that a lot of work contacts will see the comments.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

@memberofthewedding

People have been disciplined or even dismissed for publicly dissing their employer on social media. It is regarded as very unprofessional conduct by many people.

I’m sure the vast majority of people know this. It would only be relevant if the OP had slated her employer - and there’s absolutely nothing in her posts to confirm this is the case.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

@CorianderBee

I'd never have my colleagues on Facebook tbh. That's what Twitter and Insta are for

It’s hilarious that you think there is any difference here 😆😆😆

[Killahangilion]

Are you working in the hair and beauty sector?

A lot of hairdressers for instance, are self employed and rent a chair in a salon. They won’t have received govt. help. during the pandemic and a lot of them are really struggling.

It’s completely normal for hairdressers to use social media and post pictures of their work and stuff about their salon, events, product reviews etc. This is encouraged by most salon owners.

In addition, the relationships between staff working in salons can sometimes be a bit too intense and there’s definitely a lot of favouritism shown by salon managers towards their favourites. If you’re just there to do your clients and not getting involved in the out of salon activities, you can quickly get pushed out.

Are you working in this sector OP?

[MimiDaisy11]

While I think people are jumping to conclusions and claiming things the OP never said, I do think people posting should try to make their opening post as clear as possible.

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

SHE'S NOT BLOODY DISCUSSING HER EMPLOYER! SHE'S CRITICIZING GOVERNMENT POLICY ON FINANCIAL PACKAGES FOR THE SELF-EMPLOYED DURING COVID!

[woofgoesthecat]

Your colleagues are right. What you’ve done is ’completely unprofessional and lacking in integrity’. Sounds like you are the only one not getting it. Total lack of self-awareness.

[Daphnise]

From your very unclear opening post, I'd say you were meddling and should have minded your own business.

Choosing to represent people....Did they ask you? Even of they did they may have been using you to put your head above the parapet.

In any case some of your folly does seem to be coming back to bite you.

Why not pipe down on socila media about work- before you are fired!

[memberofthewedding]

People have been disciplined or even dismissed for publicly dissing their employer on social media. It is regarded as very unprofessional conduct by many people.

[CorianderBee]

I'd never have my colleagues on Facebook tbh. That's what Twitter and Insta are for

[Newkitchen123]

This is work. It's not a playground. You sound about five.
Social media... The clue is in the name... Social. Keep work out of it. It would be disciplinary action in many workplaces.

[user1471457751]

You don't even know if the person leaving has anything to do with you! You've created this whole backstory in your head about how it's to do with you, your relationship with the manager and your posts on social media but nobody has actually said that to you.
You seem to like creating drama and imagining you are more important than you are

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

Why can't I bloody type today?
I agree that any adult should realize posting, etc etc

[LobotomisedIceSkatingFan]

I agree that should realize posting about their workplace on SM is a no-no and likely to be prohibited by a workplace policy.
I don't agree that an adult can't use their own Facebook page to pass comment on government policy regarding self-employed workers and Covid.
I agree that, after a while, such behaviour is likely to make people think they're a sanctimonious old bore and give them a wide berth.

[MimiDaisy11]

I don't see the link between favouritism and social media. How does that work? I think in most places what you do on social media wouldn't positively affect you even if you get lots of likes etc.