Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask: do you have an inner-monologue?

529 replies

allthatgrace · 03/05/2021 21:32

I don't have an inner-monologue and never realised that some people do. My thoughts are rapid, abstract and conceptual rather than verbal.

For example, if I am thinking that I'm hungry and want to start making dinner it takes the form of something like: concept of hunger+concept of dinner+concept of it being the evening/dinner time. After speaking to my family members they would have an inner-voice that actually says "I'm hungry, I think I'll go start dinner".

I have also always been confused about the idea of having an inner-critic that berates you. I've never heard an inner-voice say, for example, "nobody cares what you have to say, don't bother speaking, everything you say is stupid", instead I would just feel the sensation of shyness and wanting to stay quiet.

I can make myself have an inner-voice and I will use it occasionally, for example if I'm trying to remember a particular phrase or something but my default thinking is not an inner-monologue.

Which kind of thoughts do you have?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/05/2021 22:11

Constant!

SelkieFly · 03/05/2021 22:11

Oh yes

Doyoumind · 03/05/2021 22:11

Those who can't visualise, do you have visual memories?

babbaloushka · 03/05/2021 22:11

Yes, but I also have ADHD so an unfortunate amount of inner monologue also ends up as outer monologue...

BrightYellowDaffodil · 03/05/2021 22:12

I can visualise things but it’s quite nebulous, like seeing something out of the corner of your eye but it’s gone when you try to look at it properly.

I’d say I have an inner monologue but I spend a lot of time alone, either at home or in the car, so it’s more of an outer monologue! It’s like I’m talking to someone and quite useful if I’m trying to mull something over, it’s like I’m explaining my thoughts to someone else.

CandyLeBonBon · 03/05/2021 22:12

@Bopahula

Yes yes yes. Constantly. It's so noisy.

And for visuals yes, when I read a book it's like being in a film. I get completely immersed. Not like on a screen watching it, but I'm watching from the middle of it. The characters have different voices/accents. It means anything scary is completely off limits though.

I also can have amazing daydreams. Although they're not as vivid as they were. Which I miss at night when trying to settle into a nice sleep.

Yes. Reading a book is like a film playing in my head
happinessischocolate · 03/05/2021 22:12

@MumUndone

I don't think that imagining conversations is the same as having an inner monologue. I can imagine myself and other people talking, but I don't have an inner voice that 'talks' to me; it is just abstract thoughts and feelings. The idea of having a voice in my head is so interesting but not something I've ever experienced.
When you have an inner monologue you don't "choose" to imagine conversations, they're just there rabbiting away in the background, there's no thinking about the best thing to say it's just your brain running away with how it thinks the conversation will go 🤷‍♀️
CanofCant · 03/05/2021 22:13

@Doyoumind

I have a constant inner monologue. I'm also a maladaptive daydreamer though and I don't think you can be a daydreamer without one.

I'm very happy in my own company. I've often wondered if that's because I'm very chatty with myself!

This me too! Until recently I just assumed everyone was like this. Very interesting to find otherwise.
BrightYellowDaffodil · 03/05/2021 22:13

When I read, I don’t read the words by saying then in my head, I just absorb the meaning.

I do this too. Absorbing the meaning is the perfect way of describing it!

KurtWilde · 03/05/2021 22:15

@babbaloushka

Yes, but I also have ADHD so an unfortunate amount of inner monologue also ends up as outer monologue...
Same here.
Lyricallie · 03/05/2021 22:15

Omg this is so interesting. I actually have no idea. I don't think so. I agree with people regarding reading, I don't read the words I just absorb the means and picture what's happening. I can definitely see things in my mind, I used to replay parts of movies in my head when I was trying to sleep as a kid.

I agree with someone saying about more than one thought at a time as they are separate.

I think I don't have an inner voice. I like to think out wild scenarios if I'm bored so I do daydream. Like I imagine sitting in church and imagine if everyone got up and started dancing.

My brain now hurts.

SwanShaped · 03/05/2021 22:15

Woah I had no idea that not everyone has an inner monologue! For those who don’t, what is there between the random thoughts? And how often long are the gaps between thoughts? Do you get periods of silence?

Slippy78 · 03/05/2021 22:16

What do people mean about visualising? I've never been able to conjure up an image but can others? It's more abstract for me in that sense.
Can people actually picture things like a screen?
Yep, most people. You'll be one of the 1 in 50 that have Aphantasia.

DaveMinion · 03/05/2021 22:16

@Wafflewombat

I have adhd & apparently one of the reasons sleep is more difficult is my brain never shuts up.

I was always amazed when my DH said he had periods of not thinking.

Same! But also my inner monologue is mainly an outer monologue. I work with a couple of people with adhd (and a couple I highly suspect). It’s def an adhd thing lol.
Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 03/05/2021 22:16

Dh is always calling me a nutter cos he can see me having conversations with myself

apalledandshocked · 03/05/2021 22:17

@Iyland

apalledandshocked

Oh my, that's crazy to me Shock

It feels crazy to me not to be able to do it. Although I am rubbish at remembering stuff because my imagination changes details. Also, often quite bad at paying attention to boring stuff because my head is more interesting.
Owesye · 03/05/2021 22:17

I just don’t understand this?? You hear someone (you ?) talking all the time? That sounds so weird and confusing

bitheby · 03/05/2021 22:17

I have an almost constant inner critic. You are so lucky not to!

EastWestWhosBest · 03/05/2021 22:18

@BrightYellowDaffodil

When I read, I don’t read the words by saying then in my head, I just absorb the meaning.

I do this too. Absorbing the meaning is the perfect way of describing it!

Yes, this.

I read aloud to children a lot and I’m usually actually reading a couple of lines ahead. Also I’m often not listening.

As for my internal dialogue it’s kind of a mixture of what is mentioned here. Sometimes it’s concepts like ‘cooking’ ‘empty dishwasher’ and sometimes it’s like a conversation.

Unsure33 · 03/05/2021 22:18

My head is full of thoughts and chatter all the time . It drives me mad .

Sometimes I have awful thoughts as well and the more I try to make them go away the worse it gets .

I don’t have much visual stuff . Just constant words and thoughts .

MoreOnlyMore · 03/05/2021 22:18

I can't see things in my head. For example: I can't seem sons face without it being infrom of me. I also dream with people having no faces - I just know who it's meant to be.

I don't have internal chatter either. I mean occasionally I'll think 'I'm hungry so I'll make food'. But there isn't anything else really. Is the chatter just thoughts ? Are they the same thing?

I think things through when they are work related - like bounce different opinions around in head for a minute or two when making a decision.

EchidnaKidney · 03/05/2021 22:19

I thought I had an inner monologue until a thread like this on here a while ago. Then I realised I don't! I'm very much conceptual and visual in my thinking. I can occasionally think to myself "stop it you daftie" or similar, or I can have a conversation with myself if I want to but my thoughts day to day aren't in sound. I'm also super imaginative and daydreamy and love diving into my own mind. Oh and words are my brain's "thing" despite my thinking. Not sure what's going on there!

Original poster
allthatgrace · 03/05/2021 22:20

Wow I hadn't expected the vast majority of replies to be people who do have an inner-monologue, I expected more of a 50-50 split or something.

If I had to describe my thoughts I would say they are maybe like a spider diagram/mind map with different concepts. A thought would be different parts of the spider diagram linking up, if that makes sense. It happens really quickly and when I try and think with a monologue it really slows me down.

OP posts:
wheresmymojo · 03/05/2021 22:20

Yes, inner monologue here.

However I don't think mine is as constant as other people's - possibly due to lots of therapy.

It means I very rarely have a critical inner voice anymore so I get plenty of periods of (short) silences which is nice.

It definitely doesn't feel exhausting.

I once read a book, some kind of chick lit where they ran through all the thoughts she was having and I couldn't believe how exhausting it seemed. I couldn't read the book as even reading it made me feel tired!

Iyland · 03/05/2021 22:20

Those who can't visualise, do you have visual memories?

Yes and no. I can remember the way things were without seeing them. I'm not really sure how to explain it really. Oddly though I do dream visually. I rarely dream but when I do its like watching a film.