To ask: do you have an inner-monologue?

[allthatgrace]

I don't have an inner-monologue and never realised that some people do. My thoughts are rapid, abstract and conceptual rather than verbal.

For example, if I am thinking that I'm hungry and want to start making dinner it takes the form of something like: concept of hunger+concept of dinner+concept of it being the evening/dinner time. After speaking to my family members they would have an inner-voice that actually says "I'm hungry, I think I'll go start dinner".

I have also always been confused about the idea of having an inner-critic that berates you. I've never heard an inner-voice say, for example, "nobody cares what you have to say, don't bother speaking, everything you say is stupid", instead I would just feel the sensation of shyness and wanting to stay quiet.

I can make myself have an inner-voice and I will use it occasionally, for example if I'm trying to remember a particular phrase or something but my default thinking is not an inner-monologue.

Which kind of thoughts do you have?

Umm....I am pretty smart in certain areas not in others. I would say I am clever, qualified teacher and clever enough to get out of teaching. My ds would say I am not clever.....

Good at mental maths, quick at processing etc...

For those who don’t have an inner monologue - do you daydream/fantasise?

My day dreams are ridiculously elaborate with dialogue and imagery and god knows what else. I play them in my head like a movie - with music and colours and facial expressions and smells and all manner of sensory confetti!

Sometimes, when I am problem solving I will reach a solution in my head, and then articulate it straight after in my head too.

@Hohofortherobbers

Yes, my thoughts are like chatter in my head, I often find myself moving my lips in time with it and pulling expressions, my dm catches me out sometimes and pulls me up on it, I expect I look a little deranged when I do it

I thought I was the only one, my dc (grown up) tell me too. I'm scared i'll scare my grand kids if I carry on.

Gosh this really interesting - I have an inner monologue / I maladaptive daydream , particularly at night when I place myself in my own wee world with detailed conversations with all the other players. However I visualise things in colour - all numbers have a specific colour for example as do letters , smells ( either perfumes or random smells) and when I read I seem to look at the whole page rather than line by line. I assumed for a very long time that everyone was the same

Just to add , re the intelligence thing - I seem to pick up and retain random facts easily - I am the go to for quizzes and any odd questions. I appreciate this does not make me any more intelligent though, merely a bit of an information magpie

I have always found it amazing that my partner can go through the day with no thoughts! Silence! Yet my mind is constantly filled with thoughts,ideas, worries, scenarios, past events etc!! It's exhausting!! I can't remember my brain ever being off or silent..ever! I also talk to my inner self alot now!!! Slightly crazy you might say!!

I'm pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD so I don't think my inner-monologue would ever be able to focus long enough to get to the end of a sentence. I think my thoughts are more of a string of observations.

Oh yes, and like others have said I ALWAYS have a song playing on loop in the back ground of my thoughts. Today it's that 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' song.

I asked the Academically clever question - I find it interesting that many of you with minds like mine could follow my reasoning and answer as I knew you would (those paragraphs flashing through my mind!)

I do find this so interesting because I think I have one of each DC

My DS is like me and my DD is not ! I love them both equally and I struggle to understand DD (definitely struggled to understand exH) and this thread has really helped me - enormously. I feel I have just stepped up my Mum-ness 20 gears.

Someone asked the male v female Q

I know some men with vivid and fast minds like me, not many mind.

Then I think to DS who has the fast mind but he also has the Maths Skills (OMG To whoever said they have to write the numbers down - this is me, no visual ability with them like I do with words)
So DS seems to have an even bigger mind skill set - perhaps his chatty mind may be rarer in male form but I don't think his maths is. He is academically able whereas his quiet mind sister is average at school but I mentioned her extraordinary drawing skills already !

@allthatgrace Thank you for this thread. I know you have ended up more in the minority with all of us noisy mind blathering away, but your insight has really helped me.

Looking at these posts I think we perhaps need to define 'inner monologue'.. to some it seems to be a form of narrating your life to yourself, thinking aloud perhaps as you go about your day? To others it's taking place of a conversation in your head.. with yourself or an imaginary other? (I know I do the latter, not so much the former, an 'inner dialogue' you could say as someone said above.)

And to others it's daydreaming/maladaptive daydreams. I think this is different to having an 'inner monologue' as such, as it seems to take place as fantasies/storylines etc. Seems some PPs have one or the other, or both? Are they all different?

@adrianmolesmole we need a tick list
(Love the username)

Yep. Mine doesn't stop. I often wonder how animals "think" without an internal monologue as they don't speak English etc.

For those who don’t have an inner monologue - do you daydream/fantasise?

Yes. Easily.

I never stop talking in my head! There is always something going on. I never knew if this was normal or not?

@RowanAlong

HalcyonSea Neither. It doesn’t sound like ‘me’ as a recording, or as the sound I hear when I speak. It’s an inner voice, a sort of ‘control voice’ or ‘narrator’ voice.

It’s not loud to me or or obtrusive or chatty or constant as others have suggested. It doesn’t interfere with my day or my thoughts, it ‘is’ my day and ‘is’ my thoughts.

So fascinating. What does the voice sound like then? Its tone, pitch, accent etc. If it isn't you, can you compare it to someone else?

@miafeta

The monologue in my head does not stop even when I sleep. I am sometimes aware that I am dreaming and telling myself that I had this dream already and can we go right this time please instead of left 🙄. Also it switches between my native language and English depending on where I am and what I am doing.

That's lucid dreaming. I do that a lot. But no internal monologue awake or asleep!

@MsFogi

OMG!!! This thread is mind blowing - I had no idea others did not have a party going on in their head all day every day. It must be so quiet not to have a constant stream of chat going on in your head? I particularly like it when I have the house to myself so can actually have the chat out loud at the same time as in my head. I wonder if there is any correlation with being an extrovert/introvert and being happy in your own company. I think I would be find alone for a very long time no problem because I can easily fill the lack of company with my own internal chat. I wonder if those without an internal monologue would find being alone for any length of time more difficult? I also wonder if upbringing has an impact on whether or not people have an internal monologue eg are those who were left to their own devices in childhood more likely to have an internal monologue compared to those whose parents were much more present/hands on?

Wrong on both counts here! No internal monologue, neglectful childhood and I'm very introverted and love to spend time alone. The reason that's enjoyable is because it is quiet and peaceful.

@OlympicProcrastinator

How do you think about more complex stuff? - or do you switch over then

Whereas I cannot understand how you can get to grips with complex concepts if you have to put it all in to words. I can think about multiple, overlapping concepts but I’d have to slow it down and simplify them if I had to put it all into a stream of words and my understanding would be limited to the amount of words I could attach to it.

I agree with this 100%, thanks for putting it so clearly!

@lazylinguist

Btw belated apologies for being a bit snippy earlier, *@HalcyonSea* . I've only just come back to the thread. I still don't agree about the limitations of language, but we'll have to agree to differ!

As a linguist I find it fascinating to think about how people's thought processes might work in different languages - either differences between the thought processes of native speakers of different languages, or people who are fluent enough to think in more than one.

I speak 3 foreign languages comfortably. My fluency levels have varied a lot over the years depending on how much I've been using each of them though. I feel a bit like I put a very slightly different personality on in each language, and I definitely think it affects how I think about stuff. I quite often talk to myself in my head in my other languages, but that's more conscious and deliberate than my normal inner monologue in English.

No worries - it was late at night I think and I appreciate my post may have come across badly (limitations of language ).

That is so interesting, what you wrote. Within my immediate family we have 4 different native languages. I do think the different concepts but also structure of language itself and normal mannerisms and etiquette in that language effect how thoughts are expressed, how people seem to others. Does that really mean the thoughts underlying them are different though? I'd never thought about it before but presumably there is an interplay, so if you express your thoughts in X language and the replies are in the style and concepts expressible in X language, that will impact what you think next and how you react when you retranslate those words into thoughts in your head. It really is fascinating.

@adrianmolesmole

Looking at these posts I think we perhaps need to define 'inner monologue'.. to some it seems to be a form of narrating your life to yourself, thinking aloud perhaps as you go about your day? To others it's taking place of a conversation in your head.. with yourself or an imaginary other? (I know I do the latter, not so much the former, an 'inner dialogue' you could say as someone said above.)

And to others it's daydreaming/maladaptive daydreams. I think this is different to having an 'inner monologue' as such, as it seems to take place as fantasies/storylines etc. Seems some PPs have one or the other, or both? Are they all different?

For me its both. I daydream to drown out the inner monologue.

What?! People have little voices in their head talking to them? Blimey, not sure I could cope with that. A PP asked if people who don't read words in their head, I don't. I kind of just look at a sentence and it transposes into my brain. I read really fast, people often comment on it, maybe it is linked.

That’s me and it’s got much worse over the years. I too assumed everyone did that and it’s only in my mid 40s asking my OH that I realise it’s not a common behaviour.

It’s now moved to having full conversations that I anticipate. It’s not anxiety, many of these are pleasant conversations. I have discussions in my mind all the time, non stop. When it’s not conversations, I’m planning, analysing, assessing. And even when I stop all this, I’ll have songs in my head. I now suffer from tinnitus too.

This used to be comfort behaviour. I feel the need to be in control. Letting go and relaxing is scary. It paid off. I achieved things I wouldn’t have otherwise, I grow up to have excellent resilience skills, and am one of those often told ‘I don’t know how you do it’.

Then the menopause hit and suddenly it’s caused me only harm. I don’t need to have such control over my life, but it’s set in me and I can’t seem to undo the habit. It’s now caused me insomnia as my brain keeps going at night unconsciously. What I thought was a strength is now proving to be a weakness.

I have now stated mindfulness and it is discovering a complete different way of being. I like it but it’s so hard to break the habit. It’s going to take time. I wish I’d learnt to let go sooner.

I have another question! Those in both camps, have you ever tried meditating and if so, what is the experience like for you?

@adrianmolesmole

Looking at these posts I think we perhaps need to define 'inner monologue'.. to some it seems to be a form of narrating your life to yourself, thinking aloud perhaps as you go about your day? To others it's taking place of a conversation in your head.. with yourself or an imaginary other? (I know I do the latter, not so much the former, an 'inner dialogue' you could say as someone said above.)

And to others it's daydreaming/maladaptive daydreams. I think this is different to having an 'inner monologue' as such, as it seems to take place as fantasies/storylines etc. Seems some PPs have one or the other, or both? Are they all different?

I do all three of these - not all the time though. I narrate my day sometimes if I am feeling anxious as it helps me to focus

Definitely do the other two to a large extent though

@Wherediditgo

I have another question! Those in both camps, have you ever tried meditating and if so, what is the experience like for you?

I find it impossible.