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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask: do you have an inner-monologue?

529 replies

allthatgrace · 03/05/2021 21:32

I don't have an inner-monologue and never realised that some people do. My thoughts are rapid, abstract and conceptual rather than verbal.

For example, if I am thinking that I'm hungry and want to start making dinner it takes the form of something like: concept of hunger+concept of dinner+concept of it being the evening/dinner time. After speaking to my family members they would have an inner-voice that actually says "I'm hungry, I think I'll go start dinner".

I have also always been confused about the idea of having an inner-critic that berates you. I've never heard an inner-voice say, for example, "nobody cares what you have to say, don't bother speaking, everything you say is stupid", instead I would just feel the sensation of shyness and wanting to stay quiet.

I can make myself have an inner-voice and I will use it occasionally, for example if I'm trying to remember a particular phrase or something but my default thinking is not an inner-monologue.

Which kind of thoughts do you have?

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 04/05/2021 21:44

I have a constant inner monologue which never stops and I bore myself constantly 🤷‍♀️

Thatswatshesaid · 04/05/2021 21:48

I have constant chatter. I also day dream a lot and occasionally obsessively and repetitively. I have some narratives that have been going all my adult life. I will cry or laugh out loud if I’m very Absorbed in a day dream.

Slippy78 · 04/05/2021 21:48

If you had to recall a route somewhere without these how would you do it?
I would think the words "go to the end of the road, turn left, down the hill"
I just think that I need to go to the end of the road, then turn left etc but I don't have any words or pictures in my head, just a non-verbal description.

MrDarcysMa · 04/05/2021 22:09

This sounds weird but I'm not sure - how do you know ? My brain never stops but I'm not sure if it's in actual words - when I try to think about it/ recall I'm not actually sure !

MrDarcysMa · 04/05/2021 22:09

I need to catch myself off guard !!!

Namechange600 · 04/05/2021 22:15

@ofwarren you described my inner workings too! I also can play music back in my head, note perfect, especially classical music that I have played but also other music I love . Like my own private radio show 😂

When I write I am translating my thoughts into words, I don’t think in words.

LibertyMole · 04/05/2021 22:20

‘If you had to recall a route somewhere without these how would you do it?
I would think the words "go to the end of the road, turn left, down the hill"’

Part of it is my body can just feel the movements I would have to make to get there.

Earlier when I was typing an email, I realised that I don’t even think about the words in the email. I have an idea and my hands move and words that relate to the idea just appear. I don’t think of the individual words when typing anymore than I think flex wrist, unbend knuckle etc to type.

GenuineViolet · 04/05/2021 22:21

If you don't have words or visions how do you actually think?!

I just think it but I don't think it in words. I can clearly visualise it too so could describe it to another person. I hadn't noticed anyone saying they can't visualise things alongside not having an inner monologue?

Miseryl · 04/05/2021 22:23

Yes I do. I think in words, if that makes sense. I'm quite a wordy/verbal person. I don't always say a lot but I am always analysing/speaking in my head.

Slippy78 · 04/05/2021 22:25

I hadn't noticed anyone saying they can't visualise things alongside not having an inner monologue?

That would be me.

ClarkeGriffin · 04/05/2021 22:27

@Hohofortherobbers

Yes, my thoughts are like chatter in my head, I often find myself moving my lips in time with it and pulling expressions, my dm catches me out sometimes and pulls me up on it, I expect I look a little deranged when I do it
I do this too! It's getting out of control recently, I think lockdown has made my insanity worse. Grin
GenuineViolet · 04/05/2021 22:28

I'm not sure - how do you know ? My brain never stops but I'm not sure if it's in actual words -

My brain is always busy thinking something - but I'm sure it's not in words. If I see a dirty cup I don't think the words "dirty cup". I just observe that it is there. I don't discuss it with myself. I put it in the dishwasher without thinking any words. My thoughts are not in words. So hard to describe!

ClarkeGriffin · 04/05/2021 22:29

[quote Namechange600]@ofwarren you described my inner workings too! I also can play music back in my head, note perfect, especially classical music that I have played but also other music I love . Like my own private radio show 😂

When I write I am translating my thoughts into words, I don’t think in words.[/quote]
I do that with films. Play back films in my head, problem is if it's a funny one I start laughing and then get questions on why I'm laughing. Blush

GenuineViolet · 04/05/2021 22:32

I don’t think of the individual words when typing anymore than I think flex wrist, unbend knuckle etc to type

That's a very good description. Spot on.

GenuineViolet · 04/05/2021 22:36

That would be me

Apologies. There's a lot to take in, in this thread. It's making my brain hurt.

optimistic40 · 04/05/2021 22:39

Mix of both here. Often a full monologue, but also disjointed words / pictures / feelings too.

feelinggeriatric · 04/05/2021 22:41

My daughter told me recently that not everyone had a an inner monologue and it's blown my mind ever since.

Constant chatting in my head. I can't imagine not having that at all.

optimistic40 · 04/05/2021 22:43

Mine isn't critical though. Sure I have some doubts about myself but there's no voice telling me I'm crap!

PitchImperfect · 04/05/2021 23:26

My inner monologue rarely talks to me, it's more like I'm imagining a conversation. So, when I'm feeling insecure there's not a little voice saying "you can't do that, you're rubbish, no-one likes you", it more me explaining to someone else "I can't do that, I'm rubbish at it & no-one will want me around anyway."

I really struggle with maladaptive daydreaming & spend a large amount of my time imagining, in great detail, how I wish various things had happened 20 years ago, or fantasising about possible future events, or planning exactly what to say in an imminent conversation which is never what I actually say but makes me feel more in control if I have a plan.

One of my most common inner-monologues involves conversations with a counsellor/psychologist, trying to explain to them exactly how I experience things & why I am the way I am. I've never actually been to a psychologist but it's almost like I'm my own therapist... To a point, anyway. From what my friend has said about her experience with a therapist, there was quite a bit of digging into her past & figuring out why she behaves in certain ways before they got on to how she can move forward in a healthier way. My inner-therapy sessions never get passed the "explaining/understanding" phase... Maybe if I actually had some of these conversations out loud with a real, trained person I might actually be able to move forward!

RowanAlong · 04/05/2021 23:30

OP, HalcyonSea, and all,

Finding this so interesting. I do think in words, as in, I hear my thoughts, and it’s my voice doing the thinking, projecting, describing, analysing, remembering.

But no, I could never actually translate that ‘stream of consciousness’ into words for anyone else. It’s not linear, it’s a dense web, and in mixed media - so images, sounds, emotions. Processed by me in words. Obviously artists have tried - maybe Virginia Woolf came close, but you’re right a personal stream of consciousness is essentially wholly incommunicable to anyone else, especially not in one medium.

Also, it’s definitely not constant ‘chatter’ as in a conversational voice, at all. It’s just me, using my voice inside my head to think, rather than outwardly talking.

HalcyonSea · 04/05/2021 23:51

@GenuineViolet

I don’t think of the individual words when typing anymore than I think flex wrist, unbend knuckle etc to type

That's a very good description. Spot on.

Yes. Like when driving you don't think "press clutch, change gear, release clutch", you just do it. Thoughts just translate into the appropriate language or movement (as best they can) on their own with no conscious involvement, very much like a reflex. Similar to playing a musical instrument also.
HalcyonSea · 04/05/2021 23:53

@RowanAlong

OP, HalcyonSea, and all,

Finding this so interesting. I do think in words, as in, I hear my thoughts, and it’s my voice doing the thinking, projecting, describing, analysing, remembering.

But no, I could never actually translate that ‘stream of consciousness’ into words for anyone else. It’s not linear, it’s a dense web, and in mixed media - so images, sounds, emotions. Processed by me in words. Obviously artists have tried - maybe Virginia Woolf came close, but you’re right a personal stream of consciousness is essentially wholly incommunicable to anyone else, especially not in one medium.

Also, it’s definitely not constant ‘chatter’ as in a conversational voice, at all. It’s just me, using my voice inside my head to think, rather than outwardly talking.

That's very interesting. Maybe halfway in between what I described and what many posters with this internal monologue have described.

I still just cannot imagine hearing my own voice in my head!

HalcyonSea · 04/05/2021 23:57

I thought thoughts were Words ?

Do you really think this? Confused

RowanAlong · 05/05/2021 00:10

It’s not like hearing your own voice on an answerphone. You’re not separate from it. Hard to describe. Thinking in ‘my words’ is closer maybe. Maybe ‘voice’ is the wrong word as it’s too separate from the body somehow?

HalcyonSea · 05/05/2021 00:10

So somebody non-verbal has no thoughts? Babies have no thoughts? Animals?

I'm really baffled by that comment. Surely it's obvious that language is a medium for expressing thoughts and that thoughts and language can't possibly be the same thing? One is a biological mechanism that is experienced as consciousness and sensory analysis and the other is a human constructed framework of language through shared reference points in sound/ characters: how could they be the same? Genuinely really interested to hear how you came to that conclusion @RubyWooRed, can you explain what you mean?