Your baby's name is 'so weird' ...?

[brandnewcoffee]

Due with our baby girl in just a few weeks. It took us a long time to pick a name that will flow nicely with the middle name as well as the surname and a name we both love equally. My nan texted me this morning and ask if we've picked a name yet so I told her that we have and told her the name we chose is Esmé. Her response was simply 'such a weird name'. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm gobsmacked and don't know what to say back. I know it doesn't matter what others think about the name we chose for our baby girl but it really got me doubting myself and now I'm sat here worrying whether we picked the right name. AIBU?

It's a fab name.

@sapnupuas

I thought this was going to be about Thanksgiving.

Esme is lovely. Your nan is weird.

Why are you mocking a mother who sadly had a stillborn baby and wanted to express their gratitude with having another child?

@firstimemamma

Show your nan the thread about calling a child 'thanksgiving' - that'll blow her mind

Your comment is really unkind. Shame on you for mocking the OP from that thread.

It’s on my list, ironically what puts me off it a little is how popular / mainstream it is! For context my name was very very unusual when l was a child and l wouldn’t like my child being Esme M for example. Your nan is rude with poor manners saying that. Is she always like this?

Gran was probably hoping for a traditional name. Just remember she chose her own children's names. You get to choose your children's names. Tis the way of life. Do you think she was hoping you would name middle name after her? Me thinks if this happened she would suddenly love the name.

The only Esme I know is nearly 100.

@Warrickdaviesasplates

DH's nan is like that, we can be rude to her because she's older than us so should be respected and never questioned or challenged. She can't possibly be rude to us though as we are just "the children" so she can say whatever she likes and we can't be upset.

This in spades. ^

I am sick to fucking DEATH of people saying people should automatically respect people one or two generations older, by default, because they are older. Such bullshit. You EARN respect from me, you don't get it because you've been on the planet for 30 years longer than me!

Obviously many older people are nice, but some are quite obnoxious and rude, with no filter. What's worse is that people sometimes make allowances for them, because they're older. I even know a few older people who are blatantly racist and homophobic, and people 'let it go' because ya know, it's a generational thing.

Fuck right off.

And I am NOT being ageist by the way (before anyone says anything!) We should be allowed to critisize older people, without being accused of ageism.

1,138 babies born in England and Wales in 2019 were named Esme. 1,234 the year before that. 1,235 the year before that ...

My only association with the name is the JD Salinger short story “For Esme with love and squalor”. You should read it! (Everyone should read it!)

Also, drop the accent. Trust me, it will drive her crazy her whole life, and for the English version is totally unnecessary.

Maybe she means, unusual....
It isn't but perhaps it is in her generation.

She wouldn't have liked 'Thanksgiving'!

She's an older lady who wouldn't be familar with the name. You can't expect everyone to love the name you choose unfortunately. I'd just laugh it off as her being a bit rude but harmlessly so, and tell her it's a top 50 name these days and you wanted something popular that people will recognise and that everyone else likes it! That won't be what she's expecting to hear!

My parents criticised our choice of name for our firstborn son while I was pregnant, saying at least we've given him a normal middle name so he can go by that in the future. (Like it's a done deal!) Our son's name is a bit old fashioned but is a 100% real name, not remotely outlandish, and no one else has felt the need to be horrid about it. I mean, we didn't ask for their opinion. We said: this is the name.

Ignore her. (Do give some serious thought to whether you want a name with an accent which everyone will get wrong, vs the same name without the accent. But it's your choice! Both are fine!)

It sucks. Upshot is, every time I hear my mum say my son's name, I think about how much she hated the name. Well, fuck her. She got her chance to name her own kids. Just means she got further downgraded in the "people whose opinions I care about" list.

But I would never share a name I wasn't completely committed to. We like to name our children in the womb, but won't say until we're absolutely certain it'll be The Name.

Given the context of the poster asking for opinions on 'Thanksgiving', I find some of the comments referring to that name at best distasteful, at worst nasty and downright cruel

My nephew, born circa 1975, was named Virgil by his Dad, after Sidney Poitiers character in 'the heat of the night'.

I have never, in all these years, met another Virgil, and I still think it's a god awful name..sorry

Esme is one of the most beautiful names!

Her response was very uncalled for.

Hold your head high @brandnewcoffee! You have so much to look forward to!

"Such a weird response"

Is what I would reply with...

My nephew has a very unusual name that begins with J.

Neither my nans could say it. One said "I'm just going to call him John" !!! Absolutely nothing to do with his actual name!

Please text this back: 'Oh thank you, we weren't sure is Esme was right for baby so will go for our second choice name 'Frobscottle' Frobie for short.'

Text her back and say thanks to her feedback you've changed it to Balonz.

Balonz-Frobscottle. It's got a ring about it for sure.

@lioncitygirl

It’s not weird - it’s just not ‘traditional’.

I would say it was quite old-fashioned (like Martha or Violet) Definitely not weird

Lovely name. I think she's been living under a rock sorry.

@RockingMyFiftiesNot

Given the context of the poster asking for opinions on 'Thanksgiving', I find some of the comments referring to that name at best distasteful, at worst nasty and downright cruel

It's absolutely vile behaviour.

@brandnewcoffee

Ah, thanks all. That makes me feel so much better! I don't see us changing it at all but it did upset me. Oh well, at least I know not to share the baby's name before birth next time

This is exactly what we did.

DD1 my grandmother kept telling me she liked a different name (that started the same). "Well we like...." etc throughout the whole pregnancy.

We didn't tell her with DC2. Made like much easier.

Also, for what it's worth (as a random internet stranger) I think Esme is a lovely name.