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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Josh Duggar arrested again for having indecent images of children. AIBU in wondering how the hell a man with his history was allowed to remain in the home with his babies?

108 replies

MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 30/04/2021 21:01

For anyone who doesn't know who he is Google is up there ^

I don't even watch the programme but I've been following his case (( well cases)) and I'm astounded by the fact that a man's right to have access to his children seems to come above a child's right to be kept safe from harm. Is this the norm in the states whereby someone with a history like his can remain in the home? 🤔

OP posts:
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5
GameSetMatch · 01/05/2021 08:24

His poor wife can’t leave, who will house her and help her with money now? She can’t exactly work being pregnant having, seven kids and no decent school qualifications. She has no choice....

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/05/2021 08:27

His poor wife can’t leave, who will house her and help her with money now? She can’t exactly work being pregnant having, seven kids and no decent school qualifications. She has no choice

The lack of education and opportunity provided is nothing short of abusive imo. In any other situations it would be recognised as such but somehow because religion is involved its all OK.

YouWerePrettyIWasLonely · 01/05/2021 08:37

The women are groomed from very young to be nothing more than obedient wives. Little education, very restricted lifestyle, no opportunity for qualifications, stunted development. The cameras rolled while these girls and women are manipulated and abused. If they didn't get the audience the show would've ended years ago.

Neonprint · 01/05/2021 08:41

I'm stealing this...

For anyone who doesn't know who he is Google is up there ^

He's the one with loads of kids (my knowledge without a Google) but yeah anyone who has been arrested for this shouldn't be allowed unsupervised contact while still under suspicion. I know this is potentially harsh for those who are innocent. But the damage which could be caused by allowing him in the home means police should be cautious.

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/05/2021 08:42

Yes I think tv guidelines should become more rigid in regards to what's deemed exploitation. And in abusive situations it shouldn't matter what other protected characteristics a family has. It doesn't change anything

Porcupineintherough · 01/05/2021 09:01

His wife should leave...

And go where? And do what? And support her children how?

This is the US. Not very keen on welfare support and social housing. She'd be better off divorcing the s.o.b but - religion. Evangelical Christianity is full of hypocrisy (and very patriarchal). They probably tell her if she was a better wife then he wouldnt be tempted. Angry

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/05/2021 09:03

Didn't she claim responsibility once already when the Ashley madison thing came out.

MrsGulDukat · 01/05/2021 09:09

It's a Fed case and feds dont fuck about. They must have a strong case against him.

Let's hope he gets the full 20 years.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/05/2021 09:11

Vile, just vile. And mummy and daddy knew it had been happening for decades. His poor victims being coerced into forgiveness.

The whole premise of the sex thing seems to be that women and girls are temptation and forbidden fruit. Males being the procreator, masters and unable to resist.

Original poster
MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 01/05/2021 09:13

LimeCoconut I was fully aware of that.

But he was first arrested back in 2019. So this man who is obviously a paedophile has been living freely with his own children and doing god knows what for the last two years..... Talk about closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. Hmm

OP posts:
uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 01/05/2021 09:22

This is the part that I don't understand...his business was raided in 2019 and reports suggest that was when the images/videos were found. So why the hell has it taken until now for him to be charged and protection for the children put in place?

Candleabra · 01/05/2021 09:28

God I remember following this when it came out about him abusing his sisters. It was all brushed under the carpet then, and the girls were encouraged (forced) to forgive him. I think he and Anna had four kids then. I didn't know they up to seven now. No life for a woman. Makes me so angry and all wrapped up in Christian values. The family (men) are so smug I could punch them. They're just above the law and so protected.

JingsMahBucket · 01/05/2021 09:53

@uhtredsonofuhtred1

This is the part that I don't understand...his business was raided in 2019 and reports suggest that was when the images/videos were found. So why the hell has it taken until now for him to be charged and protection for the children put in place?
He’s friends with Ted Cruz and all those other jokers. His mother was doing political robocalls back in 2015 for anti-trans bathroom bills/legislation knowing full well her straight son had molested her daughters and a niece. He’s likely been protected by Trump people within the justice department (Bill Barr) until Biden’s people moved in three months ago. See also: Matt Gaetz. This is the real shit those idiot QAnon and anti-trans types keep flapping their gums about but I bet they’re pretty fucking silent now.
pollylocketpickedapocket · 01/05/2021 10:15

@speakout

This poor woman is brainwashed - she should have left long ago.
Didn’t think it would take long till someone defended her. She’s an enabler and a cunt, she’s worse than him
Whatwouldscullydo · 01/05/2021 10:30

Didn’t think it would take long till someone defended her. She’s an enabler and a cunt, she’s worse than him

What do you expect someone who's pregnant with 6 other kids who's family akd community could quite possibly disown her if she divorced or kicked him out and there's no system to help her out.

We have no idea what's gone on at home she could well he an.abuse victim Infact didnt one if the Ashley madison women claim.he was really rough etc.

Where is she supoosed to go?

MrsGulDukat · 01/05/2021 10:34

She had a brother willing to support her and the 4 kids she had at the time of the molestation scandal in 2015.

She had at least one out back then, instead she popped more babies.

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/05/2021 10:37

You do know how grooming and abuse works right ?

If it was that simple to just up and leave it would never happen to anyone would it.

Truth is we actually have no idea what went on behind closed doors, what her involvement is or isn't.

Let's face it a single mum.of even 4 kids with no earning capacity , well its nice gesture that the brother said he'd step up but realistically how long would that have been able to go on for ?

Wattleanddaub · 01/05/2021 10:39

@Whatwouldscullydo

Didn’t think it would take long till someone defended her. She’s an enabler and a cunt, she’s worse than him

What do you expect someone who's pregnant with 6 other kids who's family akd community could quite possibly disown her if she divorced or kicked him out and there's no system to help her out.

We have no idea what's gone on at home she could well he an.abuse victim Infact didnt one if the Ashley madison women claim.he was really rough etc.

Where is she supoosed to go?

Anna Duggar has 3 siblings who have left fundamentalism, including a sister who is married to an oil millionaire and who owns a private jet. She wouldn't be out on the street with 6 (soon to be 7) children if she divorced Josh.
MadisonMontgomery · 01/05/2021 10:41

It’s awful. I actually feel so sorry for his wife, I used to watch the show and I don’t believe she would have felt she had any option but to stay with him. What on earth is she going to do now, 7 children and no real education, let alone any kind of job.

Whatwouldscullydo · 01/05/2021 10:42

Well let's hope she can.

I think there's alot we probably don't know. And I dread to think.what the mental state of all.of them.is tbh.

I dont know why they were ever given a TV show

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 01/05/2021 10:45

Didn’t think it would take long till someone defended her. She’s an enabler and a cunt, she’s worse than him
WTF she had nothing to do with his early crimes and is under huge pressure to forgive him and be understanding. There is no proof or allegations that he has abused his own children although he has child pornography which is terrible, but I can believe she didn't know and hoped he had changed. After all she has led a very sheltered life and constantly surrounded by people assuring her that change is possible with the love of Jesus and a good wife.

Moonwhite · 01/05/2021 10:47

Their whole family are enablers. But yeah, let's abuse the women who are consistently told they are sinful and lower than men practically from birth. I guess their male family members just aren't abusing them enough...

His wife can't be anything but an enabler, it's what she raised to be. Same for his sisters. They are probably all victims of him one way or another. It's an extremely fucked up extremely misogynistic dynamic.

If God is going to welcome the male Duggars into heaven, the rest of us would be safer in hell.

Original poster
MobyDicksTinyCanoe · 01/05/2021 11:07

Gluten she has.
But she also has a pretty high media presence and is in contact with other family members who left the cult. She put her children at risk to protect a man.. I can't hold her in any, high regard or have much in the way of sympathy. This isnt the 1950s and she isn't that naive.

OP posts:
3scape · 01/05/2021 11:11

His family were quite prepared to throw his own sister's under the proverbial bus to avoid him getting punished for his crimes, girls it any wonder he can't and won't change. He feels entitled to his perversion and crimes. I dread to think what he has brought up his children to think is normal.

aprilshowers2015 · 01/05/2021 13:30

He's surrounded by enablers and has never had to face consequences for his actions.
Anna will have no choice but to stick by him or risk being totally abandoned and shunned. I'm alternating between pity and anger towards her. I just hope she's getting some support

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