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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get why people refuse to exercise?

544 replies

JumpingJacky · 30/04/2021 16:21

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

OP posts:
motherloaded · 30/04/2021 18:19

@LimeCoconut

I get that this is a pure goad but to anyone else who finds themselves thinking along the lines of the OP: you really have no idea what it’s like to live in chronic unremitting pain until you do. Just trying to get through a normal day is hard enough at times, let alone deliberately moving your body in ways that hurt. The consequences of doing that can last for days.
People can't really imagine how bad it must be, but they can still sympathise.

The great majority of people do not have chronic pain or very genuine medical condition though. It's pure laziness and worst, much worst, bad parenting when there are kids involved.

OrchidLass · 30/04/2021 18:19

@Cinnamon12345

Exercise is great fun, I struggle to understand why more people don’t do it.
I find this kind of comment so strange. Why on earth would you 'struggle' to understand who more people don't exercise simply because you've declared that it's great fun? You enjoy it so it's great fun for you, but do you genuinely 'struggle' to understand why that's not the case for everyone?

I love to exercise, it makes me feel better emotionally, physically and mentally but I'm perfectly aware that that is not the case for everyone. It's not really hard to understand that, surely.

PinkArt · 30/04/2021 18:20

Because they don't want to. HTH.

whiteroseredrose · 30/04/2021 18:20

Well done you for your transformation.

People don't exercise for many reasons, generally because they don't like it!

Exercise makes me really angry. I want to smash things and punch people. Best not!

Neonprint · 30/04/2021 18:20

You sound really smug. Enjoy exercise. But don't fucking bang on about it to people. How borinh and embarrassing.

Also I don't belive for fucking second you don't understand why people don't exercise.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 30/04/2021 18:21

JumpingJacky
Well when I say evangelical it’s more that I was extremely overweight (over 18 stone). found it hard to move, was in extreme pain, had health issues (now resolved by exercise), bad MH and ‘no time’ so exercising was the last thing I wanted to do but when I finally decided to try it after much nagging from DH I was astounded by how much better I felt within just a few weeks. So I kind of think I am entitled to preach seeing as I’ve been there myself.

You're not you know. How would you have responded to somebody querying as to how you'd managed to get yourself to 18 stones without doing something about it before then? Would you have welcomed that little prompt?

You don't have the right but you do come across as somebody who has seen the light and finally done something about it. Be proud of your achievement - and leave off telling other people what they should be doing lest they pontificate at you because they never had a weight problem.

My weight goes up and down, not by a huge amount but I wouldn't welcome a lecture and nor would I give one. I swim for two hours a day and love doing that. I'd extoll how much I love it and why if asked... if not, I'd shut up.

m0therofdragons · 30/04/2021 18:21

If people did stuff to be healthy no one would smoke or drink. I’m a big advocate of park run and couch to 5k and people would describe me as a runner but 2.5 years ago I’d not run other than school pe. It’s daunting to many people and my first year of running I spent the first 10 minutes of every run with my head telling me I couldn’t do it, even when I’d run a half marathon!

lazylinguist · 30/04/2021 18:21

Well when I say evangelical it’s more that I was extremely overweight (over 18 stone). found it hard to move, was in extreme pain, had health issues (now resolved by exercise), bad MH and ‘no time’ so exercising was the last thing I wanted to do but when I finally decided to try it after much nagging from DH I was astounded by how much better I felt within just a few weeks. So I kind of think I am entitled to preach seeing as I’ve been there myself.

So it's pretty daft and hypocritical of you to say that you don't understand why people don't exercise then, because you literally were that person! So how do you not understand? People don't exercise, because they hate it or because the long-term benefits fail to trump the short-term enjoyment of sitting on their arses or doing other stuff. It's not hard to understand, surely! You might just as well say "I don't understand why people overeat/eat unhealthy things. You do understand really, you just think that because you've had your lightbulb moment, everyone else should automatically have one too!

motherloaded · 30/04/2021 18:21

I love to exercise, it makes me feel better emotionally, physically and mentally but I'm perfectly aware that that is not the case for everyone. It's not really hard to understand that, surely.

actually, for most people it is better for their physical and mental health. We are not designed to do nothing, that's the point.

It doesn't mean you must run a marathon to be healthy! The choice of "exercise" is pretty limitless.

Spodge · 30/04/2021 18:22

I have fallen in love with exercise but I totally get why people don't do it. I was one of those for decades.

itsgettingwierd · 30/04/2021 18:23

I had someone tell me the GP told them to lose weight to help their chronic knee pain. She said why do GP's always blame weight?

I (very carefully!) asked what she thought the solution was (she wanted surgery but she did t know she needed it just wanted referral to see if it was an option)

I asked if she thought surgery alone would cure it?

The answer was yes!

Now I know it's a bit chicken and egg because it's hard to exercise with knee pain etc but I am worried about how we don't face obesity openly in this country. Especially now after our obesity epidemic has proven to make a public health crisis even worse.

Now I'm overweight. I had a BMI of 31 a few months ago. I also have severe gynae issues that make losing wight very difficult. But I knew as my knees and hips started to hurt more I needed to do something.

1.5 stone loss later they hurt a hell of a lot less - and now I'm doing some gentle exercise.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 30/04/2021 18:23

All these posters who 'struggle to understand'. Should there be some sort of helpline for you? Some sort of evening class to help you wrap your little minds around these conundrums that are so vexing to you?

lazylinguist · 30/04/2021 18:24

Also there are plenty of people who don't really do exercise but are not overweight or suffering from chronic pain etc. I'm not saying exercise isn't brilliant- it is. But it's ridiculous to claim not to understand why people don't do it!

SelkieIntegrated · 30/04/2021 18:24

One last ps, my obsession with exercising definitely stalled my personal growth. I've learnt since that that's very common. ONly since I gave up the daily jillian michaels workouts and allowed myself to do yoga 3 times a week have I really learnt to be more self -accepting, kinder to myself, trust in myself to be strong enough and wise enough in a crisis to be brave enough to take small risks (when appropriate), now I see patterns in how I've handled things in the past and i can respond later in stead of reacting! I see various unhealthy dynamics as they are...... I accept them. I feel I've made a lot of progress personally since I gave up exercising so obsessively.
So if I had my forties back, I'd honestly exercise less and still myself and slow down and think about self-care in a different way. It's not just body body body. It's also your mind.

coodawoodashooda · 30/04/2021 18:24

I can see your point but...

wherestheweightlosspill · 30/04/2021 18:25

I don't make excuses why I can't, I just don't want to. And isn't that my own business? What's it got to do with you? Just because you saw a dramatic impact on your life/mh etc doesn't mean it's the same for everyone. I've had periods where I've exercised consistently (gym 3 times a week, an hour/hour and a half at a time for maybe 6 months) and never enjoyed it, never particularly saw any difference in my mental or physical health (not particularly overweight though) and over time I really couldn't be bothered any more. We're not all the same. I never actually HATED it (apart from Spin which is literally horrific, like a form of torture), I just found it utterly boring and pointless.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 30/04/2021 18:25

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

All these posters who 'struggle to understand'. Should there be some sort of helpline for you? Some sort of evening class to help you wrap your little minds around these conundrums that are so vexing to you?
Yeah, they understand perfectly well. Just use that as a pretext to slag other people off rather than minding their own business.
Tulipomania · 30/04/2021 18:26

It's like saying you don't understand why people overeat, when they know it's not good for them.

or drink alcohol...

I'll tell you why OP. It's because people are human and fallible.

Now get off your high horse and fuck off to the gym where you belong with the rest of your sanctimonious buddies.

Dustinto · 30/04/2021 18:26

YANBU as they are moaning to you about their problems and you’re offering a solution.
Lots of people are lazy, hence the average UK dress size.

Wearywithteens · 30/04/2021 18:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

MintyMabel · 30/04/2021 18:27

was extremely overweight (over 18 stone)

Presumably you had plenty of reasons not to exercise when you were that weight.

Presumably you can understand others will too.

Presumably you realise no two people are the same and nobody needs your judgment.

But two posts in 8 pages, you’re not here to understand anything.

speakout · 30/04/2021 18:27

OP your problem is not other people- it is your inability to understand.

Northernparent68 · 30/04/2021 18:27

The people I know who do n’t exercise were put off exercise at school by PE teachers.

GreyhoundG1rl · 30/04/2021 18:27

@Dustinto

YANBU as they are moaning to you about their problems and you’re offering a solution. Lots of people are lazy, hence the average UK dress size.
They must be a bit simple then, that they can't work out this screamingly obvious "solution" for themselves.
motherloaded · 30/04/2021 18:30

I understand perfectly. It's just laziness, that was my point and original post.