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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get why people refuse to exercise?

544 replies

JumpingJacky · 30/04/2021 16:21

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

OP posts:
BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 30/04/2021 22:32

I think it's great you turned your life around health wise but they may well think similar things about you when you talk about money/relationships/work issues/something else ... "Why doesn't she just download You Need a Budget?" "She keeps moaning but doesn't actually apply to other jobs" or are you perfect in every way?

I love CrossFit, minimalism and all sorts of other things I wish I could talk about all day but it just makes you very boring to other people! Your secret to happiness might not necessarily be everyone's.

Wtfdidwedo · 30/04/2021 22:33

I do about 2000 steps on an office day. The kettle and toilets are close to my desk.

CirqueDeMorgue · 30/04/2021 22:33

I think a lot of people with no experience of exercising 'for the sake of it,' at the gym or whatever, find the idea really daunting. I did before I 'discovered' exercise.

maddiemookins16mum · 30/04/2021 22:41

It hurts. There, does that answer your question. You do what you want/like, I’ll do my miserly 6k steps a day and slob on the sofa all evening.

YesPleaseMary · 30/04/2021 22:42

Ugh, are you my old PE teacher?

dotdashdashdash · 30/04/2021 22:42

DentistLakes do you realise some people don't feel better when they regularly exercise? As someone who does regularly exercise I can confirm that I feel utterly shit for it and really wonder why I bother.

Olidocky · 30/04/2021 22:44

@dotdashdashdash

I only know as I do 40 lengths as a cool down after my 2 hour gym session which I cycle there and back to

Where the hell do you get 3+ hours a day to exercise? Do you not work? Do you not have kids? And don't say you just get up early. I'm up at 5.30am. I am either working or looking after children up gone 9pm. For me to spend 3 hours exercising I'd have to only sleep for 4 hours per night, which is definitely not enough for anyone to be healthy.

This is me. When the hell does any working parent get 3 hours in a day to exercise? I'm up at 530 with the kids. I finish work between 7 and 8. Love a TV dinner with the husband when I get home then in bed usually before 10. Friday night I like to go wild and stay up until at least 11! We're fairly active as a family at the weekend but fuck me I wouldn't be preaching to anyone in my personal life about their exercise choices. In my professional life it's part of my job to promote good health but I'd have been booted out long ago if I'd taken the approach you have op. People and their lives are complex. And you never fully know a person or their challenges. Empathy and understanding are always better than judgement or preaching.
TheVampiresWife · 30/04/2021 22:45

I'm a size 18. I used to be a size 10, before I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I can't exercise.

Yabu.

nanbread · 30/04/2021 22:50

I personally think it's mostly because we are habitual creatures and we get into the habit of not exercising.

It's then hard to build that habit.

Having said that time is also a factor. You cycle to the gym, do a 2 hour workout then 40 lengths? That would take me about 4 hours. Then factor in getting changed etc at home realistically it's more. I don't have that sort of time!

I DO have time to do about 3 x 30 min exercise a week plus a fair bit of walking though so that is my goal, but I can't justify the gym for that little and so I don't have access to things like weight machines which would help with my physical issues.

Regularsizedrudy · 30/04/2021 22:55

To annoy insufferable twats

CirqueDeMorgue · 30/04/2021 23:37

I'm under the impression that even if you don't exercise, you can maintain a healthy weight by eating well though...

Carpet0fTruth474 · 01/05/2021 00:29

12 hour shifts
Now that indoor gyms are open again, my colleague gets up at 5am to go to the gym

Madness !

Clydesider · 01/05/2021 00:33

You don't know that exercise will help that person. You sound like a religious zealot, trying to force your beliefs on others snd believing you can fix them. I'm surprised you haven't been told where to go, in no uncertain terms.

goose1964 · 01/05/2021 00:34

I walked into town twice yesterday, today I'm in agony. Tomorrow I'm going out with the family, including three under fives, I suspect that on Sunday I'll be hardly able to walk without feeling my bones grate. I'm trying to increase my activity gradually but it's easier said than done.

vodkaredbullgirl · 01/05/2021 01:39

I do 12 1/2 hr nights shifts and there is no way i'm going to a gym. Far too knackered after my shift and cba before a night shift.

OwlBeThere · 01/05/2021 01:42

The point of my OP was if you’re in pain and you know that there’s something that can help you, you can even see how it’s helped someone with your own eyes, why wouldn’t you try it instead of moaning about it

But you don’t KNOW that it will help them, @JumpingJacky that’s the point people are trying to get across to you. It helped you and that’s great for you, but for some it might not help, for others it might actively make things worse. Cant you see that if a person is struggling with self esteem that they might be afraid of the gym? I’d never step foot in one again after my experiences of being ridiculed even though I lost weight. I felt worse in every way, physically and mentally.

violetbunny · 01/05/2021 06:59

Ok, I'll bite.

I have been an exercise avoider most of my life. I'm actually quite slim and petite, but I am really not confident with anything involving physical activity. I never went to a gym for years because I just didn't even know where to start and thought I'd be doing it all wrong. I thought people would stare and think I was an idiot for not knowing. I also struggled to actually find time to exercise after work.

Then in my mid 30s I discovered Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I set myself a challenge to complete it. Despite being slim I was incredibly unfit, and I remember feeling like I was going to die that first week. I kept on at it and actually completed the 30 days. It was a revelation because I could do it all at home, so no one could see me. If I mucked up an exercise no one would know. Gradually I built up my confidence.

I also realised if I exercise first thing in the morning, it's much more likely to get done!

Now I use a fitness app and will exercise 6 times a week, plus doing a yin yoga class. I get itchy if I can't exercise every day. I'm totally converted!

deedeegee · 01/05/2021 08:09

I’m reading here that the common theme, is avoidance. Exercise does not actually mean just going to the gym; it means moving more and sitting less- in short, just walking works!
Of course, if there’s a medical reason not to, then that’s ok. But otherwise why wouldn’t you want to put your health first, especially if the quality of your life was going to be improved now and into old age?
‘Exercise’ is a habit to be developed and then practiced daily.

Mintjulia · 01/05/2021 08:24

deedeegee you're right. We need to stop thinking of exercise as class/gym/Lycra.

School PE made me so miserable, I still haven't been back to a Gym and never will. I'm mid fifties. But I run, I cycle with ds. I walk the dog. It all counts.

ZaraW · 01/05/2021 08:30

One of the main reasons I exercise is to be flexible and strong as I get older. As mentioned above that can be just moving. I cycle, walk, take the stairs at work instead of the lift. I do yoga for flexibility and balance. I want to enjoy my old age and exercise and a balanced diet will hopefully help.

Countrygirl2021 · 01/05/2021 08:34

It hurts. There, does that answer your question. You do what you want/like, I’ll do my miserly 6k steps a day and slob on the sofa all evening.

That's fine as long as you don't then expect taxpayers via the NHS to pay when you have joint problens/ back pain / obesity / type 2 diabetes.

Amboseli · 01/05/2021 08:35

If you enjoy it, do it, if you don't, don't.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/05/2021 08:40

Everyone around the word had PE. Many people had shitty teacher with horrible attitude and hated it.

That's like refusing to count how much money you can spend because your maths teacher was shit. Or refuse to use a map when lost because geography teacher was mean bastard😐

We need to stop thinking of exercise as class/gym/Lycra. Agreed. Also people need to stop automatically doing "I am healthy weight, I don't need to work out". It's not just about weight.

maddiemookins16mum · 01/05/2021 08:40

@Countrygirl2021

*It hurts. There, does that answer your question. You do what you want/like, I’ll do my miserly 6k steps a day and slob on the sofa all evening.*

That's fine as long as you don't then expect taxpayers via the NHS to pay when you have joint problens/ back pain / obesity / type 2 diabetes.

Errrr, I am a tax payer too actually. I’m overweight but not even close to obese thanks.
dotdashdashdash · 01/05/2021 08:47

@Countrygirl2021

*It hurts. There, does that answer your question. You do what you want/like, I’ll do my miserly 6k steps a day and slob on the sofa all evening.*

That's fine as long as you don't then expect taxpayers via the NHS to pay when you have joint problens/ back pain / obesity / type 2 diabetes.

There's no guarantee that exercise will prevent those things. A bad diet can't be out exercised. And certain activities (running and contact sport) increase risk of joint injuries and back problems.

Most people who exercise regularly do it because they either enjoy it or get some satisfaction from it. Not everyone enjoys it, not everyone can get endorphins from it - it's to do with your brain chemistry. And it's really, really hard to do something regularly that brings no discernible benefits. As I said earlier, I used to be a competitive cheerleader. I kept going because I had friends there, I happened to be good at it but I never enjoyed it.