To not get why people refuse to exercise?

[JumpingJacky]

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

Why do you have to do it at 5am?

I'm the reverse - I've always exercised and found it kept my stress levels in check but have a knee injury that prevents me from doing any of the forms I loved. My mental heth has definitely suffered. Sure, I've found other things, like meditation and walking, but nothing beats getting out for a run for me.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Why do you have to do it at 5am?

Before work, perhaps?

It's like the 5th thread that I read when I wondered if people like you are for real or just taking the piss? Honestly, is it REALLY that difficult to understand people are different? Where does it come from? Lack of perspective? Ignorance? Ego?

You’ve answered your own question! The reasons you previously “refused” to do it are probably the reason others are!!!!

It’s not really as cut and dried as your friend is overweight with sore knees and back etc

I am overweight, I also have painful swollen joints. I’ve got a dog I struggle to walk because of the pain. I also have Crohn’s disease and having a flare which affects my joints and back too, so on high dose steroids. I’m actually knackered and exercise makes me feel worse. So right now I’m doing what I can. I’ve got an under active thyroid too so when I’m not feeling terrible from crohns I’m a bit worn out. If I do too much exercise it robs me of energy for normally daily life. I do try but sometimes I feel like I can’t win. And then to have some ‘helpful’ person come and ‘tell’ me what I should be doing is a bit shitty.

I’m not lazy either, despite the crohns and thyroid I don’t stop from getting up to going to bed, I’m pretty active I just can’t put pressure on my already sore and painful joints by running or gym etc. Once they settle down I can hopefully do more, walk further etc. I’m 42 and I feel 102 tbh. My 67 year old mum is more active and fit than me just now.

Think about underlying health issues and insecurities before you spout your new ‘knowledge’ op. It’s not easy for some folk and all you’re doing is making them feel shittier than they do already

Honestly, is it REALLY that difficult to understand people are different?

that's not the point. It IS hard to understand why people who chose to limit their present and future, restrict their life and severely restrict their quality of life by sheer laziness.

I can understand someone who spends days laying in the sun on the beach, even if it's not really my thing.

I can't understand why you would chose to make yourself feel unwell and make your future very difficult. I don't care so much, but I find it sad.

I do judge parents who mess up their kids. Do whatever you want when you are concerned, but it's not right not to do the best you possibly can for your kids.

@JumpingJacky

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

YANBU OP but I'm not surprised you haven't found much support here. These threads always go the same way: howls of outrage from triggered couch potatoes and an impressive collection of obscure and elaborate excuses why people can't possibly take any form of exercise, ever.

Doesn't sound like you go bounding up to overweight/unfit-looking strangers in the street to shame and harangue them into signing up for boot camp; gently suggesting exercise to friends/family who complain of conditions that it might help is fair enough. Personally, I think there are many scenarios/conditions where the NHS should be formally prescribing exercise rather than medication - I believe there are already some trials of this approach under way.

Evangelism is grim OP. I'd try hard to keep it to yourself.

For years I didn't do any exercise because.....

• I was endlessly tired, commuting 2.5 hours a day plus lots of international travel.
• When I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep, then weekends were chores, see family and then off to Heathrow again.
• Exercise made me feel sick, miserable and ill.
• My friends didn't exercise either.
• I was underweight and couldn't see any point.
• I hated every miserable second of sport at school, had binned my trainers at 18 and sworn I would never do anything so horrible again.

I had a child in my mid 40s, a UK-based job with a 10 minute commute. I was less slim after having DS. My employer provided showers & a campus with lots of space and no traffic.

There was a reason to exercise, so I bought my first pair of trainers in 30 years and started to jog. It took 8 years before I can honestly say I enjoyed it, but at least there was a reason to run.

One word from a fitness freak though and I've have retreated to a safe distance.

@motherloaded

Honestly, is it REALLY that difficult to understand people are different?

that's not the point. It IS hard to understand why people who chose to limit their present and future, restrict their life and severely restrict their quality of life by sheer laziness.

I can understand someone who spends days laying in the sun on the beach, even if it's not really my thing.

I can't understand why you would chose to make yourself feel unwell and make your future very difficult. I don't care so much, but I find it sad.

I do judge parents who mess up their kids. Do whatever you want when you are concerned, but it's not right not to do the best you possibly can for your kids.

But op understands perfectly well, since it was exactly what she did herself until very recently. It can't hold any mystery for her.

@JumpingJacky My reply will probably be different from the rest but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story if nothing else.
I’m current at 18.5st myself and I feel horrific, my confidence is zero and my health is struggling. Im already a member of a gym but haven’t been as I panic I won’t know what to do. Any hints and tips would be really appreciated

It IS hard to understand why people who chose to limit their present and future, restrict their life and severely restrict their quality of life by sheer laziness. The thread is about regular exercise, not laziness. You can be busy and active all day every day. That's not lazy, it's just not exercising.

Because it's boring, hard, uncomfortable, painful etc. It is extremely good for your health, regardless of weight loss. I still hate it though and any improvement in mental health that it has brought me has always been very short lived. I go through phases of exercising because it know it is very good for my body but I always get sick of it and stop.

I work full time in a demanding job with a toddler, I’m up at 5am 3 times a week to do exercise and I hate it! Your post is really preachy and doesn’t account for peoples individual circumstances. I went through long periods last year without exercising as I’m exhausted and often running on empty reserves but yeah OK when I’m not doing my current regime I’m just lazy and don’t care about my health.

It IS hard to understand why people who chose to limit their present and future, restrict their life and severely restrict their quality of life by sheer laziness.

Have you read the thread, or are you too far up on your high horse to be able to see it properly?

@JumpingJacky and @pictish

I am currently very overweight and interested to know how you started off...

What did you do in the very first week or two to get started?

I love exercise too. But all through my 20s I sneered at exercisers and thought they were sad, wholesome losers. I rejected any and all attempts made by well-meaning friends to persuade me to get off my arse and move about a bit more. I was naturally slim then so I got away with it.

After I had kids, I started exercising. Mainly because my MH was poor when they were little and I needed some time away from them a few evenings a week. Then I found a love for it but it took a looooong time.

Having had an epiphany of my own, I do feel a bit frustrated with friends/family who are completely sedentary (apart from those with disabilities, illnesses, injuries or other reasons why exercise would be very difficult or not very beneficial for them). But I don’t comment on it, and just secretly hope that one day they will discover a physical activity that they can really enjoy. Personally, I think getting fitter is brilliant for improving self-esteem and body image, which I think some of my friends could benefit from. But it’s their life and their body and they make their own choices.

I'm 40 and the exercise I've been doing in the last 2 years has 100% changed my life and body for the better. However, I went 38 years (OK, 20 as an adult) without really bothering too much, despite the fact that I knew it would be a good idea.

My point is that it's the right time when it is.
Absolutely fine to talk about how it's helped you and to give anecdotal advice if asked but it is not always as simple as just doing it for some people.

OP you are like a convert to exercise and desperately trying to "evangelise" your friends.
For your overweight friend - exercise won't help her lose weight on its own. And if she has so many aches and pains then rather than joining a Gym she might do better spending her money on a physio - I'm quite "evangelical" about that as I had a really troublesome ankle and a few sessions with a physio really helped and taught me exercises to use if I start to get a problem again. Joint pain can make exercise really painful to impossible, and needs to be treated first.

YANBU but weirdly, we live in an age where it is NOT ON to suggest that people have power to take responsibility and agency over their own lives. (However, weirder still, it IS ON to demand that other people take responsibility for how you feel).

@motherloaded

Honestly, is it REALLY that difficult to understand people are different?

that's not the point. It IS hard to understand why people who chose to limit their present and future, restrict their life and severely restrict their quality of life by sheer laziness.

I can understand someone who spends days laying in the sun on the beach, even if it's not really my thing.

I can't understand why you would chose to make yourself feel unwell and make your future very difficult. I don't care so much, but I find it sad.

I do judge parents who mess up their kids. Do whatever you want when you are concerned, but it's not right not to do the best you possibly can for your kids.

Well this post has had plenty of people explain why exercise does not make them feel better. Chronic fatigue syndrome Coeliac disease Crohn’s disease Muscular dystrophy fibromyalgia Multiple sclerosis Autoimmune disease Connective tissue disorders Brittle asthma

All off the top of my head are conditions that affect the ability to exercise.
I have spinal stenosis and a pelvis that was broken in Labour that wasn’t diagnosed for a year (because women with gynaecology issues are flat last in anyone giving a shit about your pain) so healed misaligned, that combined with a connective tissue disorder means I can literally dislocate a hip by standing up wrong.

And I’m far from alone.

That doesn’t even begin to touch on people with mental health issues, those with chaotic lives, social issues, family problems, money worries. All of which are more pressing than exercising.

I’m not evangelical as I wouldn’t dream of prescribing it to anyone else, but I’m fanatical about it for myself. It saved my life too, when I was prenatally suicidal with depression.

This was clearly just OP trying to create an opportunity to brag about how great she is for losing weight. Asking why people don't want to exercise - you know damn well why because you've been there. I lost 40% of my body weight and ran a marathon - doesn't mean I feel "entitled" to harass other people and generally be a dick. Nor do I feel the need to make threads on mumsnet to try and be told how amazing I am (because clearly you've run out of friends and family fawning over you because you've become intolerable).
I'm actually glad it backfired and you're getting an appropriate response.

The OP took a while to take responsibility for her own life, but now appears to think that pressuring others to follow her lead, is her right.

[quote mommathatwearspink]@JumpingJacky My reply will probably be different from the rest but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story if nothing else.
I’m current at 18.5st myself and I feel horrific, my confidence is zero and my health is struggling. Im already a member of a gym but haven’t been as I panic I won’t know what to do. Any hints and tips would be really appreciated [/quote]
How about something from somebody who isn't trying to be a dick to non exercisers about it?

Book an induction session with the gym. There, the trainer will look at your medical conditions, your current size/ability level and make some short term, achievable targets with you whilst teaching you how to use the equipment safely. They will recommend that you record what you've done so that, in three months' time, you can look back and see your progress. You can rebook in with them for a review and they can give you further advice (as well as you being able to ask at any time whilst you're there).

Twice a week is a sensible start, rather than going at it hammer and tongs. I think that, instead of risking knee and hip pain from cycling, the treadmill or the stairclimber/elliptical (as they're built for men to use), the rowing machine is easier whilst being more challenging overall as a warmup for 10 or 20 minutes. But that's personal preference - I'm a fan of not injuring myself more if I can avoid it - the biggest risk from a Concept 2 in my experience is trying to get up too quickly afterwards and tripping over the thing with wobbly legs.

Bring an iPod of sorts and some bluetooth headphones. The music in gyms is dire. Playlists can make all the difference when you're not feeling it.

It's perfectly fine to tell yourself 'I'll just do 20 minutes and then go for a swim' and then spend your time in the pool just moving around in the water rather than trying to imitate an Orca chasing a seal pup. And I've also spent time in the sauna and steam room when I've been hurting a lot. The idea is to keep on going; it's better than staying at home.